Can't Live Without You
by PleaseDoNotGoogleMe
Summary: He always wondered why he always tried to stand up for her, it never got him anywhere. But he keeps on doing it, again and again. Even though he knows they're done. Even though he knows he's still in love with her
1. Don't Talk About Her Like That

Finn watched as Puck threw him a pass from across the football field. If anyone else was on the receiving end of that throw they would of needed to jump to catch the ball, but considering his height, he only needed to reach up a bit. As the ball collided with Finn's hand he felt the familiar sensation of painful prickles across his palm, but this was unavoidable in football. He motioned for Puck to come in and yelled to his team to come in for a huddle. As the football team formed a circle, he heard Karofsky and Azimo sniggering about something. He really wasn't in the mood for them today and thought best not to call them out and get on with the play. As he was explaining the game plan he stopped mid-sentence when he noticed Karofsky and Azimo whispering and looking at the Cheerios practicing their routine.

"Do you have a problem?" he asked scornfully, he was still feeling resentful to these guys after they tortured Kurt and made him leave McKinley.

Karofsky and Azimo looked up and shared a glance with each other, "That Quinn girl thinks she can get her life back? Who's that whore jumped to next? Isn't it you Evans?" Karofsky asked patronizingly. Finn felt anger boiling up inside him; he was using all his self-control trying not to tackle the burley guy to the ground.

Instead he said scathingly, "Don't you dare talk about her like that". He felt the anger ripple up again, except this time at himself. _What are you doing?_ _Quinn was Sam's. Quinn didn't care about you. She lied to you. If she cared about you then she wouldn't have slept with Puck._ Ugh, there it was again. The anger surging through him, directed at Puck, this guy really did screw up his life. _Keep it together_ he thought to himself, _keep it together, c'mon breathe, calm down_, he told himself. It wasn't working well. He'd feel better when Sam backed him up.

Problem was, Sam wasn't saying anything, and he looked at the ground like it was talking to him. He glared at Sam, not believing he wouldn't stick up for his girlfriend. To be honest, he was actually starting to like the dude, but all his feelings towards Sam were drowned by his hatred at him right now. He made a mental note that after he finished with Azimo and Karofsky, he would chew Sam out. Karofsky started laughing and soon enough, Azimo was laughing too. Good thing the rest of the football team was smart enough to know that when Finn lost it, it would take a while for the guy to calm down.

And truth be told, Finn could really bring it when he got into a fight.

"Why do you even care man, she cheated on you with your _best friend, _she lied to you, if anything you should be laughing with us and chant slut at her every time she goes past in the hallways" Azmio taunted.

Then Karofsky spoke up, "Oooo be careful man, Hudson's gonna start crying boo hoo".

Finn looked at the ground, breathing in and out deeply.

It wasn't helping.

"Yeah, that's right Hudson, don't want to let the big boys see you cry" Azimo whispered.

Finn didn't even know what happened, he just felt his anger take over his body, not willing to keep it inside. He hadn't lashed out since he had found out Quinn was lying to him. He tackled Karofsky to the ground.

The guy didn't even know what hit him; he just wanted to get away from Finn, because even they he regularly messed with Finn, he knew that if he got angry enough you could very well go home with more than a bruise and a busted lip. Out of the corner of Finn's eye he saw Puck running towards them with Coach Beiste in tow. But he didn't care; he started beating every surface of Karofsky he could reach. He punched at his face first, wincing as he felt (and heard) multiple cracks from his fingers. It was a good thing that football season was going to be put on hold 7 weeks. Hopefully his fingers would have healed by then. He took another swing, his fingers burning in process, but he ignored the pain.

It felt good to lash out again.

Karofsky was the best guy (besides Finn and Puck) when it came to a fight. He did boxing and he was a lot broader than Finn. Karofsky started punching at his ribs; he felt tears pricking his eyes as he felt a sharp pain ripple throughout his torso. Finn didn't know who was winning, he felt exhausted and every bit of him aching. He knew one of his arms was broken but didn't know which and had a feeling his leg was messed up. He had a good feeling Azimo kicked it in order to get Finn off Dave. But again he ignored every stabbing pain throughout his body. He was too focused on Karofsky's face. He smiled in his head at the sight. Karofsky was sporting two black eyes, various cuts across his face and a busted lip. Then, after Finn gave Karofsky a punch to the head, he went limp.

He couldn't hear anything but the blood pumping through him.

The adrenaline.

The hate.

The hurt.

He never talked about Quinn to anyone, only when he had to, but he was put out of his misery when he felt a sharp pain at the back of his head.

Last thing he saw was Puck shoving Azimo away from him.

* * *

**Hey everyone, this is my first fan-fiction. Just putting it out there.**

**It's set after A Very Glee Christmas, but in the new year, so Rachel and Finn have broken up.**

**Please Review! **

**P.S. I know, i know, i made Sam seem like a total jerk, but for the purposes of this story, he is.**

**Thanks for reading this!**


	2. Finding Number 5

Quinn knew as well as any cheerleader, focus was one of the requirements to cheer.

If you didn't have focus you could easily mess up a routine and be off the team. But the cheerios of McKinley had a hard time tearing their eyes off the opposite end of the football field. It seemed some players of the football team were yelling at each other and fighting. She could tell Coach Sylvester was using every ounce of control power she had to not storm over there and start fighting as well.

Quinn smiled to herself as she was thrown up into the air, _only as minute before Sylvester cracks_ she thought. As she began to prepare for a flip her smile turned into pure shock as she saw the seriousness of the outbreak. Most of the time, when the football team got into a fight it would last about 30 seconds with both players having some mild injury, but they make up and shake hands and move on with their practice. But this time was different, she knew it. Quinn missed her cue for the flip as she tried to catch a glance at which players were in the fight. But there were too many people blocking the scene.

Before she could begin the process of elimination, she was falling back down, hearing the sirens of an ambulance coming nearer.

That's when Sue lost it; she marched up to Coach Beiste who was trying to keep curious onlookers from invading the paramedic's space. As captain she followed her obediently. As the football guys parted immediately for Sue, she saw two football players being loaded onto stretchers but didn't get a good look at their numbers on their jerseys as the paramedics were still examining them. She saw Sam, with a small smile playing on his lips. Her relief turned to shock as his lips pull a bit at the corners, almost as if he were laughing. _Why would he be laughing at something as serious as this?_ She looked away from him, _how could he be so heartless?_ She snapped out of her reverie when she saw Puck shoving Azimo away from one of the stretchers.

Quinn didn't look at first; she was trying to find the number 5 among the crowd, hoping Finn would tell her what was going on. Thinking that he had gone to find someone or get something she finally looked at the stretcher closest to her.

There he was.

His now torn jersey clearly reading 5.

Almost as if it was mocking her.

She couldn't hear anything.

She couldn't see anyone but him.

Warm salty tears began to run down her face. Finn never got hurt; even out on the field. The worst injury that she'd known was when he was 13 and broke his arm by falling off a ladder. Seeing him like this was like a nightmare, one where you couldn't scream or run.

She saw Finn in her mind, earlier that day, walking down the hallways, looking fine and healthy, then here; Getting loaded into an ambulance with Coach Beiste and Mrs. Pillsbury, with blood soaking through his jersey, out of his arm, his leg, his mangled fingers, but most of all, blood seeping through his beautiful hair. She couldn't look anymore. Mr. Shue appeared out of nowhere holding her close while she cried, both watching the ambulance take Finn away, wondering why this was affecting her so much.

"Quinn, come with me, we're going to follow the ambulance", Mr. Shue murmured. She nodded silently, still crying. Sam started to make a motion to move towards her but she turned around and followed Mr. Shue to his car.

The ride to the hospital was a blur.

She didn't remember saying anything, just shutting her eyes, trying to clear her memories that she shared with Finn.

* * *

**Hello again.**

**I'm not going to lie, I hate this chapter. But hey, who likes fillers? I know it's really short and I'm working on trying to make my chapters longer, but this chapter I had **absolutely **no idea how to start. **

**But hopefully you'll still like it. **

**Thank you to everyone who's commented and/or added this story to their favorites... it makes me smile :)**


	3. That Poor Girl

When they arrive at the hospital he sneaked a look at the girl behind him. He's never seen something so… broken.

Her eyes are closed, tears still leaking from her eyes- it's a far cry from the Quinn Fabray in her heyday.

"Quinn?" he starts tentatively, "We're here".

She silently nods, her face crumpled with sadness. They walk in silently; the smell of anesthetic welcoming them, turning them towards the front desk.

"Excuse me, which room would Finn Hudson be in?" he asked- his usual cheery voice monotone.

"Hudson… Hudson…" the receptionist murmured, clicking her tongue against the roof of her mouth. "He's in surgery right now, but he will be moved to room 413, but only family will be able to see him when he gets back." _Fuck. Surgery._

Then he reminded himself of Finn's limp body. His face blank.

Or what you could make out of it.

hen he realized he would need to say something soon.

He licked his dry lips and inquired, "Of course, which level would he be on?"

The receptionist gave him directions to level 3, and indicated where the lifts were. He put his arms around Quinn's shoulders and moved her to the elevators, and pressed the up button. The doors opened instantly and they walked inside. Mr. Shue searched for the level 3 button, his hand moving up and down over the various keys. He grimaced when he saw the caption under level 3.

_Intensive Care Unit._

Quinn seemed to notice as well, fresh tears gushing down her face. He couldn't help but wondering if she would have any tears left for the rest of the day.

A bing echoed from the elevator and they stepped out; his arm still around Quinn. He guided her through the labyrinth of hallways until they room 413. Nurses were inside, making the bed, moving in chairs, bringing in monitors of some sort and other things they would do to prepare a room for a patient. He saw Finn's mom, Carole, her husband and Kurt's dad, Burt and Kurt; still in his Dalton uniform.

He doesn't approach them at first; he waits patiently with Quinn while the doctor speaks with Finn's family.

He could tell they had been crying. They had puffy eyes and tear marks down their faces. He watched as Burt pulled Carole close and whispered something to her. He smiles sadly, knowing that Finn used to do the same thing to Quinn. Quinn buries her head in his chest sobbing; her chest heaving up and down, yet making no noise.

That's when Kurt saw them; he smiled sadly at Kurt, and waved to him. Kurt waved back, making no signs of confusion seeing Quinn there. He motioned them to join his family, tapping his father on the shoulder and pointing at them. Burt and Carole both turned as Mr. Shue and Quinn walked towards them. They exchanged a quick greeting before they focused on Finn,

"When is he going to be out of surgery?" he asked Burt.

Burt sighed and scratched his head. "In about 4 hours, something about sucking blood from his lungs".

Mr. Shue cringed and excused himself and Quinn and moved her to an empty hallway. "Quinn, I know this looks bad", she looks up with an expression clearly reading _No shit_ but he continues, "but Finn's a strong guy, he can get through this, I know he can get through this".

"But what if he doesn't Mr. Shue? What happens then? His parents can't lose him, Kurt can't lose him, Glee can't lose him" she whispered.

"I know, but we got to keep it together. Do you want me to take you home? Four hours is a long time to wait." He explained.

Quinn shook her head, "No. I want to be here when he wakes up".

He nodded, "Ok, well I guess we'll just sit and… ah… wait". She nodded again and moves towards the waiting room. _Poor Girl _he thinks. Waiting for 4 hours was hard.

* * *

He tried looking for Emma once but Carole said that she had already left. Quinn called her mom saying she would be coming home late. But most of their time was spent in a small, ugly waiting room reading cheap outdated magazines.

He didn't know whether to be relived or terrified when he saw Finn being wheeled into his room. Carole and Burt went to go speak with the doctor, leaving Quinn, Kurt and himself inside the waiting room. Mr. Shue sighed and stood up. Before he could open his mouth, he heard a screech pierce through the silent ward.

"What do you mean he won't wake up?" _That sounded like Finn's Mom._He walked out of the waiting room, silently looking at the hysterical Mrs. Hummel, who Mr. Hummel was trying to calm down. _It was Finn's mom._ Mr. Shue backed around the empty hallway, heading back towards the waiting room.

"It's amazing how fine someone can look the last time you saw them, then next thing you know they won't wake up" Quinn spoke as Mr. Shue walked into the room.

She then laughed without smiling.

That was the first time he'd seen her do that. She always smiled when she laughed. Either beautifully or cruelly. But there was always a smile.

"Why Finn? Out of all the people this could happen to why him?" Kurt put an arm around her as she started to close her eyes. They stayed like that for 5 minutes.

Never moving.

"I'm going to find my parents" Kurt said simply. He sat up and walked out of the room. Mr. Shue sat down where Kurt had been sitting. Quinn turned away from him as if she was trying to hide her tears.

"Quinn, look at me", she turned around and smiled sadly.

"I can't do this Mr. Shue" she whispered.

He sighed and held her hand and smiled at her, "He's going to be fine Quinn. He's stronger than you think he c-".

"What if he doesn't make it? He was in surgery for 4 hours. I saw him. On the stretcher. I couldn't see him like that. I didn't want to see him like that. I know he's strong. But this time, I don't think he can get past this" her voice broke, and started crying again.

Not silently.

Then he did something he would never do to any other student. He kissed her on top of her head and tried to smile.

She pulled the corner of one lip back.

That's when Kurt walked into the room. "Quinn", he started, "if you want to see him, you can".

She looked up in confusion,"I thought only family was supposed to see him?".

"Then you're his sister" he replied.

She laughed again without smiling. "C'mon" he opened his arms welcomingly as she walked towards the door. Mr. Shue followed silently.

He saw Carole and Burt leaving the room. Fresh tear tracks on her face. "We're going to get some dinner. Do you want some Quinn?". Quinn looked surprised at the tenderness at Mrs. Hummel's face. "If it's not too much trouble, yes please".

Carole then smiled warmly and motioned Kurt to come with them.

"Can I go and see him?" Quinn asked tentatively.

Carole smiled again. Except this time, sadness.

It was heartbreaking.

"Of course sweetie".

Quinn thanked her and headed towards room 413. "Mr. Shue" she whispered, then turned around, "You have no idea how much I really appreciate what you've been doing today, but I want to see him by myself first if that's fine with you". She looked at him, as if she was expecting him to be offended.

"Yeah. Sure, I'm going to get something to eat as well." She smiled in gratitude as she slowly turned the door knob.

He turned away, heading towards the cafeteria, closing his eyes tight when he heard a loud sob echo through the empty halls.

* * *

**Hey Guys.**

**I'm sorry if this chapter felt like a bit of a mouthful.**

**So this is what happened with the chapter,**** I was already nearly finished with this update when I posted the last chapter. Reason being is I hate the last chapter. I know as any reader that we hate short chapters and for that I'm really sorry. I just really wasn't feeling it and thought that if I left it I would hit some inspiration or something but considering the size of it, I didn't. **

**Anyways, hope you liked this chapter. As you noticed this is a lot bigger than my last update. I have been working on making my chapters longer, so just after every chapter I'm going to make it longer than the one before it. **

**Please review and I love you all of you!**


	4. Amber and Gold

Quinn felt the cold metal underneath her hand as she slowly turned the handle. Out of the corner of her eye she saw Mr. Shuester walking away. She breathed in deeply and closed her eyes as she walked into the room.

She shut the door behind her and turned around, leaning on her forehead on the door, her eyes still closed. She breathed in deeply again and listened.

She heard the beeping of the life support somewhere in the corner of the room.

Quinn shut her eyes even tighter, not willing to let tears fall. She searched inside herself for her own heart and compared it to the beeping.

His was too fast.

She felt her rigid façade shatter as she slid down onto the floor and let out a loud sob.

She didn't want to hear the fast beeping.

She didn't want to see Finn like this.

She wanted to be in his bedroom, sleeping, with his arm around her, talking about things that would make her laugh, that would pull her out of her guilt. Quinn stopped crying and listened again.

She heard more.

Something like a vacuum, except softer. Her eyes still closed, she slowly stood up, then gradually opened her eyes; wincing when the brightness of the lights in his room went through her eyelids. She put her hand over her mouth to stop another attack of crying.

There it was; that feeling where you were in a dream.

She walked towards him, counting her steps, hand still over her mouth.

It was like trying to walk through water, you ended up getting slower and slower the deeper you got. Quinn finally reached the side of his bed. A tear fell onto his face, she reached out to him to wipe it off. Her fingers brushed against the surgical tape holding the mouth piece to his face, she could see that it went down to his throat. If she hadn't known it was Finn, she would have guessed it wasn't him. His lips were swollen, his face pale but covered in bruises, more tape holding various cuts from splitting more skin open. His left arm was in a brace, followed by his mangled fingers on both hands. Some were in small braces as well, other's just torn skin. Her eyes slid down to his bare chest. More tears ran down her face as she saw what was making the sucking noise. It was another tube, placed on his upper chest, sucking blood from his lungs. Below, most of his ribs were taped up.

They had dark purple blotches beneath the transparent tape.

They were broken.

The IV and blood bag were making small dripping noises as she stroked his barely recognizable face. She closed her eyes again and listened to him trying to breathe. She realized that he wasn't breathing. The machine was pumping oxygen to his heart. Not him. He wasn't even able to breathe by himself.

_He's not going to make it._

She cried more freely than she had all day. She sat down next to him and held his hand that wasn't in a brace.

"Please Finn", she whispered, still crying, "don't leave me".

Why was she doing this to herself?

Being here.

Acting like his girlfriend.

She wasn't, she told herself stubbornly, she threw away that right a long time ago.

_But you wish you were his girlfriend_.

She didn't have the strength to fight with the voice called truth inside her head.

She usually did.

But she does want to be his again. She wished every night, before she succumbed to slumber.

She wished she never slept with Puck.

She wished she hadn't screwed up their relationship.

_Wishes she scoffed. _

Quinn didn't believe in wishes anymore.

If they worked, Finn would be awake.

He would be hers.

Beth would be his. _No. Thiers._If Beth was theirs she would've kept her. Or at least considered it. She looked back at his face.

So swollen, so pale, so dead. She started crying again.

* * *

Quinn didn't know how long she was there.

Holding his hand.

Maybe 30 minutes.

Or an hour.

Maybe two.

Her dinner lay forgotten on table where Mr. Hummel had dropped it off. She just stared at him; waiting for his eyes to flicker or to feel the slightest bit of pressure on her hand. But there was nothing. She went back to her earlier thoughts.

_Why did Karofsky attack him? Or did he attack Karofsky. Why did he do this?_

"Why?" she whispered to him, as she stoked his arm.

Remembering what it felt like when it was warm.

Remembering when her life was almost perfect.

When she was with Finn.

When Finn thought Beth was his.

When she had lost everything she had wanted. But had what she needed. She remembered what it was like when they would come home from school. When he would pretend to do his homework and just watch her.

When he would tuck a strand of her hair behind her ear, and say "Your amazing. You know that?".

Her memories with him were amber and gold.

Warm colors.

Her memories with Puck were grey.

There was no love.

Just grey.

Then when she had met Sam she thought there was the amber and gold. But it wasn't the colors she was used to. The amber was redder and the gold was more yellow.

They were plain.

They lacked any warmth.

They lacked Finn.

She thought being back on the cheerios would bring the amber and gold back, but they didn't.

The cheerios brought forth black, turning her amber and gold brown, the same color, the same rules, the same uniform, the same pain- her old life. The life where she would make herself vomit at lunchtimes. Where she would pretend to eat at dinner, but was actually shoving food into her napkin. Where she would lie and say there was soup in her thermal but was just Coach Sylvester's master cleanse.

Then she had ran straight into him when she was leaving the bathroom. She never admitted it to anybody that she liked him. A lot of people would ask why weren't they dating but she would just shrug it off and say he wasn't her type. She tried to imagine she was at his old home. His arm around her, her face in his chest, his free hand stroking her eyebrows. She imagined the grey walls were covered in western wallpaper. The life support his lamp. The table having books strewn over it and a football lying around somewhere. Quinn's duffel bag in the corner of the room with her things in there. But there was no warmth. The place she summoned up wasn't real.

It was a fantasy.

"Quinn?" a soft voice asked. She turned around quickly, wiping the tears from her face. It was Mrs. Hummel. "C'mon sweetie, we're going to take you home" Mrs. Hummel's eyes slid to Quinn's forgotten dinner laying on the table.

"Sorry, I wasn't really hungry…" she said, her voice cracking.

"Don't worry about it, your mother has called your teacher about 5 times already".

Quinn slowly stood up. She slipped her hand out of Finn's unmoving one, and gave him one last look.

She searched again, trying to see a trace of life in his face.

There was nothing.

Just the fast-paced beeping of the monitor behind her. Quinn moved towards the door and left. The hallways were dark, their footsteps always echoing- in the hallways, down the staircase, in the parking lot outside the hospital.

* * *

The ride home was quiet.

No one was talking.

No one felt like talking.

They just sat there in the car. T

he car slowed to a halt when they stopped outside Quinn's home. The lights were on, illuminating the street. Quinn thanked them as she opened the car door. She walked to the front door and rang the doorbell. She heard the Hummel's car drive away. She rang the doorbell again and waited for her mother to open the door. Quinn was there physically, but not mentally.

She had left a part of herself back in the hospital.

Back in room 413.

Back to imagining her life was amber and gold again.

Back with Finn.

* * *

******Here's another chapter for you guys. I know it's shaky but you know me. **

******I suck.**

**I hope you liked this. Please, please review and… I love you guys.**


	5. Nightmare or Reality?

"Quinn Fabray! Where have you been? When you said that you would be home late I thought an hour or two. Quinnie! Its 9.30!".

This was what greeted Quinn when she walked through the front door.

Her mom was in hysterics, saying things like calling the police, getting a search party. She felt terrible. She always managed to hurt someone. It didn't matter if she had intended to or if by accident.

She just left a trail of broken hearts behind her.

Tears leaked out of her eyes as she remembers a heart she had wished she had never broken.

A heart she wishes was hers again.

"Baby why are you crying? Look, sweetie, I'm sorry. But I was so worried about you".

Her mother went down to sit next to her and hugged her. That's all Quinn had wanted, someone to hold her and tell her everything would be alright. She tried to imagine that Finn was hugging her, that her mother's voice was more masculine, but she couldn't. She just imagined him on the stretcher. Blood drenching his hair. Then, Quinn broke down again. Her mother holding her rocking her back and forth, making hushing noises.

"It's alright baby, calm down".

Calm down.

That was new.

If it was anyone else and she wasn't miserable, she would have slapped them.

"No. It's not alright... Finn's in hospital". Her mother's eyebrows disappeared into her hair.

"Is he going to be ok?" she asked.

_Is he going to be ok? _

_Is he? _

_Will he wake up? _

_Will he sing again? _

_Will he play football again? _

_Is he going to be ok?_

Quinn shook her head, "I don't know".

It was a good thing her mother was perceptive. She noticed that they were about to unlock her Finn box, and that was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Ok, well , to bed now, you have school tomorrow". Quinn just nodded as her mother kissed her on the head. "Night baby".

Quinn sighed and mumbled, "Night mom".

She turned around and headed for the stairs watching her mother walk back into the kitchen.

* * *

Quinn felt her eyes drop as she turned the handle to her bedroom and switched on the lights.

Her room was originally all white.

White walls, white carpet, white bed spread, white desk, white lamp, white picture frames.

White.

Overcoming, over powerful.

Her father reminded her of white.

He said that the whiteness stood for Quinn being an angel, being pure to God, being virtuous. _Ha! Virtuous. She had lost all her virtue when she had slept with Puck_.

When she had met Finn she started to add color.

She had thrown away the white picture frames and replaced them with wood. She brought white pillows and bed spread, except with turquoise embroidery. She had started to hang her cheerios uniform outside her closet instead of always keeping it inside. She had gotten her pompoms and left them on her desk. She hung pictures of her and Finn at his games. They were gone. Substituted by Sam. She made her way over to those pictures and ripped them off, then threw them in the bin under her desk.

He disgusted her.

_Why didn't he help Finn?_ How could he just stand there. Puck, she could understand, he couldn't go back to Juvie. Mike wasn't at practice, and Artie couldn't physically do anything.

Quinn stopped and focused on the blinding white walls. She wasn't going to think about Finn. That was for when she had a distraction. When she couldn't think of Finn. She reached down and unzipped her cheerios skirt, then took off her top. She pulled on her pajamas and sat down, leaning her head on the bed post. She remembered the last time Finn was here. Helping her pack her bags, holding her while she cried.

Before she could stop herself, her eyes welled with tears. What if he never held her again? She rolled over. Crying herself to sleep.

Still battling with truth inside her head.

* * *

Quinn woke up.

She was in her cheerios uniform. She was outside, in the football field. The sun was shining spreading, light upon the world. She had thought she was by herself, when she heard the voice she had been waiting for the entire day.

"Quinn?" Finn said.

He sounded distant, like he wasn't really there.

But she didn't even notice, he was ok, he was here, in his football gear, running towards her, smiling.

"Finn?" she said as he reached her. She grinned, "Thank god you're alright".

He smiled.

His adorable, goofy smile. She hadn't seen it in a while.

But his carefree expression quickly turned into horror. "Oh no" he whispered, looking around frantically as if someone was coming, threatening to destroy their perfect world.

"What's wrong?" she asked trying to look around, trying to see what was coming. The sun vanished, hiding behind mounds of puffy purple and black clouds, as if it didn't want to see what was going to happen. Finn took her hand as if started to rain. He took her to the bleachers that had a cover, so she wouldn't get wet. Where she had watched one of his games when she was pregnant; cheering for him when he scored the winning touchdown.

Where she couldn't see what was about to happen.

"Stay here" he said, as he kissed her on the cheek and ran out onto the football field, into the darkness, into the rain.

"Finn wait!" she tried to call out, but he didn't hear her.

She waited until she heard a yelling. As if Finn was fighting with somebody. Then she recognized the voices.

Karofsky and Azimo.

"Not again…" she whispered and ran out onto the football field. "Finn!" she yelled. She felt the cold rain ruin her hair, fall down her back, drenching her uniform, then she found him. Crumpled on the ground, turning the rain around him red. Quinn immediately started crying, putting her hand over her mouth in shock, and sat down next to him. Lying her head against his bleeding shoulder, the red pool around him spreading.

She had had him.

For about a minute. Then he was snatched away from her again. She closed her eyes. Wishing she had not waited. Wishing she had never let him leave her sight. When she opened them again, he was gone. His body had disappeared. She stoop up then turned around, looking for him. When she saw Sam was right behind her. Smiling, almost laughing. She pushed him away,

"Why didn't you help him?" she screamed. "Why?".

She was crying.

Not silent tears. Sam reached out to her. Before she could say anything or push him away he started to kiss her. She tried to fight him, tried to push against his body. But he didn't let go. It hurt. On all levels. He was crushing her body, making it hard to breathe. It hurt to think what Finn would do if she saw Sam kissing her like this. But Finn was gone. Disappeared. Stolen away from her before she even had a chance to kiss him again. Before she had a chance to be held again.

Before the amber and gold could creep back into her life.

Sam was still kissing her; she was still trying to fight back. His hand moved lower down her back, she started thrashing trying to get away. Quinn closed her eyes imagining that Sam was Finn. But Finn would never do this. He would never try to hurt her. Never make her have sex or do anything more than make out.

_Never. Like how he would never wake up_.

Sam stopped kissing her. She didn't feel his hand on her ass anymore.

Quinn was in the hospital.

Watching doctors rush into room 413.

Hearing the worst sound.

One note.

She ran into the room. Her footsteps making no noise. The doctors taking no notice of her. She watched the flat line on the screen. She cried harder. Balling up onto the ground.

"QUINN!" her mother shouted from somewhere far away, "QUINN! Wake up!".

She jolted up.

Away from her nightmare, her personal hell. "Finn!" she screamed and started crying. Her mother holding her in the dark room. "Quinnie, it's me. It's alright. You're ok" her mom hushed. "No. I'm not. He's going to die mom. I know he is. They killed him!" she sobbed into her mother's collarbone.

"Quinn. Look at me", her mother whispered holding her shoulders, making Quinn look into her eyes, "He's not going to die. He's going to be fine."

* * *

She closed her eyes.

The last tears falling down her face as she lay back down. She was felt like she had a temperature, her forehead was covered in sweat, the back of her pajama top drenched. Her head banged and throbbed. She looked outside the window. The grey was chasing the darkness away, leaving a miserable coldness outside. There were no rays of sunshine breaking through the clouds. Her rays of sunshine were in a hospital.

Barely shining.

Barely breathing.

* * *

******Hey, so here's the next chapter, hope you like it. **

******Like I said before, I'm making the chapters longer so i'm pretty proud of myself for this one. **

**I know the nightmare thing Quinn was having was a bit of a mouthful, but you know me. **

**I do a lot of mouthful stuff.. and repeating the first word of a sentence, over and over and over and over and over and over and over... **

**Also, I was thinking about another story (Finn and Quinn- Obviously) and i was thinking if i should set it with pregnant Quinn, except Beth is actually his and stuff or season 2 Quinn which would include the dramas of school and Sam and a lot of Rachel. But the basis isn't around that, more of a drama story. (*hint* amnesia) **

**Please leave your opinions in the review section. **

**Oh, and yes, i'm going to wait until i finish with this, then write it. Please review and i love you :)**


	6. It's All My Fault

Quinn saw Sam standing by Santana's locker.

Usually she would ignore this, seeing as she knew for a fact that they were science partners. But at the end of the day, between catching up on the sleep she missed last night and worrying about Finn. She really wasn't in the mood for their obvious flirting. She was shocked with herself that she wasn't jealous. When Rachel was pursuing Finn she found out what jealously felt like.

And she hated it.

She felt kind of relieved actually, Sam was distracted from her. Meaning she could see Finn without him getting suspicious of something.

Quinn was going to see Finn again; she knew that even if she tried she couldn't stay away. She couldn't just act as if her life was normal while he was on his deathbed. She actually had surprised herself at how good she was at ignoring Finn before this mess. She thought it was going to be hard, and it was. But whenever she thought about his face when he found out her lie, she realized he needed to be happy. No, he deserved to be happy. She loves him enough to let him go. She wasn't going to be selfish like she was last year when she told Finn he was the father. She told him a lie. One that she knew would keep him away from Rachel, and keep him them together. Quinn let a few tears to escape from her eyes as her mind flashed Finn's face when he had found out she was pregnant. He looked terrified. And when he walked away… bearing a burden that wasn't even his, she felt sick with herself. _How could I've done that to him? _

"Hey Babe" Sam said loudly, so that everyone's head turned around to look at her.

She quickly wiped the tears away, swiftly checking there were no smudges in her makeup. He strutted down the hall to her locker, Santana with a satisfied smirk on her face. Then Santana looked at her, with a look of pity in her eyes, then she quickly regained herself and walked down the hall, hands on hips, cheerios skirt swishing around her thighs. Quinn wondered why. Santana had everything and more than she had.

_Like Finn's V-Card…_

Sam turned ever so slightly so he could get a glimpse of her leaving. "How are you?" he asked, clearly not remembering yesterday.

Quinn looked at him at shock, "Why didn't you help Finn?" she asks icily.

Her gaze boring into his eyes, Sam quietly said, "I… I wanted to be the quarterback".

Quinn's mouth fell open.

_He wanted to be the quarterback…_

She just looked at him. "Words cannot describe how disgusted and disappointed I am in you… Finn might die Sam. Die. I can't honestly believe how selfish you are!" She yelled at him. Her mouth still open, silent tears cascading down her face, she turned on her heel and ran away crying.

Hard.

She thought that she'd heard Sam calling after her, telling her to come back, he didn't think Finn was going to die, he didn't realize that it was that serious, but she couldn't be sure.

She couldn't be sure of anything anymore.

* * *

Quinn ran towards her car, then stopped in the middle of the school parking lot, realizing that she had cheerios practice. But at the moment, she couldn't care less. When she was inside she continued crying. Not caring about her ruined make up or about what Coach Sylvester would say if she showed up late to practice. She just cried in her car, where no one could see her. When she had calmed down she unlocked the doors slowly. Then looked into the mirror and redid her smudged makeup. Breathing in deeply, she focused on one thing. The new cheerios routine.

She sighed and got out of her car, locked it, then went towards the sports hall. As she walked through the silent halls, she focused on the routine. _Step forward, clap, step back, clap, back handspring, triple flip, pyramid formation-_That's when she noticed the boy's locker room. She tried to focus on the routine when she silently jogged past the room, whose door was slightly ajar. After she reached the other end of the hall, she hears loud laughter coming through the crack between the door and the wall. Then she heard Azimo. Anger swelling through her. She moved towards the door, not jogging, but walking silently, her legs slightly shaking from her earlier meltdown. She crouched down near the door and listened to the conversation.

"Touchy bastard. All Karofsky says is Fabray's a total whore and Hudson starts going all ape shit and goes don't talk about her like that and Karofsky's like why? To be honest Karofsky's pushing his luck… We all know what happens when Hudson loses it. Anyways so Karofsky starts saying stuff like Fabray lied to him and cheated on him. Then he just like, snapped and starting punching the crap out of him. Trust me, Hudson may be sleeping but he looks like a freaking fairy compared to Karofsky".

Quinn felt as if time had stopped.

The only thing she could hear was the beating of her heart.

Then somewhere else inside her, the beating of Finn's heart, fast and uneven.

_I'm the reason he's like this_…

_It was all my fault… _

_He's dying because of me… _

_They didn't kill him…_

_ I did…_

Quinn forgot about cheerios practice and ran back to her car, her shock replaced by anger, then pain.

_He's dying because of me…_

* * *

Quinn walked through the hospital, not even needing to ask where Finn was.

She had already memorized his floor and room number.

There were sounds of phones ringing and people answering, echoing across the walls. Then she reached the elevator, repeatedly pushing the number 3 button, thinking the more she tapped, the faster the elevator would go.

The bing echoed through the lift as she sprinted towards room 413.

She opened the door slowly, carefully, as if seeing him again would kill her.

It almost did.

But she didn't cry.

She wouldn't cry.

She closed the door behind her. He looked the same as the day before. Except maybe more color had returned to his face, though it was still considered pale. His bruises on his face had gotten darker, and larger.

_He's like this because of me._

Then all her anger at Azimo and herself broke apart. "Why did you protect me!" she screamed at him, "What was there to be gained besides me losing you? Did you think that it would accomplish something? Why did you do it? Where you trying to make me feel even more guilty about what happened between us?" she screamed. S

he was losing control.

She knew it.

She was crying uncontrollably and shaking.

_Was this what being insane felt like?_

She walked closer to him, listening to the uneven beating of his heart. His shirt was still off, accommodating for the many wires attached to him. Quinn sat down and lay her head on his chest, crying softly, hoping that he could hear her. Hoping he knew how sorry she was. She tried to imagine him waking up, saying it's ok, and wipe all the tears away.

But he didn't move.

He didn't speak.

She could hear the whistling of air as it passed through his lungs. Keeping him alive. She wondered if he knew what was going on. If he knew that he was in a coma. That she was there. But he was trapped inside his own mind.

Never breaking free.

She remembered one night that stood out, when he was there for her, when he held her, telling her he loved her. More tears trickled down her face and onto his chest. She closed her eyes, reliving the past for a moment.

**Quinn woke up, Finn quietly snoring next to her. Then she felt it, as per routine. The sour bile rising quickly up her throat as she ran to the bathroom. Finn woke up and ran after her, holding her hair back as she puked into the toilet. Quinn felt tears start to run down her face, her pregnancy hormones would make her cry at any moment. **

**"Hey, hey, don't cry" Finn whispered as he held her close. **

**She could tell he was exhausted. His voice was still heavy with sleep and his eyes were barely open. ****Finn pulled her away and smiled, "You know how gorgeous you look in the moonlight?". She felt a smile creep up on her face. She stood up shakily. He stood up quickly too, holding her so she wouldn't fall. She walked towards the basin and rinsed her mouth with some random mouth wash. She felt Finn scoop her up as she started to fall asleep on the spot. He lifted her up as if she was light as a feather. **

**Like she didn't weigh anything. **

**Quinn felt her eyes droop again as he carried her back to their bedroom. He lay down next to her quietly, as if he didn't want her to wake up. **

**She felt guilty, like she did every night. He was such a good guy. She was in love with him, more than she ever showed. Quinn felt her arms sneak around his body as she pulled closer to him. He turned around and pulled her closer. She smiled, as she just looked at his bare chest. **

**"Why are you smiling?" he asked sleepily. **

**She sighed, "It doesn't matter if I'm up chucking at a quarter past three or if my stomach is swelling daily, I'm just happy. Because I have you. I love you Finn". **

**She felt him smile against her hair. "I love you too Quinn. So much". **

**He pulled her closer and started to rub his thumb over her stomach. She didn't mind it when he did this, usually she would stop him, she didn't want him to get attached, it would hurt more. **

**And he was under so much pressure. **

**What from Glee pushing him to be the main guy, then the football team pushing him to quit Glee. **

**Then her. **

**Pushing him to get a job, to do this, to do that. She felt another pang of guilt. She looked up at his tired face. Deep circles underneath his eyes, scrunched up, as if he was trying to push thoughts out of his head. **

**Then she felt their baby kick against Finn's hand and they both froze. His hand stopped moving and he placed his palm against her now. **

**"Did you feel that?" he whispered, wide awake. **

**"Yes" she said. ****He let out a relived laugh. "That was the first time we felt her kick" she said. **

**"Yeah" he smiled then leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Quick but sweet. He was about to bend back up when she pulled his face back down to hers. He opened his eyes in shock when she wrapped her fingers in his hair. Their kisses became more heated and their breathing more labored as she moved up closer to his face. She snaked her hand up his back, caressing it. His hand continued to move up and down her back. She knew that he would never go past this point unless she wanted him too. But then she moved her lips down from his mouth, onto his neck. **

**"Quinn" he moaned, as she moves lower, down to his torso. **

**Then she felt it again. The sour taste rising through her body. She ran back into the bathroom and locks the door. Crying silently when she's finished. **

**"Quinn?" Finn whispers. He knocks quietly, "Please open the door". She slowly got up and unlocked it. **

**He hugged her, whispering it's ok, as she was saying she was sorry, that she got carried away. He picked her up again, placing her on his bed. **

**He whispered, "Night Quinn" and kissed her on the cheek this time. Then even quieter, "Night baby. Please stop making mommy throw up all the time. It sucks, 'cause daddy's always awake" and kissed Quinn's stomach. **

**She turned away, trying hard to keep the tears from rising back. But then he would take her into his arms and they would slowly fall back asleep. Wishing for the millionth time, that the baby was Finn's.**

* * *

Quinn opened her eyes, squinting as the bright light burned her eyes. A confused flood of thoughts entered her mind as she stared at his barely freckled chest. _Why do I feel like this? Why do I feel like the day he left me. _

She lifted her head off his collarbone, which seemed to be the only area which wasn't bruised, split or covered in wires. She looked at the clock on his bedside table. It was about the time she would usually come home from practice. Reluctantly, she removed her hand from Finn's and kissed him on the cheek.

"I'm so sorry Finn" she whispered. She closed her eyes as more tears ran down her face and left.

* * *

******Hey guys, I am going to stop the Quinn guilt train soon, trust me.**

****** But this one is like the showdown, and it's over 2,000 words, yay for me.**

**Soo… did you like it? Hope you did, not sure about the little scene with her and morning sickness thing, I've obviously never been pregnant so, hope I've got it right. If I haven't, then damn. But oh well. Have a great week and I love you**

**P.S Please Review and thanks to everyone who has**

**P.S.S I've been watching all the Finn and Quinn scenes over and over and over and over and over and over again. I'm a Fuinn fan, what can I say?**


	7. Far Away

It felt weird without Finn at McKinley.

There was no one with his tall structure to part the was no one with his renown goofy smile. There was no one with his confused expression. Or at least pull it off with still looking like the cutest guy there.

The hallways seemed bleak.

Plain.

She noticed him more than she ever did now that he was gone. Occasionally she would see Karofsky on crutches, his face barely recognizable. Azimo was right. He looked worse than Finn did. But at least Karofsky was awake.

She leant against her locker, searching for Finn's heart inside her.

It was still there.

But feeble, fast, uneven.

She didn't talk to anybody lately, except maybe her mom.

But not even her a lot. She felt cut off from her, her mom tried to sympathize, tried to distract her, but it never worked. Her mind always wandered back to the hallways of the hospital, to Finn. The final bell for the day rang as she pulled her bag over her shoulder, looking out for Coach Sylvester. Everybody was leaving fast, except for people who had afterschool activities. She turned to take the long way to the parking lot, she didn't want to go home and see her mom trying her hardest to make her smile. It was heartbreaking. Then she passed the auditorium, remembering when Mr. Shue had said that singing about something made you feel better about it. She looked quickly from side to side, hoping no one was watching her open the thick door. She let her gaze wander around, every time she was here it always surprised her how big the auditorium was. She walked up the black steps, towards the piano, remembering the tunes and the chords. Quinn began playing, her hands fluttering over the keys. Hoping that no one would hear her, that no one would see her cry.

_You used to call me every day  
the words mean nothing  
without someone to say  
now I stand beside myself in the pouring rain  
and I just want to see your face_

_When you're far away  
I miss you  
but I know you're here with me  
when you're far away  
I need you_

Quinn stops playing here. It's the male lead, and there's no one to sing with. She stops and stands up, turning to leave when she hears the drum kit starting to play.

Then she hears _his _voice.

_I lie awake it's ten past three_

_this empty feeling  
and baby I can't sleep  
the only thing I left behind  
a smile you can't see_

_I need you_

She turns around and sees Finn there. Smiling, handing the drum sticks to someone else, walking towards her, holding out his hand. She doesn't smile back, the tears still gushing down her face, but she takes his hand and he pulls her towards him. _He can't be real..._But she holds on to him, not letting him go.

_When you're far away  
I miss you  
But time won't heal the pain  
when you're far away  
I need you_

Finn twirls her around and returns to the drum kit. She turns around and faces him, seeing him looking normal, like he was in her dream, before he disappeared. _Please be real..._

_And I won't go back  
and I can't go back  
you're all I ever needed  
I want you back  
but you can't come back  
you know I didn't mean it  
I take it back  
and still I pray  
for one more chance  
for one more day with you  
with you._

He stands up again holding her close. She presses her head against his chest, feeling the strong, steady beating of his heart.

_When you're far away  
I need you_

_When you're far away  
I miss you  
but I know you're here with me  
when you're far away  
I need you_

She guides him back towards the piano, and sits down, his arm still around her, and plays the final tune.

_When you're far away  
I need you_

* * *

The music stopped.

But Quinn could still hear the echo of the piano, the drums, Finn...

Then she noticed the pressure around her waist was gone. He was gone. The realization hit her hard. Of course he wasn't real. Life wasn't that kind. But he had felt real. She had felt his arms pull her in, his strong heart beating. As if his fight with Karofsky had never happened. As if he had forgiven her. She put her face in her hands, the keys of the piano striking different notes as her elbows hit the cold ivory. As she continued sobbing, she heard a clap from the audience. She turned around wiping the tears from her face with her hand.

It was Mr. Shue. He got up from his seat and squeezes out of the aisle, walking towards her, still clapping. "That was great Quinn", he said when he reached her.

"He was there" was all Quinn managed to say.

"Who was there?" Mr. Shue said, looking around, trying to spot someone else.

"Finn" she whispered.

"Quinn..." Mr. Shue began, "I was watching you the whole time, the only person on stage was you".

"I know it sounds crazy, but he was there Mr. Shue, I felt him, he held- held me" Quinn choked out before she started crying. She felt his warm body envelop around her, wishing it was Finn. Because it hurt, so much, when he told her that she was the only one in the auditorium, except for himself, because for a moment, she actually believed that he was going to be ok. She believed that he would wake up, that he'd play the drums again, and football, and sing.

Do everything that he used to.

"It's all my fault Mr. Shue" her voice slightly muffled. She pulled away, not wanting his sympathy when she remembered what she had done. "If I hadn't slept with Puck, Karofsky would have no reason to call me a whore! Finn is dying because of me! You can take your sympathy. I don't deserve it!" She yelled. All her guilt, her pain, her anger surging through her body, clouding her better judgment. She saw Mr. Shue flinch and immediately felt bad for screaming at him.

Mr. Shue sighed, "Quinn, this is not your fault. You didn't make Finn start the fight. You may have been the topic of discussion, which caused Finn to defend you, but you didn't make Finn defend you. He chose to". He looked at her, trying to see some sort of understanding in her eyes, maybe a flicker of hope.

But there was just pain.

She started shaking her head furiously, tears dripping from her overflowing eyelids.

"It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter, if he never knows that I will always love him, it doesn't matter if everyone else in the whole freakin' world thinks that it's not my fault. And it doesn't matter if he wakes up. And it didn't matter that I was pregnant at 16, and got fat, and threw up practically every hour. I had Finn. He was… amazing. And I destroyed the best part of my life in less than 10 seconds. Everything that I had was falling apart. But it was ok, because he was there. And then, Rachel told him, the best part of my world crumbled to the ground as well. I had nothing"

Mr. Shue just looked at her. She wished he would say something. When nothing had escaped his lips, she turned around, heading to her car.

Heading back to a place where she could relive the best parts of her life.

* * *

Quinn was surprised. She actually hadn't expected singing Far Away would help. And it didn't, it made her feel worse. But after her little meltdown earlier, she felt… lighter about her guilt. As if someone else knowing how bad she felt would relieve the pain. Quinn was still walking through the hospital, turning the last corner to Finn's room. She needed to talk to him, he would always listen to her. Too bad someone was already in there.

And it wasn't Carole, or Burt, or Kurt.

It wasn't even Rachel.

* * *

******Ok. I lied. This one is more of the showdown :/ whoops. **

******I AM going to slow down the guilt train. **

******Trust me. **

**I wonder who will actually guess who's in Finn's room. Haha. Competition: whoever guesses who's in the room. Anyways… hope you liked it. I know, I know. Quinn showdown. Again. But whatever, I'm kinda on a roll of doing flashbacks, so you can expect a flashback in each chapter from now on… Well actually it depends… If you want me to still do them… Let me know in a review… So my chapter was shorter than the last, and next chapter is like 1,000 words. **

**Sorry. **

**'But they'll continue getting bigger. Promise. **

**Have a good week-end and I love you all :)**

**P.S. Oh yea, song's Far Away- Julia Sheer**


	8. He's Not My Bestfriend, He's My Brother

Puck walked into room 413, not believing that it took almost a week for him to sum up the courage to see Finn.

_I mean seriously? I'm freakin' Puckosaurus, it can't be that bad- the nurse said room 413 right?_

He looked up_. Yep, 413._He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes, remembering how much Finn was bleeding. He shook his head, clearing his mind, not wanting to remember the deep red blood darken Finn's jersey.

He turned the handle slowly, as if he was specifically trying to hear every creak. As he closed the door behind him, he turned around, looking at the white painted door, waiting to hear Finn ask him why he was here.

_Why am I here?_

He felt guilty for not doing something when Finn had jumped Karofsky. He was just watching, like everyone else. He watched when Finn broke Karofsky's nose, and watched when Azimo punched Finn's head. He heard the crack as several fingers on Karofsky' hand broke, and the louder crack of Finn's skull. And he did nothing. Just stood there, watching his best friend fall onto the ground, doing nothing. He was still waiting for Finn's voice to tell him to turn the beeping noise off. He turned around, half-angry that he'd have to break the silence.

"Du-" he said, before looking in front of him.

_No. I thought it was a rumor._

Sure, he'd thought it was possible but Finn… _Noah you fucking idiot!_

He just stared at the stationery body beside him. Not even thinking when he subconsciously brushed Finn's wrist, seeing the slightly paler skin than the rest of his body. Remembering when Finn had also worn a leather band, similar to his own.

**It was when they were in middle school. Puck had found a long string of leather behind the sofa at home. He walked to Finn's locker, grinning as he held up the shiny cord. Finn looked confused, scrunching his eyebrows together, backing his head away. Puck raised his eyebrows, not believing that Finn would forget.**

**"You know, I'm not a cat, I'm not going to play with it…" Finn said slowly. Even though the dude was a complete idiot, he made him laugh. Finn still looked at him weirdly.**

**"Dude, seriously, you don't remember?" Puck said disbelievingly. Finn shook his head, oblivious to what Puck was getting at. "The leather band!" her said exasperated. Finn's eyebrows unknotted and were replaced by understanding, a rare expression on his face.**

**"You found one?" Finn asked.**

**"Obviously" Puck replied, pointing to the string. Puck cut it in half and gave one piece to him, "We're going to rock this look!" Puck said, totally pumped, tying the band around his wrist. **

**Finn sniggered, "Whatever man" and walked off to his next class, tying his as well.**

_**At least he was going to wear it**_**.**

* * *

Puck sat down on the musty chair, next to Finn. _I've screwed everything up…_Some people thought that Puck had sex with Quinn because he had ulterior romantic motives. But honestly, he didn't. The majority of people were closer to the truth, he had slept with her because he thought it would be hilarious if the _President _of the _Celibacy_ Club would have lost her virginity to him. He actually didn't think she was that hot. She was gorgeous, but he went more for the hot girls like Santana.

_Damn, that girl was fine..._

He snapped out of his daydream when he recognized what was making that annoying beeping noise. It was a life support. The ones that you saw in the soap operas that his mom always watches.

The ones where people die.

"Finn… I'm sorry, for not helping you out back there. If… I'd thought that you would end up like this… Screw Juvie, I would of killed Karofsky" he promised. He couldn't stop getting teary when he remembered what ward he was in. He angrily wiped the tears that were threatening to fall"

_I'm the Puckster. The Puckster doesn't cry._

"I honestly wish things were different man. You know, with Quinn… She really loved you. When she stayed with me… she used to always say your name… She even thought I was you when we…" he voice trailed off with obvious meaning. He sucked in a deep breath, looking up at the bright light. He watched the line on the screen go up randomly, then down. He even counted the wires that were attached to Finn's body, hoping to avoid saying what he wish he could.

_Don't say it. _

_Don't Say It._

_ Don't Say It._

"I miss you"

_I just said it._

But he continued, "Every 6ft 2 of you. You're my brother dude, and I know I've screwed everything up between us, but I'll do everything to make it right" he whispered. When he wakes up he'll make everything right.

_If _he wakes up.

He took off his leather band and tied it around the lamp, hoping that Finn would see it, and know he was always there for him. That's when the nurse came in. Puck quickly stood up, not wanting to get in the lady's way. On his way out the nurse said, "You must be one of his friends, it's nice when people like...like this get visitors" she smiled kindly at him.

Puck didn't smile back, instead replied, "He's not my friend. He's my brother".

He then left the room, giving one last glance at room 413, trying to imagine what would have been if he hadn't have screwed everything up.

* * *

******Hey guys, you can probably tell who was in the room just by the chapter title so that's a fail on my behalf ;) **

**I know what you're thinking. This is so out of character for Puck but please note that i tried my hardest to keep him in character. **

**i'm not sure if i got this across very well but Finn is actually really sick or whatever. So he may die. DA DUN DUMM! jks jks. But seriously. **

**One last thing, i was thinking that i want to put two chapters a week instead of one because this is actually going to end up about 24-25 chapters. **

**Sorry, but i had so many ideas and if you're a writer i hope you understand. **

**Anywho, have a lovely weekend please review and/or tell me what day you want me to post another chapter or if you don't want me to... Just let me know :) love you guys.**


	9. Our First Date

Quinn watched as Puck walked away from Finn's room, hiding in the dark hallway, hoping that he wouldn't see the vivid red and white through the dark. He passed by, shoulders hunched, hands in pockets. She's never seen him this pained. No, scratch that.

Hopeless.

Not even when they gave up Beth he didn't seem as _hopeless _as he was now. Quinn sighed and turned around, forgetting Puck. She looked at the brass letters on the white door. 4. 1. 3. She dug through her bag and found her calculator and typed in 413, then turned the device upside down. _h l E. _She then frowned as she spotted an anagram, _h E l. _Hell. It was her personal hell. It was a sick joke, as if they had specifically put him in this room to torture her more.

As if seeing him like this every day wasn't enough pain as it is. She threw the calculator at the white wall. Watching as the screen cracked, as the screws and bits of plastic went flying, making echoes run through the hallways.

Quinn sucked in a breath, trying to keep her emotions under control. Something she was working on throughout the hours of the day. She moved towards Finn's room, remembering what she had intended to do before she noticed Puck was in the room. She walked inside, not noticing that the nurse was still in the room.

"Hello dear" the nurse says.

Quinn had seen her many times in this room. The nurse always checked his vitals and wrote things down on a piece of paper. She saw the nurse take blood from a wire in Finn's wrist, and write down something on a sheet.

"How is he?" Quinn asks, almost wishing she hadn't.

The nurse gave her a sympathetic smile, "Better than the last time you were here, but his body is rejecting any kind of antibiotics. He breaks down any adrenaline we give him before it can do its job. He's a weird one I can tell you, usually the body mends the major injuries, such as his lungs and ribs first, but his body is doing the opposite, it's focusing on the minor injuries, such as his arm and fingers" she explained.

Quinn just nodded, because she had no idea what to say. She waited for the nurse to leave, then sat down next to him, wanting to speak, but couldn't, wanting to stay silent, but wouldn't. "You shouldn't have bashed Karofsky" she whispers finally, stroking his face, which was gradually becoming less bruised. "At least you shouldn't have bashed him for me. Anyone in the school would be more deserving to be fought over than me…". She let her eyes wander, hoping to blink away anymore tears. Then she spotted something that she'd never seen before. She let go of his hand and stood up, observing the x-rays, looking at the many cracks in his ribs, the white cloud inside his lungs. She looked away, at the bedside table, seeing a leather band tied around the lamp, remembering when he had worn something similar on their first date.

I**t was at Breadstix. **

**Quinn walked inside, looking around, trying to spot the tall jock in one of the booths. She asked for a table and sat down, examining her nails, trying to look unperturbed, but was furious. This was probably a joke, most likely on camera, trying to see how long Quinn Fabray would wait for the quarterback. She waited for 15 minutes, then decided that she would be ridiculed enough on Monday, and left. As she walked back to her car she saw another pulling up, a tall man in a red letterman jacket glancing at her before running towards the entrance of Breadstix. She watched intently, wondering if that was actually Finn Hudson, the guy who sat behind her in Spanish. The guy who had nervously asked her to Breadstix while she was looking for her history text books at her locker. She saw him stop at the door, looking back at her. Finally realizing that she was wearing a cheerios uniform. He walked back to her, waving. She cocked an eyebrow at him when he reached her.**

**"Hey" he said.**

**She looked at him disbelievingly and walked away, heading towards her car. He stood there for about 2 seconds before he realized that she was walking away. "Hey wait up!" he called at her. She didn't stop. Quinn wasn't cheap, when guy asked her out she expected that he would be on time and at least apologize **_**before **_**she walked away.**

**She turned around and simply said, "You're late".**

**He genuinely looked apologetic, something she had never seen on a football player before. "I know" he says, another which was new to her. Usually after saying that they were late they would argue, or try to convince her otherwise and make up a poor excuse, but here he was, admitting to it. "I'm really sorry, I had to study for a Spanish test and I lost track of time" he said. Quinn nodded accepting his apology, but was still embarrassed to have waited for 15 minutes.**

**She just stared at him, waiting for him to say something, but instead declared, "I have to go". She turned on her heel, hands on hips, head held high.**

**Then she heard him say, "I'm not like them you know". She faced him, but didn't walk back. **

**"Like who?" she asked, interested. **

**He took in a deep breath, and walked towards her, clearly nervous, but at the same time, calm. "I'm not like the other Jocks. I know that you've gone out with a few, and there all douches, which was why I was surprised when you agreed to go out with me. I expected that you would think that I was worse than the rest because I'm the quarterback".**

**She smiled at him, believing every word and not knowing why. It was true that she had questioned throughout the day whether she had made the right choice to go out with yet another football player. They were players, everybody knew that. So why wouldn't the quarterback be the worst of the lot? She didn't know. Was it the way he **_**walked **_**down the hallways instead of strutted? The way he always looked confused? The way he had that goofy smile that made anybody's heart melt? Even hers?**

**"I hope you forgive me" he whispered. She smiled. **_**He was something special. **_**He reached out for her hand, and she accepted. Her heart fluttering as she brushed the leather cord around his hand.**

**She couldn't help herself as she said, "always". He smiled as as they walked back into the restaurant, both glad he was late.**

* * *

Quinn smiled to herself at the memory, at how quickly she fell in love with him.

She knew by sitting in front of him in Spanish was that he wasn't very bright, and sometimes unbelievably naïve.

But he was sweet, and caring, and a gentleman. A perfect boyfriend in her eyes. And she'd thrown that away for one night to feel wanted.

To feel needed.

It was the night that Finn had performed _Push It _with Rachel. It was at a party, Finn couldn't go. Puck was there, giving her drinks that at first she refused, then accepted. He took her up to a room and brought wine coolers. She told him why she was upset, that she felt fat. That it was the first time that she'd felt jealous of somebody, the first time she compared herself to Rachel. He said that he could do something to make her feel better. He gave her another wine cooler. And after that, she only recalls sloppy kisses and fumbling hands. One second it was Finn kissing her, not Puck. But then she felt dizzy again and the image reformed back to Puck. Quinn wondered if Finn had been there, wondered if Finn got her pregnant.

Would he still be in this hospital?

Would she be in her cheerios uniform?

Would she let their daughter see her father like this?

Would she be wearing Finn's promise ring instead of Sam's?

Would it be a promise ring or something more?

Quinn looked down at the ring, the small diamond glinted in the light. She slipped it off her finger and put it inside her pocket. '

She glanced at Finn and held his hand, then squeezed it, hoping for anything to indicate that he was waking up. There was nothing. Just like her life.

"Please don't leave me" she whispered, "please…"

* * *

**I hope you liked this chapter. (I'm pretty sure i'm just getting worse :S) I wanted to start off with Quinn being all high and mighty then meeting Finn and him not really getting that he pissed her off. So i guess in my messed up world where Quinn and Finn are happily together, Finn's naivety got Quinn to stay for the date. The next chapter is entirely a flash back, so be warned for major AUishness (I learnt what that meant a few hours ago :D I was thinking australia or kangaroos or something) Sighh, wish the flashbacks did happen. And that's why fanfiction was created... yayy. Sorry, super hypo right now. hahahhahahahahaahahaa... ahem. **

**Anyways please review and hope you have a good weekend... and i love you :)**

**P.S A Sparkle and A Twirl, you reviews means the world to me :) I will take your opinion into account when i write that chapter... Thank you so much... And everyone else, don't think i forgot about you guys, seriously i love you.**


	10. My Home

**Quinn was sitting on Finn's bed, doing her homework while waiting for Finn to come home from football practice. She heard the door open downstairs. She couldn't stop the smile creep up on her face as she heard the jingle of the keys as the metal hit the glass bowl beside the door. _Finn was home. _It's funny how she had immediately started calling Finn's house her home, because honestly, it felt more like her home than her actual house did. Maybe it was also because she felt like she could be herself around his mom. She could wear actual clothes instead of the baggy things she used to wear in attempt to hide her baby bump from her parents. Quinn closed her binder and placed it on chest of drawers. She went down the stairs, waiting to see Finn's tall figure emerge from kitchen, chugging orange juice or water.**

**She stepped inside the kitchen, "Honey, can you please take out the trash? I told you yesterday and you still haven't done it". That wasn't Finn. It was Finn's mom, Carole. Carole turned around, looking surprised to see Quinn there and not Finn. "Sorry, I thought you were Finn sweetie", she continued, "Where's Finn? Is he upstairs?".**

**Quinn looked at the clock above the sink, it was 7.30. "No. I thought you were him. I'm guessing he's still at practice" Quinn laughed nervously, trying to hide the worry that was rising through her body. _Where was he? _**

**Carole's eyes knotted in confusion, "it's 7.30. He would usually be home by now".**

**Quinn ran to the dining table and dialed Finn's number. She heard the steady ring before the line was disconnected. "He's not answering" she called back to Carole, as she tried his number again. The ringing sounded again before she was disconnected. She slowly walked back into the kitchen, feeling panic constrict her lungs. Her chest was rising rapidly, the panic over taking her. Quinn crossed her arms over her chest, trying to calm herself down.**

**Carole walked out of the kitchen, and pulled her into a hug, murmuring "He's fine. He's probably in traffic or practice was held for longer". Quinn wrapped her arms around Carole. She'd never done this with her mother. When Quinn was worried about something her mother would be encouraging, give her a boost of confidence, but never actually hugged or kissed her. A few tears leaked out of her eyes as she knew that her boyfriend's mom was acting more like a mom to her than her own had in her entire life.**

**The minutes passed slowly, as she busied herself with helping Carole prepare dinner, which was usually larger on practice and game nights than normal nights. Before she could cut the bread she heard the sound of a key fitting through a door. She put down the knife before wrapping her arms around Finn as he walked through the door. Finn put his arms around her waist and pecked her on the cheek.**

**"Where were you?" she choked out before she started to cry. _Damn pregnancy hormones._**

**He bent down to look at her, and exclaimed, "Are you crying? Practice got held up, that's all. Please don't cry. It's okay". She was sure Carole was watching them, waiting for them to eat, but she didn't let go of Finn. "Quinn" he finally said. "Yes" she whispered. "I want to stay like this forever, believe me, but I'm starving". Almost as a response his stomach gurgled. She chuckled, as he wiped her tears away.**

**Quinn unwrapped her arms from Finn and walked towards the kitchen, surprised that he was walking slower than she was. "What's wrong?" she asked him, walking back towards him.**

**He quickly looked up, wincing, "What? Nothing…" as he tried to smile, attempting to look carefree. He walked past her abruptly and thudded up the stairs, leaving Quinn completely confused.**

**Quinn knew by the way he ran up the stairs that something was wrong. She knew that something was bothering him, just by the look in his eyes. Forgetting about dinner, Quinn crept up the stairs, hoping that they wouldn't creak. She heard the sound of the faucet being turned on, and immediately turned for the bathroom, looking through the gap between the door. She saw Finn, holding the cool relief patches that she'd used when she'd pulled her hamstring. He took off his shirt, at first she thought it was the shadows, casting a weird lighting on his back. Then she saw bruises. Varying from large to larger across his back. She opened the door slightly, just wide enough to fit through and slipped inside.**

**"What's with your back?" she whispered.**

**He whipped around, pulling his shirt on nervously. "Nothing" he said, laughing.**

**She moved forward, yanking his shirt scoffed, "Nothing?" as she lightly traced the bruises, "Was this why you were late?"She turned around to face him. He didn't even look into her eyes. "Finn… Please…" she pleaded with him.**

**"I got tackled from our linebacker… No big deal. I'm fine" he said, fake-grinning. She gave him a venomous look and he quickly became quiet, knowing that he was in trouble. She shook her head as she plastered another patch on his shoulder. "Thanks" he mumbled, looking down. But she didn't wait for the rest of the conversation, she ran back into his room, shutting the door behind her.**

**Quinn looked at his room. The western wallpaper, the untidy desk, the drum kit, the basketball, the football helmet. Everything in here was Finn. She sat down on the bed, ignoring Finn's protests to open the door. Then the door opened softly, then squeaked as he closed it. She didn't even know how he got in, he probably had a spare key. He sat down on the bed, trying to make eye- contact with her. He held her hand, she was contemplating whether to let go. But even though she wanted to, she couldn't, because though it was a small piece of Finn, she never wanted to let go. Without warning she burst into tears, something she did a lot lately. Then he held her close, she relaxed into his embrace, wondering what she'd done to deserve him.**

**"Why didn't you tell me?" she said, lying her head on his uninjured shoulder, still crying.**

**He sighed and rolled his eyes. "I don't know why you're-" He stopped then, noticing the look on her face. He sighed "I didn't want to worry you".**

**_He didn't want to worry me… What did I ever do to deserve him? _"Finn… You have to tell me, what if those bruises were there because you broke something…"**

**Finn gave her a withering look, "They're not. I know how much stress you've been under lately. It's not good for you. Or the baby". His eyes flickered to her growing belly. She looked up at him, searching into his eyes. She managed to stop the smile that was threatening to creep up on her face. He loved her, and the baby. It was obvious. She lowered her gaze and intertwined her hand with his. They lay back on the bed together, Quinn rested her head onto his shoulder. And he kissed her. Softly. She smiled as she tucked her head underneath his chin, wondering how they were going to get past this. But it didn't matter how many times he said it. She believed it was going to be okay. Because he believed it was going to be okay. She looked up to his face and noticed he had fallen asleep.**

**Quinn spent the rest of the night watching Finn as he slept. He would often mumble intelligible things and knot his eyebrows together, she liked the way his eyes would quiver sometimes, and when he would smile, he would hold her hand tighter. She got up slowly, reaching for the blanket as she pulled it over them. Feeling exhausted after her panic attack before. _Why did I have a panic attack? _Then she opened her eyes in realization, smiling. _Because I love him. _He was her home and she was his. She felt safe with him. And loved. Quinn slowly closed her eyes, thinking that her life wasn't as horrible as she thought it was, her hand still intertwined with Finn's.**

**Never letting go for the entire night.**

* * *

Hey guys :)That was my sappy chapter. I know it wasn't very good, but what can you do? I really wanted to do a scene when they were at his house and just being a sweet couple because even though Quinn was living with Finn, Glee never showed any interaction between these guys at home, which I, personally, thought was weird. Moving on, the next chapters big (Yay :D) about 3,000 words. It is another at home scene except with a bit of yelling involved, and a cute bit at the end :) I swear this couple is going to be the end of me. Umm... that's it, i think. Please review, and hope you have a great weekend.

I love you guys

P.S This chapter was set when Quinn first moved in :)

P.S.S Does anyone else love I need a doctor by Skylar Grey, Eminem & Dr. Dre? It kinda goes with the story in a weird way...


	11. He Reminds Me Of You

**The rain was beating against the tin roof of the Hudson household, thrashing against the windows. Quinn stared intently at the rain, watching water gush ceaselessly down the one window in Finn's room. She sighed, it was barely one in the afternoon and she had the lights turned on. **

**"What?" Finn asked, his face quickly changed from an expression of boredom to concern as he looked up from his uncompleted homework. She turned her head from the window, watching the shadows of the rain fall onto Finn's face. Quinn smiled and crawled over the bed towards him, brushing away the many books and binders away. His face split into a grin as she wrapped her arms around his neck and lay down next to him. It was harder now, to be intimate because she was so much… bigger. She felt more self conscious than she had ever been in her life. Before, she could disguise it as having a really big lunch. But now, it was kind of obvious that she was pregnant. She tried to pull down her tank top to stop the fabric from clinging to her skin. But like tanks, it immediately clung again, outlining her perfectly rounded belly. **

**She couldn't help herself as she asked, "Finn", he turned his head towards her, "Do you think I'm… fat?" She watched his face go from content to confusion then to shock.**

** "Quinn, you're not fat. You're pregnant. There's a difference. Even I know that" he rolled over to fully face her, "I think you're… amazing, and gorgeous, and sweet… and plenty of other things that I can't think of right now". She smiled as she listened to him. She even giggled and hid herself in Finn's chest. She closed her eyes, breathing in Finn. "Thank you" she said, hugging him tighter.**

**Rain was still pouring when Quinn woke up. They must have fallen asleep. Well, _she _must have fallen asleep. Out of the corner of her eye she saw that Finn was wide awake. His arm was still around her, hand resting on her stomach. **

**"What are you thinking about?" she whispered. **

**He sighed and simply said "The baby".**

** Her heart stopped for a second as the guilty nausea swept through her, staring at his pensive face. _Why am I such I horrible person? Why do I love him so much? If I was a half-way decent person I would let him run to Rachel. But no, I'm too selfish. _**

**"What about the baby?" she whispered. **

**He gave a frustrated sigh, "Look me in the eye and tell me you don't want to keep her" he challenged her, his hand moving protectively over her belly. A few tears leaked out of her eyes as she remembered the evil lie that she was telling him. The lie that was overworking him. The lie that was pressuring him. The lie that would destroy him if he ever found out. _Lies. _Cruel things lies are. People always get hurt when one was weaved. **

**"I can't do this Finn" she pleaded with him. **

**"Can't do what? Discuss the possibility of keeping our kid?" he said exasperated. If he wasn't so exhausted, Quinn was sure he'd be yelling. **

**"_And why is he so exhausted Quinn? It can't be the extra hours at work he's been taking to pay for __Puck's __kid?" _a nasty voice whispered menacingly in the back of her mind. The voice sounded familiar, like it was from another life. The voice she used when she was making fun of people. The voice of Queen Fabray. **

**"Quinn?" Finn asked, waving a hand in front of her face. She didn't move. She didn't even blink. "Quinn?" Finn said again, more urgently, worry coating his voice. He was always worrying about her. Before she could stop it, tears fell down her face. She could distantly hear Finn screaming her name, his arms on her shoulders, forcing her to look at him. She still looked away. She couldn't look at him, seeing his frustrated eyes, the dark bags underneath them. _What happened to me? I used to be able to look someone in the eye and lie. _Lying was second nature to a cheerleader, especially a cheerio. _What happened? ...I fell in love. How could you not? His dopey grin, his height, his abs, his personality. The list was endless. _**

**When Quinn opened her eyes, she wasn't staring at the window, but at Finn's polo. She tasted tears on her lips, the salty tang not unfamiliar. Judging by the cold grey light that was slowly sneaking into the room, it was early in the morning. She wished she could stay like this forever. Stay safe in Finn's arms, but she couldn't. She got up slowly, trying not to trigger her morning sickness and at the same time, not wake up Finn. But this was impossible. He was a light sleeper and would wake up even by her moving slightly in the bed. He slowly opened his eyes, and looked at her. Just staring at her. His eyes said it all. _You really scared me last night. _She smiled sadly at him and placed her hand over his. _I'm sorry_ she sent back. He seemed to understand. He got out of bed and sat next to her, she leaned her head on his shoulder. Just appreciating each other's presence in their lives. He gradually lay back down with her, she slid her head off his shoulder and pressed into his chest, forcing herself not to cry. Her stomach laying on a quarter of his torso.**

**Finn was about to get up when Quinn felt the familiar feeling of a cricket running across her abdomen. He must have felt the baby kick as well because his hand immediately found her stomach. Even after it was over he still had his hand pressed against her belly, he was still staring. Caught up in the moment, Quinn placed her hand over his, and they both smiled at each other.**

** "Quinn… I don't want to give her up" he whispered. She immediately sat up as fast as she was able and walked away from the bed, noting that the rain had started up into a light drizzle. **

**"Finn we can't keep a baby!" she yelled frustrated. **

**He shouted back at equal volume "Why not?" She didn't want to be angry with him, she wanted to be back in his bed, falling asleep. But she needed to tell him this, even if it would hurt him.**

**"Finn we can't raise a baby! We don't have the time or the money for it! She's not my baby, she's not your baby! She's not our baby!". **

**Finn got off the bed, "How can you say that? You know what; I'd thought you'd changed. But you're clearly still the ice queen. What has our kid ever done to you?". **

**She scoffed and put her hands on her expanding hips, "Oh geez, I don't know Finn, maybe make me fat, get me kicked off the cheerios, make me lose my popularity?". As soon as Quinn said it she felt bad, well, worse than usual. It wasn't the baby's fault. It was all hers. **

**"It's not the baby's fault… It's mine" Finn whispered. **

**"How?" she asked, no venom in her voice, her hands on her side. _How was this your fault? _**

**He shook his head, hands in his pockets, "If I hadn't… lost it when we were in the hot tub this would of never have happened". **

**"Stop" she whispered, "This isn't your fault, it's not the baby's… it's no one's" She walked back towards him, brushing some of his bed hair out of his eyes, "Don't beat yourself up over this. Please. I will never hold you to blame for this… We're not ready to be parents Finn…". **

**Finn grasped her hand and held it to his face, he quietly mumbled, "I've got to go to work". He let her hand fall as he pulled away and left, slamming the door behind him.**

**As soon as Quinn watched Finn's car pull away she started sobbing. After a couple of hours she went to have a shower, her muscles stiff from curling up into a ball on Finn's bed. After she straightened her hair and got dressed, she made breakfast for herself. The entire day was spent doing chores that normally Finn's mom would do. She needed something to distract her from Finn, but he was everywhere. His clothes were in the dryer, his books were scattered randomly around the house, and pictures of him were everywhere. But she continued, cleaning every room except for Finn's, knowing that she would start to cry again if she went inside. As Quinn was finishing up her chores she walked past the spare bedroom, she backtracked and leant against the door. Not even noticing that she was imagining the walls a pale pink color, a crib in the corner, a changing table in the other, stuffed toys on top of a chest of drawers, a rocking chair in the last available corner. She could almost smell the baby powder. A typical baby girl's room. She felt her hands snake towards her baby, and that's when she stopped. The room faded back to the contemporary blue room. She yanked her hands away and continued on towards the linen cupboard. As she passed again with fresh linens she struggled not to look back at the room, but she succeeded and opened the door into Carole's room, mind-set on making the bed.**

**By noon, Quinn had already had lunch and cleaned the entire house. It was Sunday, so there was no point in watching any T.V. She paced the living room, trying to think of something to do. She walked past the book shelf, looking for a good book, when she noticed a couple of old photo albums. She took the oldest one out and sat down, carefully opening the pages. _A baby album. Of course, just my luck. _It was indeed a baby album, Finn's actually. A double dose of what she had been trying to avoid the entire day. But she was tired of running and hiding, she was tired of avoiding. So that's why she flipped through the album, smiling to herself when she saw a picture of baby Finn and his Dad. _Maybe that's why he doesn't want give her up. He never knew his Dad. He wouldn't want the same for her. Added that he loves her. _**

**Quinn actually surprised herself by going through all the photo albums. The next was when Finn was older, a toddler. Then after that were pictures of Finn in preschool, then the albums progressed into elementary, then middle school, then high school. These were surprisingly more painful than the baby pictures. There were pictures of Finn at his games- only pictures of when he won. Then some at a dinner party. But this one was unfinished. The last picture was of her and Finn. She smiled and took it out of the plastic pocket. There she was, in a cheerios uniform, Finn in his letterman jacket, in the hallways of McKinley. They weren't dating when this picture was taken, but her smile turned into a grin as she saw they were holding hands. How different they looked. Quinn was obviously thin in the picture, her hair pulled into a tight ponytail, curled. Finn was less muscular, and a foot or two smaller, his face was happy, he didn't look tired, there wasn't that frustrated look. Just the Finn before this mess. Before she could control herself, tears started to flow down her face. Finn didn't have to go through this, it was her own doing that he was like this. She stopped herself before she would start bawling, then looked at the clock, she had been looking at old photo albums for over an hour.**

**Quinn made her way up the stairs, and bee-lined for Finn's room. It was exactly how she left it. She busied herself with stripping the sheets and remaking the bed. She picked up all the clothes and decided whether they were clean or not, if not, they were thrown into the hamper, if they were, they were refolded and put away. As she made her way towards the laundry, she passed the spare room again. She stopped, giving in, leaning against the door. The image almost instantly reformed in her head. Maybe she was wrong. Maybe she could keep her baby. She and Finn weren't exactly struggling for money. But they usually only had enough to pay for her check-ups. It depended on how much Finn worked, which was a lot. She was too caught up in her thoughts that she didn't hear the steady thudding of somebody walking up the stairs. She didn't realize Finn's bedroom door being open until she heard it being shut. She jumped up, startled at the unexpected noise. Quinn walked away from the spare bedroom and into her own.**

**There Finn was, looking exhausted but still tossing a football into the air. **

**"Hi" Quinn said, leaning against the closed door. He caught the ball and set it down on the bedside table, swinging his long legs over the bed. **

**"Hey" he said, his voice crackly, like he hadn't used it since they last spoke. His hair was slightly damp from the steady rain outside.**

** She moved towards his shelf, where he kept his sports trophies, "I spent some time in the spare bedroom today" she said. He scrunched his eyebrows together, not understanding what she meant. "I imagined it as our baby's room" Quinn turned around wanting to see his reaction.**

** He closed his eyes and breathed in, when they opened there was just pain, "What did it look like?" he asked. **

**She sat down next to him like this morning, leaning her head onto his shoulder as she began to explain it. The pale pink walls, the crib, the rocking chair, the stuffed animals. He smiled, seeing it in his mind. **

**"My idea's better though" he said. **

**"Oh?" she mock challenged him, her eyebrow's rising.**

** He snorted, but then his face grew serious, "It's the same room if it makes you feel better, but there's a baby girl sleeping in the crib". He turned to face her, hoping not to get into another fight. A baby girl with her pacifier next to her little head, blonde hair, but Finn's eyes. _It can't be Finn's eyes though, he's not the real father._ Instantly the baby in her mind eye's changed to a darker brown, not Finn's lighter ones. She didn't like it, it didn't feel the same. Maybe it was because Finn's eyes were prettier. Or maybe she did want to have a baby with him. Even if she was only 16. Either way, the eyes became lighter again. **

**"I know what you're going to say, and I still want to keep her" he said, rubbing her back, "She's my daughter… and I know you said not to get attached but, I love her. I don't want my kid thinking that her father just abandoned her. I can't stand the thought that I'm going to miss her whole life. I'll be loving her, and she'll never know. But what you said today made me realize that you're right. We won't be able to provide for her, we can only barely give her the things that she'll need. I want her to turn out better than I did, which means giving her up to a family who have the money, the time… the option of keeping her" he finished. She kissed him on the shoulder as he looked up, trying to blink away in the tears that were forming in his eyes. She sighed, and cried silently in Finn's arms. He noticed in a few seconds. He always noticed.**

** After she'd finished he whispered, "I love you" Quinn smiled as she stroked his face, "I love you too"_._**

Quinn jumped awake, her eyes focusing on the hospital white sheets. The fast beeping in the background. She dreamed about an old memory again. _Is that even possible? To dream about memories? Did it even matter? No. _She looked back at Finn, remembering his face when he told her he loved her.

"He reminded me of you. Sam, I mean. Just his innocence and chivalry. I didn't think of him as a potential boyfriend at first because I still had my heart set on you…But you and Rachel were together and I knew that I would never have you. Sam was after me, Puck wasn't in the picture… I was drowning Finn, and no one was willing to help me out of the water. Then Sam came along, all eager to help me out. So I let him. But I let him because he was you" she chuckled slightly as she reached across the hospital rails to hold Finn's hand, tears starting to well up. "I'm so sorry for putting you through everything. I was going to hell… and because I was such a selfish bitch, I dragged you down with me" Quinn started to sob, her chest heaving up and down. But there was no one there to comfort her. "I love you Finn. It doesn't matter what happens, I'll be waiting for you" she whispered in between sobs. For a moment, she was back in Finn's room, watching the rain though his window, laying down on the bed, holding hands. He squeezed her hand, both smiling. She felt the slight pressure on her hand again, except it wasn't in a make- believe memory. She opened her eyes in shock, looking at her hand linked with Finn's. Then she saw it, his hand contracted around her palm.

Quinn didn't know what happened afterwards. She vaguely remembered running out of the room, into the nurse, mumbling something about Finn squeezing her hand. The doctors rushed into his room, taking blood, opening his eyes, waving a light in front of them. But when most of the doctors left, Finn was still in a coma. The doctors asked again and again, if it felt like spasms or if he was genuinely squeezing her hand. During the mess, Finn's family rushed into the room, quickly finding out that he had moved. As the last doctors left, she began to doubt herself. Had he actually squeezed her hand or was it actually a spasm?

Quinn shook her head. He had held her hand. But she couldn't stop the fleeting sense of hope that maybe, he would wake up.

* * *

**Hey guys :) so that was my big chapter. Again, like i said last chapter it's also surprised me (and pissed me off) that Finn and Quinn never had any home scenes together. Oh well, we can't always get what we want. I have no idea why but whenever i wrote long chapters i feel super proud of myself. I dunno. Maybe i am insane and that fairy is right ;) Anyways, anything else... nope. Oh wait yes, next chapter is... sad? i dunno. Wait till next week. Um... that's it... I love you guys, PLEASE review, it's basically what keeps me going and yep. **


	12. Don't You Dare Leave Me

_How could things be like this? How could things go from bad, to okay, to worse? Was this how the world worked? Like one sick, twisted game? _

"_Woah, that Quinn girl is looking fine"_

"_Dude, she dating that blond guy with the big lips"_

"_I thought they broke up?"_

"_Nah man, if they did, that Jewfro kid would have something to say about it"_

"_Oh. Damn, it wouldn't hurt anyone to talk to her right?"_

"_Not right now. I heard Karofsky called Fabray a whore"_

"_Nooooo waaaay"_

"_Waaay. And you know the quarterback? The really tall dude?"_

"_Yeah. Finn Hudson right?"_

"_Yep. Apparently, the big football fight between him and Karofsky was about that gay guy Kurt, or something. But, I got a little scoop of Jewfro's new story"_

"_How the hell did you manage that?"_

"_You'll never know"_

"_Can you tell me? C'mon, I'm your best friend!"_

"_Fine! Okay. So the fight was actually about…Quinn Fabray"_

"_No. I don't believe that. I mean I know they dated like last year, but he moved on to that theatre girl"_

"_Wait. Hear the whole thing, Karofsky said that Quinn was a whore in front of Hudson and he started beating the crap out of Karofsky"_

"_So… We're the only ones who know this?"_

"_Yep. Tell anyone and I'll throw a Hudson at ya"_

"_I won't man, see ya later"_

Whenever Quinn heard something like this, it made her blood boil. _I mean, they're using his name as a bashing reference. _But she tried not to let that bother her. Because, no matter what rumors spread around she was happy. At least a little bit. For the second time this year, Quinn's life refocused. Finn had given her renewed hope that he was waking up. Last night, everybody watched as he twitched his fingers. Then the night before that he had squeezed her hand. Just _her _hand. She couldn't help but think that it meant something. _Maybe he can hear me. _The doctors had informed them the same night that his heart was gradually slowing down. Which was one of the main things the doctors had been working on, his heart was pumping to a point where little blood circulated. Quinn was improving in her singing, in her routines and academically. When she had dinner with her mom she talked to her again. _Everything is finally working out._

As Quinn opened her locker, she smiled at the picture of her and Finn. The one she stole from his house when she'd left. She kept that picture behind her Spanish books. She didn't really know why, maybe it was because Spanish was the only class they had together. Suddenly, a voice startled Quinn out of her thoughts.

"Hey Quinn!" Brittany said, looking at her timetable.

"Hi Brittany", Quinn replied, "We've got English next Brit". Brittany's face eased and closed her books, walking with Quinn to their English class. It was their last class for the day, so as usual Brittany was happily rambling on about what she was going to do when she got home. Not surprisingly, she didn't mention homework. They sat down quietly in separate desks as their teacher started the lesson.

About half-way into Quinn's lesson, her cell phone silently vibrated against her body. She ignored it, hoping it was just a text. Fortunately, no one heard it. As the teacher turned her back on the class, the usual flutter of people whispering, checking phones and looking at others work began. Quinn took this opportunity to check who called her. She flipped open her phone and read the message, warily checking behind her that nobody was looking.

_Come to the hospital ASAP _

_-Kurt_

Quinn's heart plummeted into an endless abyss, while her stomach gave an uncomfortable lurch. Something was wrong with Finn. If there wasn't, why would Kurt be at the hospital? The only time he was there was after school. Quinn made up some lame excuse, Brittany looked at her mournfully as she left, but Quinn gave her a comforting smile. At least she hoped it looked like a smile. She left her English class, fumbling with the lock on her locker. She pushed the heavy dictionary inside, and slammed the metal door shut, the clangs echoing across the deserted hallways.

The trip to the hospital took forever, despite the fact that there was no traffic. It was her mind. It fished through every single thought and memory with Finn. It wouldn't let her move on. And she didn't want to. She didn't want to let go. She _couldn't _let go. What if he was dead before she got there? _Stop Quinn. He's not going to die. Not yet._

* * *

"Give me 360 joules!" a voice shouted through the white room. Quinn couldn't see who said it, she was too focused on the lifeless body on the hospital bed.

"One, two, three, clear!" the voice shouted again. She watched as Finn's body jerked upwards, but the one note beep was still echoing around the room, bouncing off the walls like death circling its new victim. She didn't even realize she was crying, or hugging Kurt as the doctor called out, "Still no pulse… C'mon kiddo…". Everything was in slow motion. And it wasn't stopping. She took a double take when she saw Puck in the room. Huddled in the corner, arms crossed over his chest. Pride and dignity evaporating as he watched his best friend die. She didn't want to be in here when it happened. She didn't want to be in here when they switched off the one note sound. The sound that would haunt her forever. The sound that would be awakened in her dreams, like a famished wolf stalking its prey. Her necklace was feeling too tight, almost to the point where it was choking her. She unclasped it and held in it her palm. Watching as a salty tear fell down her face onto the slightly warm cross. _What has this ever done for me? I prayed that I didn't have sex with Puck. But I did. I prayed that I wasn't pregnant. But I was. I prayed that Finn was the father of Beth. He wasn't. I prayed that I could get over Finn. I couldn't. I prayed that Finn would wake up. He didn't. I prayed that he wouldn't die. He's dead. _She threw it at the wall, everyone was too fixated on Finn to notice. The necklace hit the wall with a dull thud and a clink as it hit the floor. _You get what you give. _ As the doctors recharged the paddles and placed them upon Finn's chest, she knew it was over. He was dead. His heart had stopped beating. There was nothing. Puck wouldn't have a best friend. Mrs. Hummel wouldn't have her son. Kurt wouldn't have a brother. _What will I get screwed with? I won't have an ex-boyfriend to pine over? I won't have him in my life. Ever again. He'll be gone._ _And he'll never come back._

* * *

Puck was at home, when he knew he should have been at school. But he couldn't be around all these happy kids, laughing, smiling when he was hitting rock bottom… And he had math in period 6. Sure, Finn had squeezed Quinn's hand, and admittingly he actually felt happy that night. It felt like when he just had sex with a hot cougar. But ever since the whole Finn is dying mess, he hadn't had sex in ages. He just didn't have the motivation to be happy when his best friend was dying because of his own selfishness_. All because I didn't want to go back to Juvie._ He went with his grandma to synagogue the other day. He didn't really understand what the dude at the alter was saying but he still prayed. He still hoped. He was going again tomorrow.

Puck's phone vibrated against his bedside table, making that annoying sound against the wood. His eyes almost popped out of his head when he read the caller I.D. _Why the fuck is Kurt texting me? _

_Come to the hospital ASAP _

_-Kurt_

Puck's phone dropped onto the hard, wooden floor. He sat there in shock. First came the usual thoughts, _How the fuck did he see me there? Will he tell anyone? _Etc. Then came the realization of what the text meant. Hospital=Finn. ASAP… He grabbed his phone of the floor and ran to his car, not even mentioning to his mother that he was leaving.

And here Puck was. Just watching as Mrs. Hummel was hugging Kurt's dad. Kurt and Quinn were holding each other. Both crying. But he wouldn't cry. Unless there are such things as angry tears. _I mean seriously? He gives us this false hope then he just decides to go die? What the fuck? _Even though Puck wouldn't admit he had ever cried, he was. Not angry tears. Just full out crying. He tried to remember what life was like when him and Finn were at their closest. It was a long time ago. Too long ago. Puck started to turn into the real hardcore badass when high school kicked in. When Finn wasn't in every class he had. Puck had to work to get known. He was good at football so it was an extra bonus. But anything else? He settled for being the man-whore. On the other hand, Finn was popular without even moving a finger. He was just that kind of guy. The nicer guy. But they balanced each other out. Yin Yang crap. But it was a thing. You never saw Finn without Puck. Or vice versa. He thought about when he and Finn had started to drift apart. Sophomore year. That was it. Finn started to date Quinn. Then you never saw Quinn without Finn. Or Finn without Quinn. He actually _hated_ Quinn at that point. That's when Puck started to really upstage his image as a man-whore. Then there was the jealousy. Finn was the quarterback. Finn was the captain of the football _and _basketball team. Finn's dad died, he didn't willingly leave him. Finn had a girlfriend. Finn was more popular. The freshman knew Puck as the quarterback's best friend. Well. The freshman in his early sophomore stages. He was just known as the badass now (That was quickly beat into the fresh meat's skulls). The sex shark. The Puckster. Puckzilla. Puckosaurus… _Seriously? Where did I get that from? _

**"Puck & Jerry's?" Finn said, not even looking up from the T.V screen. **

**Puck gave him a withering look. "Dude, Puck & Jerry's? That's the best you got? Wow. We are lame". **

**Finn sighed and turned off the T.V, probably tired of losing. **

**"Puck… Puck… Puckemon? Wait, no that sucks" Puck said, leaning his head back, looking for inspiration. **

**"And you said Puck & Jerry's was bad" Finn sniggered. It was rare moments like these when Finn actually played the smartass. Finn hulled himself off the couch and looked at the movies he owned, trying to find something to watch. Sundays were boring. "Oh my god" Finn said, eyes wide open. **

**Puck immediately came up with a response, "What? Did you discover hot water?" he chuckled at his own joke.**

** Finn turned around, clearing mouthing, "Hot water?" But he shook his head and declared, "Puckosaurus" and he looked pretty damn proud of himself for coming up with it. **

**Puck raised his eyebrows in surprise, "Not half-bad". Finn smiled, and sat back down. "Puckosaurus…I like it" Puck said, fist pounding Finn.**

_Oh… Yep. That Sunday. _It seemed a lifetime ago when they were just Puck and Finn. Bestfriends and Football stars. _Everything's so fucked up. He's 17 god damn it! _"Still no pulse… C'mon kiddo…" the doctor said. He shook his head, focusing on what was happening. _C'mon Finn… Wake up!_

* * *

But it didn't matter how many times Noah Puckerman told Finn Hudson to wake up. It didn't matter how many tears Quinn Fabray cried over this one boy.

One note was still echoing across the room.

* * *

**Yea, that just happened. BAYUM! **

**Ok, i'm not going to play mean for long. Umm... You all probably hate me right? Meh. **

**If it helps i feel bad for crushing all your hopes... But you all still hate me... **

**Oh well, sorry for the delay for this chapter. I had it all typed up, ready to go, then i read it, and i was like, "This isn't working for me". So i deleted some bits and added other's. I like it better than the original draft though. Um... i actually don't know what to say (or type? :S). **

**I like to keep you guys hanging, but i know you hate it. I know reading other stories i hate it when people leave a cliff-hanger, but i don't feel too upset 'cause i know why writers leave it like that. **

**I love you guys, enjoy the rest of your weekend :)**

**P.S. If your Jewish, i'm sorry if i offended you by calling the Rabbi a dude. Or if it isn't called an alter... Sorry :(**


	13. Cold

Finn was there, like usual. It almost looked like he was sleeping. Of course, Carole would know. She'd raised the boy. But she knew something wasn't right. His skin was cold. Too cold. Usually it was burning and had cold sweat on his face. But this time he was cold. Just cold. The line on the life support was straight, he wasn't breathing.

She doesn't think she has ever been so terrified in her life.

The doctors swarmed in, like leeches finding a host, bringing the crash unit, performing CPR, bringing out the paddles. Her husband held her close, trying to protect her from everything. She didn't want to believe this happening, though she knew he was dead by this point.

Quinn came inside, shaking her head, Kurt going over towards her. She liked Quinn. She was always polite, even when they had grown quite close. And she loved Finn to death, which was good enough for her. Even though she remembered considering going upstairs to his room to find out what all the yelling was about. But she didn't, it was their business.

After Quinn came Noah. She never called him Puck. She'd always known him as Noah, his mother called him Noah, Finn for the first couple years of their friendship called him Noah. Puck never stuck. She remembered Noah came over nearly every day when he and Finn became friends.

It amazed her how easily Finn let go of him, how quickly their friendship had fallen through the cracks. God, she couldn't even classify them as friends, more like brothers in a way.

Burt held her tighter.

Burt Hummel, tall, handsome, charming… She couldn't blame herself for falling in love with him. Even if Finn didn't like him. It made everything easier having Burt with her. If she was by herself to deal with this… one death was enough.

Then Carole heard the life support stop. It was all over. It was done. The doctors tried, then failed.

But then she heard it. The uneven beeping. Faint. But it was there. Finn was still there. He wasn't leaving her. Not yet.

* * *

**_Is this all I do? Clean up after Burt and Finn. _Carole sighed as she picked up Finn's t-shirts from the floor. She then proceeded to make his bed and left, making her way to her own room. She recently stopped checking in Kurt's room for a mess. The boy barely left smudge marks on his desk. As she opened the door, she picked up the many shirts off the floor and carried them downstairs to the dryer.**

**Half-way through washing the dishes, the phone starts ringing. Carole ran after it, dodging the wet floor and fumbled with the phone, trying to press _answer _button, hand slipping over the keys due to the soapy water. **

**"H-hello?" she said, voice slightly strained. **

**"Is this Carole Hummel?" the voice asked. **

**"This is she" Carole said, laying down the dish towel and straightening up. **

**"You are the mother of Finn Christopher Hudson?" the voice asked again, professional, no emotion. Carole's breath caught in her throat. **

**"Is something wrong with him?" her mind already jumping to conclusions. **

**"I am not allowed to discuss anything over the phone, but it does concern your son. It's advised that you come immediately to Lima Memorial Hospital".**

How do you respond to that? _Yeah sure, I'll be right over_? Or how about _sure, be there in a sec_? What was she supposed to say? But that didn't matter. It wasn't important now. It was done.

Carole sighed as she moved closer to the bed. She couldn't think about what she would do if she had lost Finn. She couldn't even imagine waking up every day and not dragging him downstairs for breakfast. Not going through his homework all the time. Not going to his games. Not reminding him of ordinary tasks that would somehow slip his mind. She wouldn't feel the need to live her Finn had died. She remembered when she had got the call to inform her that her husband had died. It was mid-winter, Finn was nearly one. He was already missing his Dad, he was always looking around, trying to spot him somewhere. His mom would have to do for a while though.

Then in a second, everything changed. She barely remembered that night. She just remembered taking Finn up to her room and falling asleep with him. She called her parents in the morning. They looked after Finn for some time while she dealt with her husband's death.

* * *

Burt walked into room, dragging a chair across the floor, the loud noise breaking the disturbing silence. He sat next to her, doing what everybody did when they came to see Finn. Just watched. Except for Quinn and Noah. She was sure that she heard each of them talking to him. But maybe she was imagining things.

"He's going to be fine Carole, I know he is" Burt said. She turned to face him, smiling sadly. "I know". Because honestly, there was nothing left to believe except that he would wake up. That he would recover.

But in comparison, nothing good came out of wishing into thin air.

* * *

**Well, what did i tell you? i couldn't let him die! Finn's like my favorite character! Meh, I hope you like this chapter, i definitely don't, but cut me some slack, it was originally 200 words and a total disaster. i hope this kind of goes to the sucky filler chapter section instead of just being plain bad. I think you're going to like the next chapter though, think cotton candy and rides and some friendships that have gone down the drain. **

**Please review, and i love you :)**


	14. Lima Carnival

Puck silently watched as Finn's mom and Burt walked out of Finn's room. They didn't notice he was there. No one did. Except Kurt. He waited for 5 minutes, standing in a dark hallway, waiting for someone to enter Finn's room. When it was apparent that Puck wouldn't be interrupted, he noiselessly moved towards the room, shutting the door behind him. He almost expected Finn to wake up and say, "Hey".

But even if Finn was awake Puck knew that Finn would probably say, "What are you doing here?".

Puck sighed as he sat in the dusty chair closest to the bed. "Hey man" he started, almost wishing he could scream out at Finn, shake him. Anything to make him wake up. Memories flashed through his mind, remembering something that he wanted to tell Finn before the baby drama. "You remember when we were 15 and we went to Lima Carnival?" he scoffed, _How could he forget? _"I still have your shirt that you bought. It's still pretty big on me frankenteen. Seriously, it's insane" . It took a moment for Puck to realize that he was smiling. But he continued, "It also still has that glow stick crap on it. We practically bathed ourselves in that shit, then your mom told us it was toxic… Then we scrubbed ourselves 'till we were red… It wasn't the most attractive look on us…" he said laughing. But when he looked back at Finn, his smile vanished, the humor evaporated. The tears welled up in his eyes. Wondering if Finn could even hear him.

**Puck loved the annual Lima Carnival. _I mean, what was not to love? _There were rides, food, girls, alcohol… food. **

**"Man, c'mon let's get some cotton candy" Puck said, slapping Finn playfully on the shoulder. **

**His best friend's eyes widened when he heard cotton candy. _I know the guy too well… _After that they walked around for a while he spotted Rachel Berry with an older guy, probably her Dad. **

**_God she's pretty… _**

**Then Finn's voice split through his odd daydream, "Dude. There's a freaking upside down ride". Puck turned to Finn, who had a child-like smile upon his face. A passer-by would have wondered why Puck wasn't practically jumping up and down with excitement. Instead, Puck gave Finn a look that he gave him a lot of the time, _How old are you? Fucking 7? _But Finn's smile didn't cease for the entire ride.**

**"That. Was. Amazing." Puck said, after he walked away from the attraction. Finn was the only person that Puck acted normal around. He would never say that in front of Dave or Azimo. But Finn was Finn. His best friend.**

** "Yeah, I know rig-" Finn stopped in midsentence. Puck followed Finn's unfaltering gaze. _Of course. Quinn fucking Fabray. _The usual flare of jealousy ignited in Puck, dampening his ecstasy from the previous ride. Puck watched as a different smile creeped up on Finn's features. The smile that Puck used when he looked at Rachel Berry. Puck jumped in front of Finn, breaking his gaze from the blonde across the bumper cars. He whistled, waved his hand in front of Finn's face. But he kept staring at her. **

**"Earth to Finn! Wakey wakey! Come back man. Away from fantasy. Quinn doesn't date! Everyone knows that, so why do you waste your time pining after her?" Puck exclaimed, tired of jealousy, tired of hatred, tired of watching his best friend fall for a distraction from him. **

**Finn's eyes finally focused onto Puck's face, clearing annoyed, "So what? Leave me alone man. If I asked you not to look at Rachel the way I look at Quinn would you hate me for doing that?" Finn asked.**

** _Why does he have to know me this well?_**

**Puck sullenly said, "Yes". **

**Finn smiled in accomplishment, "There you go. So please. Drop it". **

**Puck sighed in defeat, "Fine. But I'm only backing off because it's you". **

**"In other words you think I'm awesome" Finn concluded. **

**_He's right _**

**"Nope. I fucking hate you" Puck said, unable to keep a straight face. **

**"A huh… C'mon Noah let's get some popcorn" Finn said, pushing Puck away, knowing that he would probably punch him for calling him Noah. **

**Finn was wrong.**

* * *

**The rest of the night was a blur. Finn bought a new t-shirt and Puck bought some glow sticks. Half-way through opening the packet one split open, covering Finn's new shirt in glowing gunk. **

**Then a light bulb flashed in Puck's mind, "Dude, we should totally cover ourselves in this. We'll be like human glow sticks". Finn immediately broke two more and rubbed the liquid over his arms and neck. Puck doing the same. Their completed work wasn't exactly their desired effect. But by that time, they couldn't care less, it was getting late and they were starting to yawn. They stumbled back to Finn's house, eyes starting to droop. **

**When they stepped inside the first thing Finn's mom said was, "What's all over your arms?".**

** Finn proudly said, "The glowing stuff in glow sticks". **

**Mrs. Hudson's eyes widened and ushered them into the bathroom, claiming the liquid was toxic. The rest of the night was spent in frantic scrubbing and a gallon or 2… or 6 of soap. But it was still an awesome night.**

**Even 15 year old Noah Puckerman knew he would never forget it.**

Now, 2 years and even wilder nights later, he was looking at the ceiling of Finn's room. Trying to keep back the tears that were falling down his face.

* * *

Quinn was the last person to see Finn that night. After he started to breathe again she left. She couldn't be there, she needed a break. There were too many memories, too many heart breaks, too many tears. What was worse? _The memories? _Remembering that they were happy, remembering that what they had was real, remembering… everything. _The heart breaks? _When she saw Finn look at Rachel the way he looked at her, when she first yelled at Finn, when he… _broke up with_ _me._ That won first prize. But she was pretty sure she had cried enough in the past two years to fill a lake.

Quinn didn't go anywhere. She just walked around, thinking. When she actually registered her surroundings she wasn't surprised at where she ended up. The Maternity Ward. She understood, _partly, _why Finn wasn't the father of Beth. She knew Finn wouldn't have stayed silent if they had chosen to give her up for adoption. He would have fought more to keep Beth. Puck may have not liked her decision, but he didn't fight for Beth. _Hell, he didn't even fight for our relationship. _That's the thing with Puck. He gives up too easily. She walked back to Finn's ward, still deep in thought. The curtains were drawn over the window, as they always were in ICU. Nobody liked to look at people who appeared sleeping, but were actually trapped inside their heads. Then she heard Puck's voice come from inside, "You remember when we were 15 and we went to Lima Carnival?".

She smiled slightly, _how could I forget?_

**"Q, you want me to get you a bottle of water? I'm going to get Britt some cotton candy" Santana yelled over the carnival music. **

**"No, I'm fine, I'll just stay here with her" Quinn called back, cheerleading skirt swishing over her thighs as she turned around to Brittany who was looking confused, as per usual. **

**Santana nodded as she pushed through the crowd to the food stalls.**

**"Did you know that cotton candy is actually strawberry clouds that float above fairyland?" Brittany said. **

**Quinn slowly shook her head, which was a basic signature move that everybody did so they didn't confuse Brittany further. Brittany smiled happily, and looked around, watching the bright, flashing lights illuminate the open area.**

**Santana came back a few minutes later, handing Brittany her cotton candy while trying to open her bottled water. They walked around, passing an upside down ride that Brittany thought would send them to outer space. Santana and Quinn gave her confused looks as they stood around, watching Rachel Berry pass by.**

** "Urgh, can someone tell that _thing _to get a nose job, seriously" Santana said, a look of disgust upon her face. Quinn smirked, Brittany, however, didn't understand what was going on.**

**After talking a bit about their new cheerleading routine, Santana giggled and said, "Q, Finn Hudson is totally staring at you".****For a second, Quinn Fabray disappeared, and was replaced by a normal, teenage girl in a cheerleading uniform. **

**"Really?" she questioned, resisting the urge to turn around. Santana nodded, smiled fading for a bit, replaced by a hurt look. But it quickly morphed into Santana Lopez's knowing smirk, as did Quinn's. But not before Quinn wondered if she was jealous. "Whatever" Quinn said, putting on an unimpressed face. **

**Brittany finally spoke up, "You guys should totally go out". **

**Quinn scoffed, acting as if she didn't want to. But she did. She really did. "Why?" she wondered. _Really? You know why. _**

**"Yeah, why?" Santana asked. **

**Brittany smiled and chirped, "Because their names rhyme silly". **

**Santana and Quinn burst out laughing, _not the reason I want to, but I'll add it to my list._**

* * *

**The rest of the night was spent walking around, until Quinn caught a glimpse of Finn pushing that Puck guy and running away. **

**"Guys, I need to go to the bathroom, I'll be right back" Quinn called as she turned around and sneaked after the two. She watched them fool around and caught snippets of their conversations. She smiled at them, wishing that her and Santana were still like that. But mostly she watched Finn. She loved the way that she would get all love drunk because of him. Then she realized that she said that she was going to the bathroom and sprinted back to Santana and Brittany.**

* * *

**Quinn, Santana and Brittany left soon after she came back from spying on Finn. Her father wanted her home by 9.30 and she was already getting nervous despite that it was only 9.00. But it did take a good 20 minutes to get home. As the cheerleaders walked back to Quinn's for a sleepover, finally out of public eye, they started to act like best friends again. They made it to Quinn's by 9.28, and ran upstairs to Quinn's room, throwing off their cheerleading uniforms and putting on their pajamas. They then sat down on the floor in a circle and played Truth or Dare, a tradition whenever they had sleepovers.**

** "Truth or Dare San? Pick your poison" Quinn laughed, pretending to be intimidating. **

**Santana giggled and said, "Truth. Definitely".**

** Quinn raised her eyebrows, surprised that Santana chose Truth. She went for the most original in the book. "Who do you like?".**

** Santana snorted and shook her head. "Out of all the things Q… Fin-Puck. He's totally gorgeous and has massive arms". **

**Quinn smiled, but the seed was planted. **

**Her best friend had a thing for her crush.**

* * *

Quinn wondered how she, of all people, could be so naïve. Of course Santana liked Finn. There were plenty of guys in their grade who were younger than Santana, but she chose Finn. She felt like slapping her former best friend after she heard that they went out on a date. At least Santana had moved on though, to Sam. But that didn't erase the burning jealousy whenever she was reminded that Santana took Finn's virginity. _It should have been me._ _A lot of moments were supposed to be mine. _But they had fallen to Rachel or Santana. Never to be claimed back.

But Quinn didn't broad over this too much. The pain always came back. The burning longing for him. His comforting arms in the morning, his hand holding hers, his kisses.

Him in general.

But as she saw Finn hooked up onto more wires than when he was first wheeled into this bleak room, she knew she was never going to get any of that back.

* * *

**And here we are again. Back to the end of another chapter. I don't know if i show be depressed or happy... meh. **

**Hope you liked this chapter, i thought it was a bit shaky but what can you do? **

**Before you get mad, i'm also a Finntana shipper, but Fuinn (Fabson?) will ALWAYS be my favorite. Besides Finntana is like my fourth favorite anyways. **

**The next chapter is short (sorry) but it's got a bit of Quinn/Kurt friendship and it's what i call "progress" in this story. If you catch my drift... if you guessed what i think your guessing then your guess is most likely right. Actually no, but your guess is most likely to be close. Okay i'm rambling, i'll stop now. **

**I love you guys, please review, and it would be interesting to know who else you ship besides Finn and Quinn, so if you want, leave it in the review section. **

**N x**


	15. His Eyes

"Kurt!" Quinn called from end of a hospital hallway.

Kurt turned around to the sound of his name and smiled back as he walked towards her. "Hello Quinn, how are you?" he asked. Quinn smiled sadly at his formality, and at the situation that they were both in.

"Better. A little tired. Coach Sylvester's making us do this ridiculous routine for Nationals with flame throwers and bikes and…". Quinn stopped before she could too worked up. "Sorry, you know what she's like".

Kurt chuckled, "Quinn, don't be sorry, I know what Ms. Sylvester is like".

Quinn smiled shyly back at Kurt. They had never really been friends, close acquaintances, but never could be classified as friends. She hoped that would change.

Quinn and Kurt continued their chat to Finn's room when they both stopped in their tracks. Nurses were inside Finn's room, squashing sheets inside a sack to be washed. Quinn's mouth opened in shock when she noticed that there was a large patch of bright red blood on all of them. On the other side of the hallway, there was Finn's doctor, Dr. Sanders, calming down Finn's mom and Burt. Kurt and Quinn rushed forward to the doctor who had seemed to finish talking.

"What happened?" Kurt asked, clearly terrified.

Dr. Sanders sighed and said, "He pulled everything out. His I.V, food tubes ventilator…".

Quinn whispered, "How?".

The doctor shook his head, "This sort of thing with patients in a coma is not uncommon, they don't know that they have wires in them, they don't know that they need them so they pull them out. We're lucky that the nurse forgot her pen inside, when he pulled out his I.V he bled profusely from his wrists, we looking for a blood bag now. But Finn's blood type is AB-. It's going to be hard finding a donor". Quinn bit her lip and turned around in time to see a nurse discreetly nod at the doctor. Dr. Sanders, nodded back, "After you" he said to Carole and Burt.

"Do you want to get a drink at the cafeteria?" Kurt whispered in her ear after Dr. Sanders closed the door. Quinn smiled and nodded, glad for a distraction from her thoughts.

* * *

"I hate doing this Quinn" Kurt said as he examined the many flavors of vitamin water. He sighed as he picked up the orange flavored one and handed the cashier some money. "Hospitals were hard enough to come to because of my mom, then it was my dad. And now it's Finn". Quinn put her arm around Kurt as they sat down. "At least he's not dead" Kurt whispered. Quinn nodded solemnly. They sat there for a while, watching people exit and enter the cafeteria, both lost in their own thoughts. Kurt shook his head, "Finn wouldn't want us to do this to ourselves… He wouldn't want us to come here every day. He would want us to be happy. If he… he would want us to let go of him right?". Quinn turned her head to Kurt. She had never seen him question himself. He was always so sure of what he wanted, who he was. And here he was, questioning a cheerleader who had no idea what to do with herself. She was pretty sure Kurt was right. Finn wouldn't want them to them to do this.

But she didn't have it in her to leave.

To hide away in her room, locking herself away from the guilt and pain.

_No, this is where I belong. With Finn._

Quinn and Kurt exited the busy canteen, and walked silently to Finn's room.

Too lost in their own thoughts to realize that they were walking together.

They sat down on a bench not far from room 413, staring at the brass numbers, wondering if they would see those numbers for the rest of their lives.

"Quinn?" Kurt asked tentatively.

"Yeah" Quinn said as she unclenched her hands and focused on Kurt.

"Did it… Hurt? The first time you lost him? Would it be easier this time?" he whispered.

Quinn scoffed, but took in a shaky breath. "Kurt, when I first lost him… It lessened the pain to know that I would still see him every day. I would still hear him. Still… fantasize that he was still with me… But now, he could die. And it makes me realize how hard a fell for him… How much I'm still in love with him… How much we went through together. It terrifies me to know that I'll never hear his voice again, or watch him play football… He won't be here". Quinn voice broke on the last word as a flood of tears escaped her eyelids. Kurt held her as she cried. He was similar to Finn in a way. At first he was awkward, not knowing what to do when Quinn cried. But after a few minutes he became a comforter, sympathetic. "Thank you Kurt" she whispered as she wiped her eyes with a tissue.

"Anytime Quinn" Kurt replied, smiling.

Burt opened the door slowly, "Kurt… Quinn. You guys want to come in?".

Kurt nodded and guided Quinn through the room, pulling out two chairs for them and sat down, arm still looped around Quinn. The first thing Quinn noticed was that Finn's hands were in restraints. Then she heard the sound of a flashlight being clicked on and turned around, surprised to see Dr. Sanders still there. The doctor moved towards Finn and opened his eyes. Then she saw his beautiful light brown eyes, she remembered a time when she felt they were everywhere.

**Finn's eyes, surrounding her, all asking the same thing. "Why did you lie?". **

**Quinn turned over in her uncomfortable bed, disturbed by Puck's sister's loud breathing. She couldn't sleep. It was everything.**

**Finn.**

**She held herself as she willed not to fall apart. **

**_Why did Rachel have to tell him? Yes, from a viewer's standpoint … he deserved to know, but she had no right to tell him for me. Who am I fooling? She had every right. _**

**Finn's eyes stared at her from her closed eyelids, still asking, "Why did you lie?". **

**She pulled the pillow over her head as she let the tears fall. "I lied because I love you. I didn't want you to know. It was a mistake, please Finn… I wanted it to be you". **

**She heard the sound of crunching sheets as Puck's sister woke up. Quinn quickly pretended to be asleep, listening as the little girl pull the covers over her and fell back asleep. _I wish I could do that. Pull the covers over myself and fall asleep. _Then she realized that she used to do that. **

**When she was with Finn. **

**His very name sliced open what was left of her heart, but oddly enough it resealed itself. Quinn looked down at the t-shirt she was wearing. Despite her protruding stomach it was still big on her. It was Finn's McKinley Football t-shirt that he had given her so when he worked late nights, he would always be there. Her face crumpled as another wave of tears overcame her. **

**She would have to give it back. **

**She would have to give a lot back.**

** When she repacked her duffel bag she realized how many things of Finn's she was using. His t-shirts, his toothbrush (sometimes), his shampoo, his closet, his drawers… the list went on. She quietly pulled the sheets off herself and crept towards her duffel bag, finding the pictures that she stole from Finn's home. She smiled as she went through them, almost to find that she started crying immediately afterwards. She lay back down on the bed, looking through the pictures. She kissed each one of them and closed her eyes, laying the pictures over her heart. **

**Finn still looking straight at her.**

Quinn snapped back into reality as the doctor was explaining that if he moved, it was normal. She sighed as the doctors left with Burt and Carole, wanting to sign the blood donation papers. She looked down at her hands, trying to find something interesting to pull her away from her thoughts.

"Quinn" Kurt whispered, pointing at Finn's hand. Her head looked up, watching Finn's hand tug gently at his restraints, she placed her hand over his, hushing him, each pull becoming feebler and feebler until it stopped completely.

Quinn couldn't help the smile, "He moved" she whispered, still smiling, hand still over his. Kurt let out a breath of relief, nodding.

As Quinn sat by Finn's side, one thought reverberated in her head.

_I will never let go of you Finn_

* * *

**okay, before you start to hate it, please bear in mind that this chapter has been edited, deleted and nipped 7 times. No joke, i'm serious, 7 f***ing times.**

**And yes, in my messed up head this was "progress". and no, i couldn't leave Finn alone and let him get better, because that's the awesome thing about writing... you get to screw with the characters. even though it's kind of sick.**

**The next chapter is depressing, i'm not going to lie. there is no sweet bit in the end like most of my chapters. it's just plain depressing. **

**Little hint, what happens to glass when it sustains a heavy force impact?**

**Wow. i am not becoming popular at all, i mean, putting finn in a coma, letting karofsky get off free with no lasting injuries. nearly killing Finn, bringing back to life, then make depressing chapters. I'm really sorry. (sad face)**

**Please review! i love you all. :)**

**P.S Have a happy easter :)**


	16. Broken

Quinn Fabray once thought that she kept an excellent façade.

Her composure, no matter the situation was always the same: Cold, stone, marble. Like an ice queen, ruling her school like an empire. Looking back, she always thought who was she fooling? She was a self-centered teenager who believed in the high school social status.

Then she had met _him. _

The total opposite.

He sat behind her in Spanish until the start of her sophomore year. Then he moved in front of her. She liked it better that way, now she could stare at him. He was kind, caring and sweet. He saw her differently than others. He saw more to her than the girl he saw at school who would judge other people by their appearance and popularity rank. He genuinely liked Quinn. It didn't matter how she would walk down the hallways like she was royalty. It didn't matter how many kids she gave a slushie facial. That was it, it didn't matter to him. He still liked her. Sometimes, she would sneak a look behind her to come face to face with him. He would smile then write something down. Then after learning about conjugating a new word, she stayed behind, like she always did to see him leave. He waited as well, she wondered if he was waiting for her. Or maybe she was a love drunk teenager who made a big deal out of simple things that he would normally do. But she left, she had History next and being late wouldn't help her. As she put her Spanish notes away and grabbed out her ridiculously heavy History textbook, she felt a hand tap her on the shoulder. At first he stammered a bit, and then he blushed. But he forced the words out, simple, original, but they almost made her façade melt.

Almost.

She bluntly said yes and walked off. Leaving him in a shocked state at her locker.

Those moments felt like a lifetime ago.

Broken hearts.

Broken dreams.

Broken hopes.

Broken words.

That's the word, broken.

Quinn Fabray thought she was broken. A broken person who had lost everything she cared about. She still put on a good façade, but anybody who knew her well enough could see the cracks, the chinks in her once impenetrable shield. But nobody saw it. He would though. He would if he wasn't in a coma. If Quinn was asked which person knew you best she would discreetly write down a four letter name. But she never let that name be spoken in her thoughts for the last year.

It would hurt too much.

When Rachel asked her to tell him that she thought they should be together, she did it to see if he still had any feeling, any sway to their old relationship. If it had been Puck it wouldn't have hurt as much.

In fact, it wouldn't have hurt at all.

But he said he couldn't be with her. His words sliced through her heart like a scalpel, slashing so easily through the already thinned layer of protection around her heart. She liked to think from that day that he broke her heart. But she reminded herself again, _who am I fooling_?

She had broken his heart.

Whenever she walked past his locker, she wished she could freeze time and scream. She wished she could throw her books at everyone and cry. But she couldn't.

Even when she remembered that he used to stand by that corner so casually, watching people pass by. Watching.

She didn't want to be the one to break him; she wanted to be the one to glue him back together.

To be Rachel.

But that's when she realized, even when something was glued together, you could still see the cracks. Sam glued her back together. Rachel glued him back together. But there were still cracks. Still imperfections. Things were only truly repaired when the person who first broke it put it back together. But she knew he would never put her back together. She had broken him into the finest pieces imaginable. But then again, he had done the same to her.

* * *

Quinn used to think she was made out of glass. One crack, 3 words, "I'm done with you", and she shattered. But now, sitting in a seat watching him slip away, she thought she was made out of plastic. It took a lot to break her. But once broken, she could never be repaired. She could never be fixed.

2 weeks.

Her life developed a pattern. Home, school, hospital, cheerios practice, hospital, home. Then her life started again, almost as if someone had broken the replay button. No one could stop it.

2 weeks.

That's how long she'd been here.

Just watching him.

Nothing changed. His thrashings stopped. His face was normal, his fingers had healed up, though some were still in braces. His leg and arm were healing. But he didn't move. He didn't speak. _He was just there. _The only change in her life was the new Nationals routine. Despite that it was ridiculous and made her entire body ache, she was thankful for a change. She never left him completely though. Sometimes at night, she slips into his room and watches him. She likes it better this way. It actually looks like his sleeping. Once in a while, she convinces herself that he is.

But she can't even fool herself.

When Quinn sneaks back inside her own home, she lies down on the bed and thinks of him. It hurts, and it tears the plastic away. But she knew that she's too broken to be fixed.

Not even by him.

Because she knew they will never be together again. There was too much between them to get past. Although she wishes there wasn't. Out of all the people she knew, he was the one person who didn't deserve this. He was like a child, totally innocent, naïve to the darkness of the word. It was one of the things she loved about him. As Quinn runs her fingers through her blond hair, she wondered what he would do if he _did _wake up. He wouldn't be able to play in the championship game, that's for sure. _I wouldn't let him._ Or the doctors wouldn't or something. _I really need to stop doing acting like his girlfriend. I'm not. I was. I'll never have that title again. _Even though all the hospital staff thought she was. Quinn couldn't correct him. She wondered if he _didn't ever _wake up. No, she wasn't going to think about that.

She still wanted some plastic to be left over for him.

* * *

She was so used to having it all: Captain of the cheerios, most popular girl, rich, beautiful. Then it all vanished, her cheerleading position, her popularity plummeted, she was kicked out of her own home, her beauty was still intact but her figure had disappeared. The only she had left was him. But then he found her lie, he was hurt, humiliated… broken.

Then he disappeared.

* * *

Quinn wished she was still his girl. The one who would watch him struggle with simple math problems, the one who would endlessly spend hours tutoring him at Spanish.

_The one for him. _

She knew Berry hated doing that with him. Quinn admits that she didn't particularly enjoy it, but you didn't get half of him, you got all of him. Berry just didn't understand that.

She could tell herself that she loved Sam. She could pretend. But every time they made out, or just lay down on his bed, she pretended Sam was him.

It was always him.

But when he pulled away it was Sam. And her heart's stitches reopened. She tried to love Sam. But he was better off as a friend. Nothing more.

Quinn wondered if it was the same with him. She wondered if he ever wished Rachel's hair was blond, or at least close to it. She wondered if he ever wished Rachel was taller, or wore decent clothing. She wondered when he looked in Rachel's eyes he saw hers. _No, he wouldn't. He just wanted to forget me. I held on._

* * *

Their broken hearts were glued back together by others.

They shared the same broken dream: A dream to be back in each other's arms.

She had the broken hope: A hope that he would wake up.

He had the broken words. They were so simple. 3 little words. He wanted to tell her them. But when he became too close a blond stole her away from him.

* * *

_I love you Finn._

Finn.

That name made the cracks deeper.

She wondered how nobody saw her shatter.

* * *

**Hello again!**

**Here is my depressing chapter... i guess it's more of a filler than an actual chapter. **

**Um... next chapter is big and it's got some Puckleberry in it. **

**I actually have no idea what to type...**

**Hope you have a great week-end!**

**Please review and i love you :)**


	17. I Just Need You Now

It was so obvious that Finn wasn't there for Glee.

Quinn couldn't pretend he wasn't there, she couldn't pretend she couldn't hear him. His voice was so finely tuned to her hearing that it was impossible for her not to hear him in a crowded room. She sighed as she smoothed down the creases in her cheerios uniform and looked down. She heard the creak of the chair next to her as someone sat down on it. When she turned around, it was Sam.

He bit his lip.

She just looked away.

"Hey" he whispered, despite the fact that Quinn was pretending to text Mercedes.

"What do you want Sam?" she asked, still looking at her phone.

"I'm sorry. I know that you probably hate me right now and are really disappointed in me... but I'm sorry". He sucked in a breath, "At least we know that Finn isn't the only AB- in Lima though". She put her phone and looked at him for the first time.

"What did you just say?" she questioned.

He smiled, lifted the sleeve of his shirt and showed her a band aid on his upper left arm. Her mouth fell open, "You were Finn's blood donor" she whispered. He just smiled at her. She couldn't help but smile back. "That was really sweet of you Sam... and brave".

He shrugged, "It was my fault he's in that place anyway... it was the least I could do for him". He leant over to kiss her, she turned slightly, so it would be a kiss on the cheek, but they both knew that Sam wasn't aiming for her cheek. He put his arm around the back of her seat, but she didn't smile_._

Quinn diverted her attention from Sam, to Mike and Tina who were dancing in the middle of the room.

"Oh my god Artie!" Tina exclaimed as Brittany jumped up from her seat towards the drenched Artie. He had clumps of ice laying on her hair and shoulders and his entire upper body was covered in red dye.

"It was awful" he said, still in shock from the ordeal.

"That's it! Screw rehearsal. This ends here and now!" Puck exclaimed.

"We're gonna go all thunder dome on those guys!" Mike said, anger weaving through his usual calm voice. But they had been stopped by the rest of McKinley's football team.

"So this is what the ladies lounge looks like on the inside" Strando mused.

The football team laughed, but were cut off by Sam,"This is the choir room. Now put up your fist because you and I are gonna do some dancing".

The football team roared.

"No, I got this Sam" Puck said, placing an arm over Sam, pushing him away.

_Karofsky and Azimo are mine. _

Sam pulled Puck's arm away, glaring at his team mates.

Karofsky spoke up from behind Azimo, "Coach Beiste told us to come, where is she?".

As soon as he spoke, Coach Beiste broke through the throng of confused footballers, "Everyone take a seat" she said.

"You guys too" Mr. Shue warned them.

Mr. Shue stepped forward and took a deep breath, "Alright New Directions, let's give a warm welcome to the newest members of Glee Club".

It was almost as if someone had said that Spring Break was cancelled.

"WHAT?" different voices yelled over each other's.

She could hear Mercedes' outraged voice over the top of everyone's, "Oh hell to the naw Mr. Shue. Are you serious?". Suddenly Puck stood up, an outraged, wild glint in his eyes. Quinn was slightly scared of what he would do.

"Mr. Shue are you serious? These are the guys who put Finn in a coma!" he roared, pointing an accusing finger across the room. Karofsky shifted uncomfortably in his seat, looking at the floor.

Before Mr. Shuester could calm Puck down, Rachel spoke up, "There is NO way I am sharing a room with a known homophobe".

Mr. Shue took in another breath, "I don't disagree with you guys. But I've talked to Coach Beiste about it and she and I both agreed that the type of bullying David does is born out of ignorance". Puck glared at Karofsky, who stared back, then lowered his gaze. But Mr. Shue continued, ignoring the glares from the Glee kids to the Jocks. "As difficult as it is for us, it's an opportunity for him and the rest of the guys to show that being in Glee Club is kind of cool. Find some common ground".

Coach Beiste took the side of Mr. Shue, pointing a finger at her football team, "All of you are going to in this Glee Club for one week, no exceptions".

Karofsky's voice sounded first, "She bluffing, without us she has no team".

Coach Beiste countered back, "With you I have no team! You guys have got to find a way to come together or we're going to get out asses kicked from here till Tuesday finds a saddle back full of buckwheat!".

Lauren leaned over to Puck, whispering, "What?" followed by confused expressions from everybody's faces.

"If I have to stay, I ain't singing no showtunes. That is the music of my presence" Azimo said.

"Do you even have any idea what we do in here?" Sam asked incredulously.

"No, none of them do" Mr. Shue said, shaking his head.

He moved towards where Rachel and Puck were sitting, "Rachel, Puck, haven't you guys been working on something. Why don't you give it a whirl?" he asked.

"Fine. As offended I am by their presence here I won't let anything get in the way of a performance" she said.

As Rachel took centre stage and Puck slung his guitar on, they glared at Karofsky and Azimo.

As the piano began to play Quinn recognized the tune. _Oh God…_

_Picture perfect memories__  
__Scattered all around the floor__  
__Reaching for the phone 'cause__  
__I can't fight it anymore__  
__  
__And I wonder if I__  
__Ever cross your mind__  
__For me it happens all the time__  
_  
_It's a quarter after one__  
__I'm all alone__  
__And I need you now__  
__Said I wouldn't call__  
__But I've lost all control__  
__And I need you now_

_And I don't know how_

_I can do without_

_I just need you now_

Another shot of whiskey  
Can't stop looking at the door  
Wishing you'd come sweeping  
In the way you did before

And I wonder if I  
Ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time

_It's a quarter after one__  
__I'm a little drunk__  
__And I need you now__  
__Said I wouldn't call__  
__But I've lost all control__  
__And I need you now_

_And I don't know how_

_I can do without_

_I just need you now_

As Puck strummed the last chord he looked down at Rachel, smiling for the first time in a while. Claps erupted from the Glee kids while bored expressions were received from the Jocks. Quinn just looked down, wiping some of the tears that were gathering at the corners of her eyes.

Azimo put his hand up, "The girl with the Mohawk had a really nice voice". The Jocks laughed harder than ever.

Puck slung the guitar of his shoulder and scoffed, "Funny". For a second it seemed as if he was going to laugh it off in the "Puck" way.

Which rarely happened.

Actually, scratch that, never happened.

Then all the sudden, he turned the guitar the other way round and ran at Azimo, intending the crash him down with the guitar. The entire room went in uproar, Rachel started yelling, Mr. Shue and Coach Beiste attempted to try and take the guitar off Puck. Tina and Mike were caught in the mob. Sam was pushing Karofsky. Brittany wheeled Artie out of harms way.

But nobody seemed to see Quinn run out of the room.

* * *

Quinn didn't know why she took the box out… she never looked at it…

She couldn't bear to look at the faded pictures and just remember how happy she was with him. As she set it on the bed she already felt another wave of tears overcome her. There it was, still as black as the first time she wrote it.

_F+Q. _

She slowly lifted the cardboard lid, immediately noticing the first item on top.

_His McKinley Football t-shirt. _

She still hadn't given it back to him. She lifted the carefully folded top, grabbed it and went to the bathroom.

She stood there, for what seemed like hours, staring at her reflection.

She breathed into the fabric, tears coming forth once more as she pulled it over her head. _It still smelled so much like him._

**The alarm went off like it normally did, it's annoying, shrieking beeps breaking through the silent air. It was so early, that it looked like the world was still in the night, like the darkness was** **never going to be chased away. Quinn heard him groan slightly as he unwrapped an arm from her waist and tapped a button, silencing the piercing alarm. She felt Finn gently pull his other arm out from underneath her and head for the bathroom. A few seconds later, she heard the faucet being turned on. Soon their room was filled with the sound of water gurgling through the pipes. Quinn turned around to face the alarm. **

**_3.00am…_**

**Finn silently walked into the room, wearing just a towel around his hips. He searched through his closet, rummaging through his drawers for clothes. She carefully sat up, trying not to arouse her morning sickness, rubbing some sleep from her eyes. **

**"Morning beautiful" a voice whispered in her ear. She pulled her arms around his neck and pulled him back onto the bed, missing her by inches, the bed groaning under their combined weight. **

**"Stay…" she whispered holding on to him, running her fingers through his damp hair. **

**"Quinn, someone has to pay these doctor's bills. I mean, I can't keep going to my mom for money" he said, prying her hands from his neck, sitting up. She nodded as he got up, finding his phone and wallet, putting them in the back pocket of his jeans. **

**"Is that why you've been taking all those extra hours?" she asked, fidgeting with the quilt. **

**He turned around, "Yeah, why wouldn't that be the reason?" he questioned. **

**"…To get away from me" she said quietly.**

**For a second she thought he didn't hear her.**

**But then a look of realization came across his face, "Quinn… c'mon… I don't have time for this… the least I can do for my daughter is pay for her doctor's appointments. That is all I will be able to do for her. I don't want her to think that her dad did nothing for her and just gave her up". He sat back down on the bed, face tortured, "I can't let her think that about me" he whispered. **

**Quinn sat up and leaned to kiss his forehead. "She would never think that about you". He looked down at her and smiled. **

**He pressed his forehead against hers, "I love you" he said. **

**"I love you too" she replied. He got up and went to his closet again, not meeting Quinn's confused gaze. He got out a gray t-shirt and pulled it over her white camisole.**

** "So I'll always be with you" he said, giving her quick peck and a hug, already standing up to leave. He opened the door, looking back at her wide smile. He smiled back, closing the door.**

* * *

She never admitted it to anybody, but each morning when she woke up, her arm scraped the other side of the bed. Her brain didn't register that he wasn't there anymore. She looked down at the box again, lifting out the many photos of Finn and her. Some were faded from the days when they were in picture frames, other's were sill as vibrant as the day he took them. Then there was the drumstick with his name written on it. He had the other , he had probably thrown it out by now. But she had kept hers.

She kept everything.

She put everything carefully back into the box and slid it under her bed, making sure that other things were covering it. She sighed and lay down on the bed, crying herself to sleep.

* * *

**I told you that it was set after A Very Glee Christmas didn't I?**

**Sorry that i didn't post anything last week but i was so busy and i don't like posting things in the middle of the week. **

**Oh, and Tvmatchmaker795... you shall get your wish... very soon.**

**So... next week's chapter... hmm... All i know is that you will like it, even if it sucks and i'm a totally bad writer, you will like it. **

**As always, have a great weekend guys, please review! **

**& i love you :)**


	18. Wake Me Up

There's always the beeping.

The loud beeping.

Constant, annoying and absolutely infuriating.

Finn wished he had the strength to yell out, or move his arm. Just do anything to stop the beeping. It was almost as if someone had set an alarm clock and forgot to switch it off. _Maybe they're turning me into a carrot... _But before he could analyze his memories further, he slips back into unconsciousness, dreading when he would wake up again.

* * *

It's easier to give in to the pain instead of trying to open his eyes. When he opens them, pain explodes through his body, it's everywhere.

He can't escape it.

So that's why he kept quiet. Quiet enough to make sure the pain was numbed. But even when it's dark, and he can't hear the beeping anymore, there's still the thirst. The burning dryness at the back of his throat.

Always pain.

He wishes it would go away.

* * *

Most of the time, Finn regretted fighting a crushing darkness that was suffocating him.

He regretted a lot of things.

There were a lot of times when he just wanted to scream. But he couldn't.

He was trapped.

One time, he thoughts snakes were on his wrists, so he pulled them out, that caused more pain. He felt weaker and weaker as time went by, sometimes his mind would literally go blank.

* * *

Then he heard this angel.

Sometimes he thinks it's worth all this pain to hear her voice. The voice that was clearer than the beeping, the muttering, the ringing of a telephone somewhere.

Everything.

The weirdest thing was the angel seemed to know him. She knew his name, what he liked. She came around about the time when he would feel the bright light coming to get him. Maybe that was how the angel got in the room. The bright light would fade, then she would start talking. Everything became better when she'd start talking. It took his mind off the pain.

* * *

He heard other people talking to the angel. It made him jealous that other people got to see her. He couldn't see her, only hear her. She talked to him about her life, this douche called Sam, who was apparently her "boyfriend". Sometimes about a girl called Santana. That name sounded familiar to him. _Santana… Santana… Looopez? Oh, Santana. _Of course he knew Santana. Whipping raven hair, copper skin, eyes as dark as night. How could he forget?

* * *

Finn heard the angel's name once.

Just once.

It was Quinn.

He thought it was fitting for an angel. The name struck a chord at the back of his mind but he ignored it.

The angel started talking again, "So Puck ran at Azimo, with his guitar the upside down, about to beat the heck out him".

She heard her chuckle. He loved her laugh so much. He didn't get to hear it often though. He tried to smile at what she said. He could imagine it, though he didn't know who Puck, Azimo or Karofsky was. A tanned guy with a Mohawk came into mind for Puck, swinging a guitar at two other guys. And they both had the same jacket as he had somewhere on.

All he knew was that Puck dude was awesome.

* * *

Everything was muggy.

Everything was too hot, too humid.

Finn hated it.

But when the angel came, her voice was like a ray of light breaking through the mug.

* * *

He opened his eyes, just a crack.

He saw her for the first time. Then he remembered who she was. It came back to him like a train. Each memory hitting him harder than the previous.

He remembered waking up next to her every morning for 5 months.

He remembered watching her cry, watching her laugh.

He remembered when she would smile, he couldn't help but simile back.

He remembered when he had found out the truth about her baby.

He remembered the first night when she wasn't there in his bed, he couldn't sleep that night.

He remembered watching her pull Puck away from some girl, feeling the satisfaction of Quinn being so frustrated with Puck, compared to him.

He remembered her holding hands with Sam, kissing him.

He remembered the burning jealousy whenever they would share a smile.

He remembered her lies engulfing his heart and ripping it out of his chest, contracting around it until there was nothing in there. Just a broken, torn thing was left.

He didn't even think it resembled a heart anymore.

_All because of her._

* * *

He watched how she would stare out of the window, watching another rainstorm pelt Lima. But there she was, like a fallen angel. The shadows of the rain reflected on her face. She looked so beautiful. She was in her cheerios uniform, but her hair was out. He didn't like it when her hair was in the tight cheerios ponytail. It made her face seem more powerful, more regal. He just wanted the girl he fell in love with back.

He knew he only had a couple of seconds before the pain realized that he was awake. But he continued staring. He wasn't in his own bedroom; the beeping was a lot louder. But despite that, he found her. Then almost on cue, her head turned from the window to him. Right into his eyes.

For a brief second, Quinn Fabray was looking right at him.

He just stared, she just stared. Her mouth opened a bit.

Kurt walked in at that moment, almost immediately noticing his eyes were open. Kurt backed slowly out of the room, they still had their eyes locked.

He blinked once.

All at once the pain came back, more brutal and raw than ever. The prickling, the pangs, the thirst, the head ache, the air passing though his lungs uncomfortably, it all came back. He shut his eyes tightly, knowing that he would soon escape it all.

The last thing he saw was her.

The one thing that kept him from giving in to the darkness.

* * *

**4 words: i told you so.**

**So, please show that review button some love and click it :)**


	19. When I Look At You

He looked at her and it felt right.

It felt like Rachel never happened, like she'd never slept with Puck, like she'd never done anything to hurt him.

But cruel reality came sweeping in, making his heart shred slowly, piece by piece, as he remembered everything he did for her, all he gave up. And she'd thrown it all back into his face. He felt worthless. A baby that he cared so much for, that he loved, wasn't even his kid.

_How humiliating._

He had dreams of angels crying, endless hallways, and Karofsky and Azimo, beating every breath he had in him.

He didn't have enough strength to keep him to the ground anymore.

Not even Quinn could keep him down.

* * *

She looked at him and it felt like her heart didn't belong to Sam.

Her heart wasn't beating for the blond boy with the overly nice personality and body to die for.

It was another boy, _the _other boy.

The tall, sweet dork who managed to always make her smile. He was the thing that kept her here, but she knew he didn't feel the same for her. She had ripped his heart to shreds; she knew he wouldn't give them back to her.

But she would for him, she would do anything for him.

* * *

Sometimes she closed her eyes and pretends.

Pretends that they were still the cheerleader and the football player, still everything they once were. She had dreams of falling rose petals, corridors and him, jogging across the football field after winning and kissing her. But she knew the last one wasn't a dream. It was her merely wishing.

* * *

He looked at her, she looked back. Then as soon as it started, it was all over. He closed his eyes and fell asleep again. Then as it always did things blurred together. People became merged together, doctors in white coats, Kurt wearing a long sweater, Burt wearing a plaid shirt with worn out jeans, Carole in a beige trench coat.

They stuck more adrenaline needles into his skin, then more, then more.

Finn.

Sam.

Amber.

Red.

But she knew who she had chosen as soon as his upper body jerked forward.

_It's always been you._

* * *

**And look where we are. **

**I'm sorry this is short but the next chapter will make up for it, this is just a filler to go into the emotional side of last chapter.**

**It feels like the story is finally gone past the boring emotional stages of Quinn now he has um..._ "...his upper body jerked forward." _**

**I honestly can't say he has woken up. I can't, even though i just did, but i feel like i've ruined the entire suspension dynamic, i feel terrible. **

**Oh well, cat's out of the bag and the bag is in the river.**

**Thank you guys so much for reviewing, i forgot to say something last chapter about going past 50 reviews, to some amazing writes out there that might not be much but to me, it's amazing. Thanks :)**

**i love you all, have a great weekend.**

**& please review :)**


	20. Falling Awake

Finn felt the needle pinch in his skin.

Again and again and again.

He seriously thought that they were trying to kill him.

* * *

The needles spread more pain throughout his body, making him more alert, more focused. He finally sprung forward, his forehead nearly touching his knees. He'd never seen the room he was in so defined, usually it was a blurred mess.

Before he could say anything he felt something down his throat and gagged, trying not to puke. There were wires everywhere, in his arms, in his chest, in his mouth, in his nose. _What the hell?_

He gagged again, this time more noticeably than before. Immediately the nurses pushed him down and took the thick tube out of his throat. As soon as that tube left, he couldn't breathe.

That's when he started to freak out.

He tried to move his hands, but they were bound down to the bed. He tried to yell, but the nurse jammed a ventilator over his mouth; the kind that you saw in movies. He moved his head around the many doctors and nurses, but he couldn't see anything, just white. Blinding, overcoming white.

That's when it hit him._ I'm in hospital. _

The pain came back at that moment, even worse than when he first opened his eyes. Every single ragged breath he took was a strain, his chest seared whenever it expanded. A nurse unbuckled his restraints, as soon as the blood came back, more pain.

He shifted his leg. Pain.

His head throbbed. Pain.

His throat was unbearably dry. Pain.

He turned to his side. Pain.

He twitched his finger. Pain.

It ruled his mind. He wished he had stayed asleep. Wished he had stayed in the blackness of his mind. Stayed where the pain couldn't reach him.

It was too much. Way too much.

* * *

Finn's first night at Lima Memorial was a far cry from happy. The doctor came in and gave him this huge speech about his injuries. His leg was in a splint, though to Finn's happiness, they were taking it off in a couple days. One of his arms was in a brace, but that was going to be taken off tomorrow, which only increased Finn's good mood. Then the doctor told him something which made his mood plummet.

"You've developed Bradychardia, it means that your heart performs slower than usual. So that means no high performance sports like football, basketball, track… anything like that".

Something rose to the surface of Finn's mind, something that he needed to remember, he tried to think of what it was, it was important, he knew that.

"The championship game..." Finn whispered, still not grasping what it meant.

The doctor raised his eyebrows, "What championship?".

"Conference", Finn replied, still trying to make sense of what this game meant and why it felt so important.

The doctor made an impressed face, or what Finn thought looked impressed, "What position do you play?".

"Quarterback" Finn replied, furrowing his brow, trying to sift through his memories.

"Well, you can't play in that game. Unless your condition goes away", doctor said, completely unsympathetic.

_Who does this guy think he is? He just waltzes in with this stupid face and tells me I can't play in my championship game?_

"The hell I'm not" Finn backchatted, completely pissed off.

"Unless you want to end up back in here…" he said, gesturing around the room. Finn just looked down.

Noticing Finn's expression the doctor asked, "Do you want me to bring in your parents?".

Finn's eyes trailed to the door ,then he shook his head, "No" he said simply, trying to remember football. The doctor nodded and walked out.

* * *

_No football. No basketball. No track. Sport's the only thing I'm good at. _He ran his hand over his hair, _What am I going to do? _A nurse came in at the point and fiddled with his I.V. He sighed, only to be met with the burning pain in his chest. Involuntarily, he groaned.

The nurse looked over and said, "I'm sorry Mr. Hudson but I can't give you any medication unless you go unconscious again". She smiled sadly and walked off. _It's Finn _he thought bitterly.

While he was laying in his room he became aware of just how stiff he was. Stiff and painful. He tried to move a couple times but it only increased the pain he was in, so much so, that he didn't even realize that he had tears running down his face.

He wiped them away angrily.

* * *

An hour or two later his time alone was up. His mom and Burt came in slowly. Before they could go over towards the bed the doctor stopped them and pulled them behind the curtain.

He heard the doctor whisper, "Just be careful what you say to him, he may be aggressive, some anger problems". _Anger problems? Screw you. _

"You know I'm right here", he said resentfully, "I can hear you". The doctor simply walked away, leaving an awkward silence in the room. His mom and Burt stepped out from behind the mint curtain. He knew his mom was going to cry, Burt pulled an arm around her. He didn't know why but it just aggravated him more,"I'm stuck in a bed, but I'm not mute".

His mom rushed over to him, "I know honey, I know. It's just weird seeing you awake again". Finn merely nodded, anger diminished slightly. Then he started crying, he didn't know why. Maybe the pain he was in was finally getting to him.

"I just want it to stop mom. Please, just make it stop" he whispered.

But it didn't stop.

Not for the entire night.

* * *

**i cringed when i re-read this... sorry.**

**review?**


	21. Leatherbands, Angels & Circles

Puck stood there, for what seemed like hours, maybe even a day.

He just stood there, watching, waiting for any signs of life. That was a lie, he knew Finn was there, behind the plaster and the paint. His eyes moved to the brass numbers nailed to the door, he wondered if they had been burned into his mind. He made a move towards the door, placing his slightly sweaty palm against the cool metal doorknob. His stomach clenched nervously as he pulled the door open. He peeked behind the mint curtain seeing Finn, awake.

Finn's eyes weren't closed, his face wasn't as pale as the sheets around him, he was awake. Puck's face split into a smile as his saw Finn fiddling with a leatherband, a band that was missing from the lamp on the bedside table. Puck pulled the curtain back slightly, only to hear the plastic rings scrape against the metal railing on the ceiling. Finn's head snapped towards his figure.

Puck bit his lip, "Hey" he said weakly.

Finn placed the cord down, staring at it intently. "Hey" he whispered back, his voice hoarse and scratchy from not being used in weeks.

"How are you doing?" Puck asked, uncertain from the tension in the room.

Finn scoffed, "Fantastic, never better". Puck flinched, not because of Finn's words, but because of the way he said this. Finn was never the sarcastic one, he never scoffed, he wasn't bitter.

He wasn't Puck.

"Look, I know it was stupid but what do you want me to say man?" Puck said, half-angry, half-dejected.

Finn looked down, "I'm sorry, I'm just... not feeling great".

"What? C'mon you're looking... great, buff... manly..." Puck said, putting on a voice that wasn't his own.

Finn suppressed a smile, "Yeah, well... what can I say? I'm Finn Hudson" he replied in a equally off voice.

Puck started chuckling, "I mean, look at me, thin, long, lanky...virgin, I can't hope to compete with you" he said, flexing his muscles. Finn couldn't help but burst out laughing and soon enough after, Puck joined in. After the laughter died down, an awkward silence settled upon the room.

Puck looked down at his hands, "Don't ever do that again man" he whispered.

Finn's eyebrows pulled together, "Do what?".

"Don't play dumb with me Hudson. I know you too well for that. What were you thinking? Going after Karofsky? Seriously, I know you're good, but when it's two on one. No go. Did you ever listen to what I told you?" He almost yelled.

Finn just laughed.

"Dude!" Puck almost yelled.

Finn's face immediately fell, replaced by an expression by a kid being told off by a parent. "He deserved every bit of it" He whispered, as if in his defense.

"I know man, but it's Karofsky and Azimo, those guys aren't exactly what I'd call... light" Puck said, keeping a straight face. Finn chuckled, looking bitterly at the wires in his wrist."I have something for you. It might make you feel better… I dunno".

"Is it water?" Finn asked hopefully.

Puck sighed, "I can't man. It'll screw up your I.V thing". Finn's face fell again as he leant back on his pillow. Puck reached down to unzip his backpack and pulled out a slightly faded t-shirt.

Finn's eyes widened, "The t-shirt from Lima Carnival? You washed it?".

Puck smiled, "Yeah".

He handed it to Finn who gladly accepted it. "You're right… it's gotta be huge on you".

Puck smirked, "I told yo- You heard me?".

Finn just smiled.

Puck's mouth opened, "You tell anybody what I said and I will personally make sure that when you're sleeping, you'll be smothered by a pillow".

Finn burst out laughing, "Death by pillow it shall be". Then Finn's face grew serious, "Did you... mean it?" he asked.

"Every word" Puck whispered. Finn smiled and held his hand out for a fist pound. Puck grinned back and lightly punched Finn's hand.

* * *

Quinn watched him as he slept, hoping, praying, that he would be able to wake up again. That's why her head immediately snapped up when she heard his breathing becoming heavier, when his eye's began to scrunch up: when he was having a bad dream. She had been through this before, but only once.

**Heavy breathing, panting almost. **

**Suddenly, the sheets ripped off her body and fell to the floor. Quinn jolted awake, next to Finn's thrashing form. **

**"Finn..." she whispered, voice still heavy from sleep. **

**He didn't respond. **

**"Finn" she said more forcefully, though still quiet as she softly kissed the tension between his eyebrows. He still didn't wake up. His eyebrows scrunched up again as she shook him slightly. He jolted awake, beads of cold sweat slowly wiggling down his pale face. He took a deep breath as his face crumpled and turned onto his side, facing away from Quinn. She hadn't seen Finn cry a lot of times, but she knew when he did, it was serious.****"Finn, what's wrong?" she asked, pulling the blankets over her and Finn again. He didn't answer, only shifted onto his stomach and pulled his pillow over his head. She bit her lip as she lay down, coming face to face with him. He moved his arm in front of his face, shielding Quinn from view. "Finn, c'mon" she said, her eyebrows creasing with worry. **

**He sighed and shifted onto his back, "The baby" he whispered, "It's always the baby". ****She snuggled closer to him, ignoring the guilt and started tracing lines on his chest. He put an arm around her, "I- I held her... at the hospital. She was... perfect. Then they took her away, they took her away from me and I never saw her again", he whispered. He sighed again as a single tear ran down his face. **

**"It won't be like that" she choked out, her voice cracking, "we'll have a day, maybe two with her, it'll be different, we'll say goodbye properly". She willed herself to believe that, even though she knew that it wouldn't be the bittersweet goodbye that she hoped it would be, it would just be bitter. **

**Painful. **

**Destroying. **

**It would hurt. **

**_Badly. _**

**"Quinn- I didn't mean to- forget it, it was just a dream right? Let's just... go to sleep" he whispered as he tightened his hold around her body. She nodded, the last of their tears fading away as they fell asleep in each other's arms.**

* * *

Without thinking she shook him awake, immediately regretting it when she saw the look of pure agony on his face. His eyes fluttered for a few seconds before remaining open.

"Hi" she whispered. His eyes focused onto hers.

"Hey" he whispered back, voice slightly muffled by his ventilator. His face contorted into pain again, the guilt sweeping through her easily.

"Sorry for waking you" she said, hating that their first meeting was like this.

He closed his eyes, "S'kay" he said, still groggy from his nap. She sat down in the musty seat closest to the bed.

She looked down shyly, "What was your nightmare about?" she asked.

His eyes opened slowly, looking at the bright ceiling. He sighed, wincing slightly, "You'll think it's stupid" he breathed.

She shook her head, "No I won't".

He smiled slightly at this, eyes moving from the ceiling to hers. "I was walking home from work… there was this girl on the ground crying, she looked like an angel… I asked if she was alright, but she didn't answer… then Karofsky and Azimo came out of nowhere and called her a whore… I told them off… then they stabbed me".

She smiled halfheartedly, "It was just a dream" she reassured him. He nodded, "It felt so real though". Quinn gently placed her hand over his, she knew she was overstepping her boundaries… but this, with him, didn't feel wrong.

It felt right.

His voice broke through the quiet, "What are you doing here Quinn?".

She looked away, "I know what the fight was about Finn" she whispered. As soon as she said it, she knew that he had not been expecting that, there was a flash of vulnerability before he recollected himself.

"What was it about then?" he questioned, slight anger to his voice.

She scoffed, completely hurt by his words and walked towards the door. She stopped though, hand on the doorknob, a tear running down he porcelain face. "Just tell me the truth… Was it about me?" she whispered, turning around to face him.

He bit his lip, looking down, fiddling with a leatherband around his wrist. He opened his mouth then shut it, trying to figure out what to say. "What would you say if I say yes?" he asked, looking back up at her.

She released her hand on the doorknob and walked back into the room half-way between Finn and the door. "I would say you're an idiot" she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

He rested his head back onto the pillow and looked up at the ceiling again. "Name one day when someone hasn't called me an idiot" he said bitterly.

She walked towards him, a smile on her face. "There's a difference when I say it though, you're my idiot" she said, moving closer.

It only took a couple of seconds to realize what Quinn had just said... and how close they were to each other.

He looked at her, she looked at him.

The same longing screaming in their eyes.

She leant in closer, her breath tickling his neck and gave him a gentle peck on the cheek and left.

* * *

As she lay in her bed that night, missing Finn's body next to hers, missing his arms around her, Quinn felt as if Finn and her were a circle. A never ending loop. They kept going around in this creepy ring: falling in love, breaking up, missing each other. Then the cycle started again. Over and over like a tape.

Fact is she didn't hate it.

* * *

**Hi everybody! (hi !) **

**okay, bad joke i know. God, i've missed you guys so much, i've missed writing and typing and excessive long nights... it's almost 3 in the morning just to let you know. **

**It took me so long to edit this chapter. As you have noticed by my absence... at least i hope you have.**

**Forgive me if there are any typos, it's late... or early? whichever.**

**i love you guys, thanks for reading this and if you have have been reading this since the first chapter, kudos (cudos?) to you :)**

**it wouldn't hurt if you pushed that review button down there, but hey, no pressure.**

**P.S Happy canada day to all my canadian readers, yes you guys which the sexy accents ;)(was it canada day? i don't know, i live underneath a rock. a soundproof one.) **

**alrightie then, i'm going... made this awkward enough... um, nite... or morning or whatever time zone you're in right now. **

**_it's three am and i must be lonely_... yeah... i'm going now.**


	22. Stay In The Moment

**He'd been looking for her all day, all over the entire school.**

**And she was at her locker.**

**_Why didn't I think to look there? _**

**"Quinn!" he called. She closed her locker, fresh tear tracks clearly visible. If Finn knew one thing, Quinn Fabray never cried. And he would beat up the person who did this. "Quinn?" he called again.**

**Still no answer.**

**She walked off, binders and books clutched tightly to her torso. _Did I do something wrong? _"Hey, what's with the silent treatment?" he said after her. She stopped at the glass trophy case, an anxious expression on her face. He walked faster towards her, utterly confused, "Whatever I did… I'm sorry" he said. **

**"I'm pregnant" she whispered. **

**Finn stood there in complete shock. Her words became fuzzy and drowned out, all her could hear was the gradually increasing pace of his heart.**

**He felt like puking.**

**"Mine?" he asked slowly, pointing a finger at his chest. _This is not happening… this is not happening… This is so not happening… _**

**"Yes you, who else's would it be?" she said. **

**Finn's breathing quickened, "But we-we never had-" he said before he was interrupted by Quinn, "Last month? Hot tub?". **

**His mind flashed to when he'd came in her hot tub. "But we were wearing our swimsuits" he said in disbelief. **

**"Ask Jeeves said that a hot tub is the perfect temperature for sperm… it helps it… swim faster" Quinn confirmed. **

**That's when Finn completely freaked out, "Oh my god… oh my god… oh my god… wait- are-are you gonna get a-". But he already knew the answer. Quinn didn't want to have a baby as much as he did but she was brought up in a strict Christian family. She wouldn't… no, couldn't get an abortion. **

**She shook her head, "No". Her face crumpled up like she was going to cry again, "I really thought I had a shot at getting out of here". She leaned towards him and he put his arms around her, still looking at the spot where she was standing 2 seconds ago.**

**Her words still echoing inside his head.**

"Finn..." a voice called out from far away. _No.. Let me sleep… _"Finn baby, wake up. The doctor's here". _Urgh… Here we go again. _Finn reluctantly opened his eyes, pressing the palm of his hand to the back of his head, which was currently throbbing. He took a breath in while his chest gave a fierce pang. He winced, moving his hand through his hair. As the room refocused, he noticed that the only people in the room were his doctor and his mom. He let out a quiet moan. His mom put her hand over his.

"Hey Finn, how are ya?" a voice said cheerily.

_Woah. What? Dr. Sanders would never be so… happy. _The doctor finally turned around, reading a clipboard.

"You're not my doctor…" Finn said slowly as he noted the absence of glasses and white hair.

The man looked up, "Hmm? Oh yea, we've had a transference of patients so now I get to take care you. I'm Dr. Collins" he said, smiling, holding out his hand. Finn gladly shook Dr. Collins hand. _Better than Dr Sanders. _"So… I've been told that you've been having some bad head pains?" he questioned, picking up the note pad again and going through it.

"Um… Yea" Finn said, still disorientated from his earlier nap.

Dr. Collins nodded, "Okay, well, I'll book you in for a MRI to see what's going on okay?" he said, as if talking to a small child. Finn smiled, _Finally, someone's doing something. _"Oh and I'll get some painkillers for your ribs" he added.

Finn's grinned widened, "Thanks" he said. The doctors smiled back at him and left, leaving Finn in a considerably better mood.

* * *

Finn looked around the white machine nervously.

Despite being told not to move he couldn't help but to take deep breaths, just in case the oxygen went out. He had been in this situation many times before, except it was on xBox. He jumped slightly when the machine started to make a quiet humming noise.

He hated being alone.

Usually there was someone always there with him. Mostly his mom, but there was someone always there. When he was alone, he could feel the pain more, he could think more. He didn't want either. He closed his eyes, letting his mind come loose, chasing the buzzing from his mind.

**He saw the seconds in the game change from an 11 to a 10… his heart beating loudly in his chest. He couldn't hear anybody anymore. Just his heart again. He leant down behind a team mate, ready to catch the ball.**

**He looked to the side and saw Quinn, looking at him with an anxious smile.**

**His heart beat faster when he saw Kurt's frustrated expression.**

**The time ticked down, 4 seconds.**

**He saw Mr. Shue in the stands, letting out an aggravated breath.**

**Quinn flashed back in his mind, and their baby. _His Baby… _**

**3 seconds.**

**Coach Tanaka, ready to break his clipboard in irritation.**

**The big defense lineman, looking as if he was ready to snap his neck.**

**His breath got faster and he finally called, "Time out!" making the t sign with his hands.**

**The crowd let out an outraged "boo" as the clock stopped at 1.**

**He snuck a look back at Quinn, _I'm doing this for the both of you._**

* * *

"Hey Finn" Dr. Collins whispered, "Wakey, wakey". He opened his eyes hesitantly to find himself back in his hospital room.

"How long have I been out?" he said groggily.

The doctor focused his attention from Finn's mom back to Finn. "About a day son. You fell asleep during your scan" he said. Finn nodded as he leaned his head back on the pillow. His mom walked up to his bed, his eyes widened when he saw tear tracks on her face.

"Mom, what's wrong?" he asked. She bit her lip, casting an uncertain glance at Dr. Collins.

She grabbed his hand, "Honey, they've found something wrong with your head" she said slowly.

"What do you mean?" he asked, confused.

"Honey, you're brain has bleeding for about 2 days and the doctors need to stitch it up" his mom said, still holding his hand.

Dr. Collins stepped forward, "We're going to put you in surgery tomorrow".

_Surgery. _Finn's heart stopped for a second. He knew what head surgery meant. It meant whatever was bleeding was bad. Really bad.

His heart started to quicken.

Cold sweat formed on his hands.

"Honey everything's going to be fine" a voice murmured.

He knew this feeling.

The feeling whenever he just wanted to run away.

It was the feeling of being completely terrified.

* * *

"Do you think he's awake?" Sam whispered.

"Sam, he's obviously sleeping" Santana said in a low voice.

"Guys shut up. You'll wake him" Mercedes said threateningly.

"Mercedes, don't worry. My dads said that people who come out of a coma are always tired. Even though they've technically been in a deep sleep for weeks" Rachel's voice chimed.

"Put a sock in it Berry!" Santana hissed.

"Puck, when does he wake up again?" Mr. Shue murmured.

"Don't know Mr. Shue. Though he'll probably wake up soon, with all the racket these guys are making" Puck said resentfully.

"Someone should get a fairy to wake him up" Brittany said.

"No Brit" Tina said in an undertone.

"Can you guys shut up? I'm trying to sleep" Finn said irritated.

"You're awake!" Mr. Shue said brightly.

Finn finally opened his eyes to see the whole Glee Club standing there in his hospital room. "Woah. You're all here?" he said in amazement, a smile forming on his face.

"Yeah, we're here. We wanted to make sure you saw us before your surgery" Lauren said, snaking on a twizzler.

Finn's face fell for a second. _Surgery's today. _But he shook his head a nd smiled again.

But his frown was not unseen, "Aw, you'll be fine brah. I looked into it. Takes about 3 weeks to heal" Artie said. Finn's nerves lessened slightly. He pushed them at the back of his mind, enjoying the time he had left with the Glee Club.

* * *

_30 minutes to go… _Finn thought, looking at the clock on his bedside table as the Glee Club left.

He heard the door open again, but didn't even bother to see who'd came in. "Hey honey" his mom called.

He turned his head towards her."Hey mom".

She smiled at him as she sat down, "How are you feeling?". He looked away, biting back a sarcastic response, tired of people always asking him. She sighed, "Sweetie you seem so angry all the time. It's not like you. At all".

He didn't know whether to tell the truth. Telling the truth meant he had to go into it, which he didn't want. But he didn't want to lie.

"The doctor said I won't be able to play sports again" he flatly.

She scoffed, "He doesn't know that".

"Yes he does" he replied bitterly.

His mom just stayed quiet, knowing that she couldn't reason with him. He sighed, completely defeated, "It's the only thing I'm good at mom. The one thing that I can do which gives me a real shot at getting out of here. Now that's gone… I don't want to be stuck here".

Carole smiled, grabbing Finn's chin, forcing him to look at her, "I see you playing sports for the rest of your life Finn Hudson… You're going to get out of here and you're going to be fine".

He wished he could believe her.

* * *

_15 minutes… _Finn noted as he glanced back at his clock, the unease growing with every passing second.

"Hey man" Puck said out of nowhere.

Finn faked a smile, "Hey".

Puck grinned back and sat down, "Dude, you better make sure you get your ass better for the championship game in 5 weeks". Finn's smile faded as he realized that he'd have to tell everyone that he couldn't play football anymore.

"Puck... I can't play in that game" he said, determined to stare down at his hands.

"Yeah you can" Puck replied smoothly. "

The doctor said I can't play football" Finn said quietly.

Puck eyes widened, "Ever?". Finn just nodded. "Yes you can" Puck said confidently.

"No I can't!" Finn retorted.

Puck stood up, "They also said that Artie would never play football or lose his fucking virginity, but he still did!" he almost yelled.

Finn looked down, "It's not the same thing" he said, eyes completely saying it all, _I. Give. Up. _Puck hated this. Watching his best friend listen to some crackhead who thought he knew everything.

"Like hell it isn't" he flung back scathingly. Finn just looked outside the window, watching as a light drizzle started up. Puck just stood there in amazement, "You've given up. I can't believe this… Finn Hudson… giving up". Finn shifted uneasily, "I give up things all the time".

Puck scoffed, "No, you don't. You haven't given up Spanish even though you suck at it" he eased.

"Th-" Finn said before he was cut off.

"You never gave up on the football team even though we were shit".

"But-" Finn tried, but was interrupted by Puck again.

Puck sat down, anger gone, "And you never gave up on Quinn" he finished quietly. He saw the weakness flash in Finn's eyes for about 2 seconds.

"What? What does that have to do with anything?" he exclaimed.

Puck raised his eyebrows, "It has to do with everything!" he said.

Finn just scoffed and looked at the window again, watching the rain pelt harder against the window. "Whatever man" he said quietly.

Puck sighed, "Finn remember when we first met?".

Finn smiled slightly_, How could I forget? _

**Finn loved Spring. **

**It was simple, he didn't understand why everyone loved Summer instead of Spring. He especially liked going to the local park with his mom. **

**His mom was sitting at the picnic table, talking to a couple of friends while Finn raced other kids to a tree and back. Of course, Finn won every time. Mainly due to the fact that he had long legs and seemed to be… built for it. He turned his head to the side, seeing a small tanned boy about his age with an older guy playing with a football. Finn immediately felt the jealous of this little kid. Here that boy was, flaunting the relationship he had with his dad. And they were playing football! Finn loved football more than anything… well besides his mom. Finn shrugged and turned his back on the pair, heading back towards the other group of kids he was racing a few minutes ago. After a game of tag, they stopped for a moment, catching their breath. Finn lifted his hands from his knees, seeing the football shooting straight at him. He didn't know how he did it, it just seemed so simple. Just imagine where the ball is going to land, race to that spot, and catch it. He didn't realize he was running when his almost cool expression slipped when he caught the ball as it slapped painfully against his small hands.**

**It seemed as if the park went quiet.**

**His mom and her friends just stared at him with opened mouths, the kids he was playing with shared murmured, "Woahs" and the father and son duo who owned the ball looked as if they'd seen an alien or something. Everybody seemed so surprised. Who'd have thought that lanky, clumsy Finn Hudson would catch a pass like that? Finn looked down at the football in his hands, whatever he had just done, he wanted to keep on doing it. He looked straight ahead to find the tanned kid right in front of him. **

**"How did you do that" he whispered. **

**Finn made a confused face, "Do what?". **

**"Catch it" the boy said, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. **

**"I dunno. I just thought where it was going to land and I ran there, jumped… then caught it" Finn said, handing the other boy the ball. The kid accepted the ball and tucked it under his arm, **

**"My name's Noah" he said quietly.**

** Finn smiled, "Mine's Finn". **

**Noah smiled, "You wanna play with me and my uncle?". **

**Finn grinned back, "Sure".**

**A couple minutes later Noah's uncle was watching them throw passes to each other. **

**"So, where's your Dad?" Finn asked. **

**Noah caught the ball, looking down at it, "He left a while ago". **

**Finn's jealousy stopped. "Sorry" he said. Noah shrugged and threw the ball back at Finn. **

**"My Dad's gone too" Finn said. **

**Noah looked up, "I'm sorry as well". **

**Finn smiled at him as he tucked the football under his arm, "Wanna come to my house later?". **

**Puck grinned widely at him, "Sure!". **

**Finn laughed, "Cool".**

Puck's voice spun him back to reality, "You caught that football when you were 5. Which by the way, was a pretty hard pass… You're going to play football again. That's all I know…" Puck said. He stood up and ruffled Finn's hair. "See you later dude".

"See ya" Finn replied quietly.

Then Puck left. And Finn was all alone again.

Or so he'd thought.

* * *

Quinn came into the quiet room, watching Finn breathe in and out nervously.

"Hi" she said. He looked at her, smiling slightly.

"Hey" he said back.

Quinn glanced at the clock on the bedside table. "How long?" she asked as she sat down.

He sighed and whispered, "5 minutes".

She smiled as she wiped some of his hair back. "You're going to be fine Finn" she reassured.

His fake smile faded, "I don't know about that one".

She cupped a hand around his face, the electric charge sparking her as they touched. "Look at me", she whispered, "You are the strongest person I know. Remember that". His hand snaked up and placed his hand over hers, closing his eyes. She didn't know why she kept doing this, she's technically still with Sam, so this is considered cheating right? _Right Quinn? _But she didn't care, his eyes opened and they felt like nothing had changed. They felt like he was just leaving for work, and they were saying goodbye. They felt as if they were back in his room, kissing, touching.

They felt as if they belonged together, like two puzzle pieces.

Her lips moved closer to their destination, her eyes closing out of habit.

For a second, their lips touched.

For a second, everything faded away, leaving the two lovers alone together.

But again, brutal reality filled the picture as a nurse walked in. Quinn quickly pulled away, her eyes screaming at him,

_I'll be waiting for you. _

* * *

Dr. Collins cleared his throat as Finn was moved onto the operating table. "Okay Finn. I'm going to need you to count to 10 okay?" the doctor said. Finn nodded and the nurses put a ventilator over his mouth.

_1… _**The crowd was roaring.**

_2… _**His heart was pumping.**

_3… _**His breath easily going in and out of his lungs.**

He only remembered getting to 4 before his hand fell from his chest to the table.

**He patted the little gay guy Kurt on the back. Two guys lifted Kurt on their shoulders as Finn took off his helmet. On the side lines, the other players were going wild while Coach Tanaka put his hands behind his head in amazement, clipboard dropping in the process. Finn watched as the score boards number changed from a 6 to a 7, meaning the McKinley Titans won their first game of the season.**

**Of course, everyone knew the _sophomore _Finn Hudson, who had claimed his quarterback position when he was merely a freshman, wasn't a bad player. In fact, he was actually one of the best they'd ever had. They just had a really bad defense team.**

**But it didn't matter to the fans at the moment. I mean, they had just won the game!**

**But everyone didn't seem to see their quarterback creep towards where the cheerleaders were. He walked slowly, watching as she lifted her pompoms in the air. She turned around, a wide smile on her face.**

**_She looks amazing _he thought.**

**She put her hands on his neck, pulling him towards her. He responded, putting an arm around her waist, lifting her slightly. Her mouth mashed into his, as her hand fell from his neck to his chest.**

**Right over his heart.**

**All Finn Hudson knew was that it didn't matter if he was the goofy quarterback.**

**It didn't matter if his girlfriend was the captain of the cheerleading squad.**

**It didn't matter if they were a cliché.**

**It didn't matter if he heard a couple of wolf whistles from the crowd.**

**All he wanted was to keep kissing her.**

**To always have her hand over his heart.**

**To always be the one to put that smile on her face.**

**To always stay in this moment.**

* * *

**The first time he got knocked down, she felt like this was God's way of punishing her. She saw him get clashed to the ground, the heavy set opposition landing on top of him easily. For a second he just didn't get back up. It took every fiber of her being not to rush out there.**

**The second time was harder. He got knocked down, then a offence landed on top of his chest. She couldn't see what happened, but by this point she was sure this was purgatory.**

**The third time he actually ran a little bit, but then the same linebacker came and pushed him down again.**

**She knew that they had lost the game.**

**It was 14 seconds to go and they hadn't scored any points. She watched him intently, as she always did, looking out for any tell tale signs that he was hurt. But he seemed to be okay, he wasn't limping at least. He licked his fingers and walked towards a team mate, ready to intercept the ball.**

**For a moment, Quinn thought that he was looking straight at her. There was that look that he gave her sometimes.**

**The look that he would do anything for her.**

"Quinn…?" Kurt said.

Quinn's eyes fluttered open, her neck aching as she lifted it. She rubbed her neck, expression softening when she saw Finn being wheeled into his room. It felt exactly like the first time she came in and saw him. She felt helpless… lost… completely terrified.

When she stepped inside the room again, she held Kurt's hand tighter. The back part of his hair had been shaven off and a white swab was held by surgical tape. Puck stepped out from behind Quinn and Kurt, and sat down in the closest seat.

"Hey man" he whispered.

They all saw Finn's chest rise higher, "Hey" he breathed.

"You're looking good" Puck said, trying to lighten the situation.

The corner's of Finn's mouth twitched as he asked, "Nah. Can you get me some water or something?".

Puck nodded and mumbled, "Sure". Kurt followed after him, "Puck! Ice-chips not water!".

She sat down in Puck's place and stared at him. Watching how he would breathe slowly, how his hand would twitch.

"Hi" she said.

"Hey" he murmured.

She swallowed past the lump in her throat as she asked, "How are you feeling?".

He sighed, "Really confused… and tired… and thirsty. I feel like turning around and crying into my pillow" he whispered, face crumpling a bit. Before she could say anything the nurse came in with a drug to help him fall asleep. "No… 5 more minutes, I'm fine" he pleaded, but the nurse had already put the drug in his system. She bit her lip, moving in closer to his ear. Looking around hesitantly, thinking that he was asleep and wouldn't hear her anyway, she whispered, "Each night, I cry myself to sleep. But I say I'm strong because I've gone one more day without you".

A smile appeared on Finn's face as he turned onto his side, looking at the silver cross left on the nightstand.

* * *

**Hey Guys!**

**New chapter, sorry for the irregularity but i'm really lazy. **

**And tired. **

**This chapter was surprisingly easy to write, meaning that it is probably terrible, i've suffered the worst writer's block imaginable. Seriously, all i've done is just stare at my screen. Then i get bored and go onto tumblr and laugh my ass off for a bit then i open the word thingy again and just sigh. **

**Hope you've guys have a great weekend, and i love you guys, all the best.**


	23. Never Let Me Go

_It's hard to pretend to love somebody. But it's even harder to pretend that you don't love someone when you really do._

* * *

She cried until there was no more water left inside her.

She cried and cried, until it seemed that the world would drown in her tears.

She cried for the almost kiss, she cried for her new relationship with him, gone, before it even had a chance to breathe, destroyed in simple seconds, because of her own selfishness.

She buried herself under her pillows, hoping they would somehow suffocate her and relieve her of the pain.

* * *

"_Quinn, it's me… Finn. Look can you come by to the hospital; I wanna talk... about what happened"_

"_Quinn, I know you're there… Just answer your phone"_

"_Quinn, it's me…. Again. C'mon, I just need to talk to you"_

"_Quinn… Pick up"_

"_Quinn, listen I just want to talk, that's it"_

"_Quinn… please"_

"_Look if you worried about me telling Sam, I won't tell him, promise"_

"_We kissed, okay? It happened"_

"_Please Quinn"_

"_Quinn... Call me"_

She sat on her bed, eyeing her phone, hoping that he wouldn't call again. The more he called the more desperate he seemed, if he called one more time she knew she would break, she would see him.

And she couldn't have that.

She couldn't go through more rejection, more hurt, more heartbreak.

It would kill her.

She still didn't understand how he could still have this pull on her. How one boy, in the midst of many others had stolen her heart and kept it in a safe, so no one else could ever touch it like he had.

* * *

Quinn tossed to one side of her bed, forcing herself not to look at her phone. Forcing herself not to flip open the device and read through all the desperate messages from Finn. She tossed to the other side, eye's opening immediately when her phone started to vibrate on the carpet. She bit her lip as she tried to stop her hand from reaching towards her cell. She shut her eyes tighter as she felt the cold metal inside her fist. She flipped open her phone and looked at her new message. She ran her fingers through her hair, wondering how one person can feel so much, but never express any of it. She took in a deep breath, not even thinking when she threw on an oversized t-shirt and some jeans, when she tied her hair into a messy pony tail, when she crept through her silent home, wincing every now and then when one of the floorboards made a slight creak. When she made her way into her car, she took a look at herself in the mirror, seeing Finn's face reflected in her eyes, remembering his last message.

_I'm sorry. _

_I just hope I'll find someone exactly like you one day. _

* * *

Quinn watched him for a bit.

He wasn't doing anything particularly interesting, just checking his phone, laying down, closing his eyes for a few seconds before opening them again and letting out a sigh. She took a deep breath, walking into the room, biting her lip. She knew Finn saw her walk in, but he pretended not to notice, taking out his phone again. Quinn had been in many confrontations before. Some were awkward, other's tense, but right now, she thought that she'd never heard silence as loud as this. He sat up, finally turning to look at her. She straightened up, not being able to cover her shock fast enough as she saw he was in his McKinley hoodie and sweats.

He smiled slightly at her, "Hey" he said.

She stepped closer to him, daring to sit on the edge of his bed. "Hi" she replied.

He smiled to himself, "So. How did you manage to get in here? Visitor's hours ended like at 8. You're 3 hours late".

"It's actually not too hard" Quinn said, smiling back at him.

His smile stayed on his face as he asked, "Do you want some food? I think Puck left some pizza here".

She sighed, looking down, "What are we doing Finn?".

He scrunched his eyebrows together, "Talking…?" he said slowly.

Quinn got off his bed, turning away from him, not wanting to seem weak if she cried in front of him. "I'm mean, you wanted to talk. And we're talking. But nobody's actually saying anything" she choked out.

Finn spoke from behind her, "What do you want me to say Quinn? I'm sorry? I didn't mean to? Because we both know I can't lie".

Quinn spun around, "And you don't think I'm not feeling everything you're feeling right now?".

"No", Finn whispered, "I know you do".

She scoffed, tears falling from her overflowing eyelids, "Oh really? How?".

"Because I heard you!" he admitted, voice low and weak.

Quinn looked up to him, noticing he was standing right in front of her, "What?" she whispered.

He reached down to wipe the tears running down her face, "I heard you talking to me, asking me why I jumped Karofsky, telling me you were sorry, that I shouldn't have done it, that Sam reminded you of me. I tried reaching out to you so many times Quinn. I tried holding your hand, talking to you. Nothing worked, I-".

"Finn stop! I can't do this… with-with you. I'm with S-s-sam, aren't I?" she begged as she started to sob.

"Are you though Quinn, are you his?" he asked, putting his arms around her shaking body.

"Yes!" she insisted, "Yes" she said again, although it sounded more like she was trying to convince herself then Finn.

Finn pulled away from her, "Where does that leave us? What are we?" he questioned, a defeated glint in his eye. Quinn shook her head, "Maybe… just nothing, for a while at least, until we figure everything out" she whispered. He moved away from her, making his way towards the bed. He left her standing there, in the centre of the room, her sobs racking through her body.

She couldn't do it.

She couldn't pretend to stand there.

She couldn't bear to be nothing to him, to be merely invisible, to spend all her life loving him, and they'd never return those feelings.

"Why do you make it so hard to get over you?" she screamed out in a torn voice. He sat up, wrapping his arms around her slender frame, pulling her into his chest. He placed a soft kiss on her head, laying down with her, placing the hospital sheets around her body, still fully clothed. "Why do you make it so hard to forget you?" he whispered in her ear. After a while she stopped crying, finally realizing that she was in his bed.

That his arms were around her.

That her head fit perfectly under his chin.

He looked down at her, wiping one remaining tear off her cheek. She leant in closer, his droopy eyes widening slightly.

She just wanted to feel his lips on hers again.

She just wanted to pretend, just for a minute that they were together. His lips worked against hers, his hand brushing her honey blond hair behind her ear, then moving back down, cupping her face. After what seemed like seconds, but in reality were minutes. Quinn pulled away, lifting the sheets off herself.

She couldn't be a cheater.

As much as she wanted too, it wasn't right. And she knew Finn knew that too. She gave one last glance at him, her hair slightly tousled, her ballet flats in her hand, his face mournful.

"Stay with me" he whispered.

A tear fell out of her eye as she pulled the covers back over herself, laying her head on his chest, listening to the dripping of his I.V, the sound of his heart beating, the air passing through his lungs.

She felt his arms pull her closer.

She felt his breath on the tip of her head.

She felt Finn Hudson in her arms again.

She never wanted to let go.

* * *

**Dude. Fuck me. I'm dead. Break's almost over and it's... 4 in the morning. I'm just going into depressed mode. I'm not sure if i'm happy with this chapter to be honest, practically half of this had been typed just then so... *dead face***

**anyways, i hope i didn't move this too fast, and i wanted to fill up the angst meter so i hope i succeeded.**

**have a great week guys, love you all :)**

**apparently, if you review, a fairy visits you... just sayin'**


	24. You're Beautiful

It was serene almost.

Just having her in his arms made everything seem so… unimportant. She looked so peaceful, with her hair tangled over her face, her mascara slightly smudged over her closed eyelids, her hand still gripping onto his neck. He looked down to her naked form, covered by the sheets. His eyes wandered to their discarded clothing, to what just happened.

* * *

_Kissing._

_Her creamy neck exposed, almost teasing him._

_Quinn taking off his hoodie._

_Panting._

_Pushing. Inside her._

_The sound of the head rail banging against the wall. The bed groaning._

_The smell of sweat. _

"_Are you okay?" he panted. _

_She only nodded._

_One final ram._

_A low moan._

_Silence._

* * *

Finn stared at her, wondering how one person can be that perfect. Then he realized he was smiling at her like an idiot. And probably looked super creepy.

"What are you smiling at?" she whispered.

_Caught._"You" he replied. Her eyes opened at him, and smiled back.

She snuggled into his chest, "What time is it?" she mumbled.

He leant back to his alarm clock, taking a deep breath. "Almost 6" he whispered, wrapping his arms around her again.

"I've got to get home soon" she said, though making no move to leave.

After a few minutes of silence he asked, "What are you thinking about?".

"Just how easy this is... with you" she replied, placing a kiss on his jaw. "You feel like breathing".

He smiled down at her, his grin growing wider. "I feel the same way about you" he said, kissing her forehead.

Quinn smiled back at him, sitting up to stretch. "Why are your bags in the corner?" she asked, her eyebrows scrunched up.

Finn sat up as well, "I'm going home tomorrow, then going back to school on Monday... I think" he said, kissing the crease on her forehead.

"School", she mused.

"Sam will be there" he said, looking down at the sheets.

Quinn sighed, "Yes he will", a frown on her face.

"Are you gonna break up with him?" he asked, casting an uncertain look towards her.

Quinn bit her lip, "I love Sam".

"No you don't", Finn said, shaking his head, "If you did you wouldn't be with me right now".

She continued to frown, "Fine. I think I love him", she took a deep breath, turning to him, "Finn... I want to be with you. But this cheating thing we have. It's bad. Really bad. Out of all people I would think that you would understand".

Finn let out a frustrated sigh, "What are you saying? I can't keep up with you Quinn, One minute you love me, the next you're Sam's".

"I'm with Sam, Finn", Quinn repeated.

"You're not in love with him Quinn" he replied.

"Bye Finn" she whispered, getting out of the bed and running out the door, ignoring him calling her name.

And just like that she left him.

Just like that, he could hear his heart slowly breaking, slowly fading.

* * *

Quinn ran.

She locked herself in her car, not bothering to turn her t-shirt the right way around. She hit her head against the steering wheel, letting a sob escape her lips.

_Why does it have to be so complicated? _

She took a deep breath, tears spilling over her face. As she put her cheerios jacket on, she saw the glint of her promise ring as it bounced to the car floor. She reached down and stared at it, thinking of all the times she had been unfaithful to Sam.

Especially that night. She felt sick with herself, sin isn't supposed to feel that good.

When she finally trusted herself to drive, she backed out of the parking lot, rolling down all the windows, driving well over speed limit. Just like Finn did. Then she realized what she was doing. She slowed down her car, trying, so desperately trying to forget him.

To forget his face.

His dimples.

His freckles.

His voice.

His smile.

Everything.

She drove back in complete silence, not daring to breathe too loud in case it made _him _flood back into her mind. When she pulled up into her driveway she simply sat there, watching the light of dawn break through the horizon. She looked down at her hands, staring for what seemed like hours at Sam's promise ring. She closed her eyes as she slipped it on, getting out of her car.

She crept through her house, flinching every time she heard her mother shift in her bed, muttering something about Jesus. _Thank god it's the weekend _she thought as she pulled the covers over herself. After she let sleep overtake her she whispered, "I would do it again with you".

* * *

"Finn! Get up, you're going to be late!" his mom yelled from his door way.

Finn gave a pitiful groan as he slowly propped himself on his elbows, rubbing his eyes. He yawned as he stretched his arms, wondering why his bed didn't look that good last night. Finally, he heaved himself out of his bed, not even bothering to put on a shirt or make his bed. He squinted his eyes as the bright light of the bathroom flicked on, going through his normal morning routines slower than usual.

While sluggishly pulling on his jean jacket, he heard his mom scream, "Finn Christopher Hudson! If you are not down those stairs in less than 30 seconds, I'm going to throw away your Xbox!". At that, he snapped awake and ran down the stairs.

He was not taking _any_ chances when it came to his Xbox.

He breezed through the kitchen, sculling some orange juice while he searched frantically for his keys.

"And the frankenteen makes his appearance from his den" Kurt said, holding up Finn's keys.

Finn let out a relieved sigh, "Thank god. Cya Kurt" he said, making his way over to the door.

"Finn. I will not let you leave this house until you turn your shirt the right away around and make sure your jean jacket is not inside out" Kurt said, making eyes at his clumsy wardrobe. Finn quickly gave Kurt a grateful smile as he turned around and took everything off, putting it on the right way running out the door.

* * *

_I'm not going to have a good day today, _he sighed to himself as he hit the highway.

Of course, he was thinking about _her._

How could he not?

He didn't see her at all on the weekend, she didn't even call. When he pulled up at the school parking lot, he made sure to look down and keep walking. He could practically feel everyone's eyes on him as he made his way to his locker. He could just imagine what crap would be on Jewfro's blog about his fight with Karofsky. He could almost see people nudging the person next to them whispering, "Ain't that the guy who was in a coma". He finally looked up, daring people to stare at him. Everyone of course quickly looked away. He started to walk faster towards his locker, knowing everyone's eyes were on him again. He opened his locker letting out a frustrated breath.

"What's up your ass?" Puck said out of nowhere, his signature smirk on his face.

Finn raised his eyebrows at Puck, letting him know that he was not in the mood today. Puck simply raised his arms in mock defense walking with Finn to English, rambling on about some random chick he met at the bar on Saturday night. Finn immediately zoned out when he saw Quinn walk towards her own class, hands on her hips, queen bitch smirk on her face and Santana and Brittany at her side.

Then she turned towards him.

Call him crazy, but a second, a split second, he saw her smirk fade, for a second, she let him see right through her.

As the day finally ended, Finn couldn't help but smile as he heard the last bell of the day ring. He practically ran to his locker, chucking his books carelessly inside and grabbing his bag. He looked around for about a minute, wondering if she had already left. After another couple of minutes, he sighed and left, making his way to his car. _I'll try tomorrow, _he thought to himself. He stopped in his tracks when he saw her red car still parked in the cheerios designated lot.

* * *

Quinn ran to her car as the first drops of rain fell from the purple-black clouds above her.

Her heart almost stopped when she saw _him, _casually leaning against her car like it was his own. He smiled at her as she came up to the car, she gave a weak smile in response.

"Hey" he said as she reached him.

"Hi" she said, giving a look around, hoping no one would think something was going on between them.

She breathed easier when she saw it was only her and Finn left in the deserted parking lot.

"Can we… talk?" he asked.

She was about to say no, until she saw how strategically he planted himself.

He was leaning on the door handle.

She took a deep breath in, "About what?", looking everywhere except his pleading eyes.

"Friday night" he said weakly.

"What about Friday night?" she shot at him, frustrated that he would not drop this. A blush appeared in his cheeks as he looked down. He opened his mouth to say something when she cut across him. "Look Finn, it's starting to rain and I have to go. Can you please move?".

He nodded as he pushed himself out of her way. She angrily got into the car, turning her keys in the ignition, ignoring Finn who was still standing there. The said car only gave a mournful rumble.

She tried again.

And again.

And again.

She struggled not to notice the growing smirk on Finn's face.

She gave a soft laugh to herself, "Of course".

She let out a frustrated growl and got out of her car, taking out her phone to call Sam. She winced as the rain became slightly heavier, falling onto her hair.

"Don't make him come back, let me drive you" a voice behind her said.

She turned to face Finn,"No it's fine, I'll just wait here" she said. The rain swiftly became faster and heavier, soon making loud splatters against her car roof.

Finn walked towards her, completely unaffected by the rain, "C'mon, Sam's probably home by now".

Quinn bit her lip, "Okay" she said.

He gave her a grin, "Alright let's go" taking her by the hand and running through the empty parking lot.

When they slammed his truck door's shut, they were both thoroughly soaked. Finn let out a relieved laugh as he leant his head against his seat.

"What?" Quinn asked, a smile growing on her face.

He turned to give her his lop-sided grin, "We're soaked" he said, wringing his shirt. Quinn laughed as well, taking her hair out of the rigid pony tail she was forced to wear.

She smiled as she felt his gaze on her. "What?" she asked, a playful smirk on her face.

His however was completely serious, "You're beautiful" he whispered so quietly that for a second she thought she didn't hear him. Her smile disappeared as he leant in to kiss her. As soon as his lips met hers she knew she was his completely, not even Sam's heartbroken face could make her tear herself away from him.

* * *

**Okay.**

**I know what you're thinking but PLEASE let me explain. First, it seems a little drastic to me if Quinn got THAT guilty over a little make out session, so I kinda had to up the ante. And second, I had to make Quinn leave Finn. It's a drama! **

**Alright fine, I do feel like a bit of an idiot. I've been gone for what? A month? And this is what I give you. Wow. I'm terrible.**

**So past all that stuff, I'm SO SO sorry! I'm trying to get back into the chapter a week kind of thing I did before, but as you can tell, it's not going too great. Basically the more I get closer to the end of the story, the worse my writer's block gets. Isn't it supposed to be the other way round?**

******Mark & Happyace88, i wish i could, i sincerely wish i could write them together or break Quinn and Sam up and be done with it but i'm an angst whore! What do you want me to do? **

**Thank you guys for all the lovely reviews! They always give me that wake up call to update my story.**

**So... next chapter. Basically it's a continuation of this chapter. See the thing was, this chapter was originally part of this big chapter that I was still planning out and writing, so I was reading it over like 5 minutes ago and just thought, what the hell, I'll post this considering I've kept you guys waiting for so long.**

**Alright. I've rambled for way to long. Little hint, if it's late (early?)-like right now it's 3.45 am- I will ramble. *The more you know***

** Okay, I'm going. All of you have an amazing week, I've definitely missed you guys. x**


	25. The End

She was quiet for a while.

Too quiet.

Finn hoped that she was just worried about her car, but he couldn't even fool himself.

_Sam._

He sneaked a look back at her. Her head rested against the window, watching the dull scenery fly past. He placed his hand on hers, trying to give her a reassuring smile. She simply pulled away and continued to stare out the window.

Finn sighed, "It's Sam, isn't it?" he whispered.

"He's my boyfriend" she whispered, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

"I don't know why you keep doing this Quinn" he said hotly.

Quinn scoffed, finally looking at him, "Doing what?".

"Saying you love Sam, and then coming back to me. Does it ever possibly cross your mind that it kills me, whenever you say you love him or you're his girlfriend?" he shouted, throwing his hands in the air.

Quinn flinched at his words, making him immediately feel bad for yelling at her.

"It kills me Quinn" he said weakly.

"I'm sorry" she whispered as a lone tear rolled down her cheek. "I can't do anything without hurting someone. If I be with you Sam gets hurt and if I be with Sam you get hurt! Please... Just... Understand" she begged as she wiped away the last of her tears.

Finn only sighed as he pulled up at his own driveway.

"This isn't my house Finn" Quinn said, knotting her perfect eyebrows together.

He gave her a weak smile, "I know. But who else is gonna help me with Spanish?".

Quinn immediately tensed, a guilty look on her face. "…Finn, I-" she started.

"Please Quinn. I'm begging you" he said, giving her a pleading look.

Quinn sucked in a breath, "Okay".

He nodded happily as she gave him a half-hearted smile in return. As she climbed out of his car she gave him a stern look, "1 hour. That's it".

"Thank you!" he yelled, sinking to his knees.

Quinn giggled, "Okay, don't get too excited. It's Spanish, remember?". Finn only nodded, as he stood up, giving her a wide smile.

She couldn't help herself, she grinned back.

* * *

"I don't understand any of this" Finn said finally.

Quinn looked up from the many, _many _sheets of Spanish she had written to help Finn memorize some conjugations. Unfortunately for her, Finn had the shortest attention span when it came to school work.

_He hasn't changed _she mused to herself as stared at the same piece of paper for 10 minutes.

Finn looked up, expecting to see a very annoyed Quinn storming out of his room.

She laughed.

_Laughed. _

"What?" he said stupidly, not finding anything entertaining in the room. Trust me, he'd checked.

"You looked so scared, like I was going to slap you or something" she said between catching her breath.

He gave her a smile in response, focusing his attention on her still wet uniform.

Finn cleared his throat awkwardly, "I've got some boxers and a shirt if you wanna change…".

"No. its fine" she said, waving her hand dismissively.

_Typical Quinn. _

He walked off to his dresser, grabbing an old t-shirt and some boxers, then threw them back onto his bed. Quinn reached over and took the clothes, looking at him weirdly.

He smiled, "I'll be in the hall" he said.

He walked out, smiling to himself when he heard the sound of footsteps in his room.

* * *

"Hey, Finn?" Quinn said as she came out of his room.

Finn turned around, blanching when he saw her. Her hair was out in loose curls, resting softly on his old thin t-shirt, which hung over his checkered boxers. "Finn" she said again, noticing his obvious trance. Finn snapped up, "Wha-what?". She sighed, although with a faint smile on her lips, "I said, I'm kinda hungry, do you want to eat?" she asked. Finn smiled at her, "Sure", following behind her as she made her down the stairs.

As expected, Finn was no whiz in the kitchen.

I mean, sure, he could make a great grilled cheese sandwich, but seriously, who could live off sandwiches?

_It wouldn't be that bad… Sandwiches are awesome! _Finn thought to himself as he watched Quinn fill a large pot with water. Finn glanced at the clock, _So much for the hour thing. _Quinn bent down, turning the dial on the stove, making that _annoying _clicking noise as it tried to start a fire. He raised his eyebrows as he leaned against the kitchen bench, totally _not _checking her out. Quinn then spun around, letting out a frustrated sigh as she placed the pot back in the sink. She stopped though, noticing Finn quickly turning his head to the window, a healthy color rising on his neck.

"Were you just checking me out?" she asked, smirking.

Finn cocked a crooked grin at her, shrugging, "Maybe".

She shoved him lightly onto the pantry, "Pervert", though quietly giggling to herself.

Finn stood stunned for a couple of seconds. _Did she just… shove me? Fine. You want a war Fabray, you got one. _Finn walked behind her, quickly grabbing her wrists and hauling her over his shoulder, grinning widely.

"Finn. Put me down" she said, giggling slightly.

"Never!" he yelled, starting to laugh, releasing her body slightly so she fell a good foot or 2.

She screamed as she slid down his back, "Truce! Truce!" she yelled at him, holding her hands up in mock surrender.

Finn's grin turned into a smug smile as he let her down gently.

"Did you really think that was going to end well for you there?" he said, crossing his arms over his chest in triumph.

Quinn stepped back from him, still holding her hands up. She let a giggle escape her lips, shaking her head slowly. He simply grinned at her as she got the pot from the sink, holding it front of her.

Finn scrunched his eyebrows, "What are you doing?" he asked.

Quinn only gave an innocent smile, "This" she said as she threw the water from the pot over his head.

Finn slowly opened his eyes, squirting water from his mouth. Quinn stood there, biting her lip as she struggled to contain her fits of laughter.

Finn wiped the water from his eyes, "You. Are. So. Dead" he said, fighting the smile shining on his face.

He lunged at her, causing her to scream and run through the house. He chased after Quinn, finally catching her running up the stairs. Just like before, he swung her over his shoulders, ignoring her fists weakly beating against his back, all the while their laughter ringing throughout the house. Finn finally reached the bathroom, quickly stepping into the bath tub, sliding her in front of him and sprayed her. She squealed as the cold water hit her skin as she tried, yet again, to escape from Finn's death grip. Finn stepped forward, intending to trap her completely, his breath caught as he slipped, letting go of the shower head to grasp onto the side. Quinn laughed as she took the shower head from the floor, pushing Finn down on the bottom of the tub. He grinned as he tried to take it from her, hands slipping every time. She laid herself on top of him, manically giggling as she held the water in front of his face. Finn spat some water out of his mouth, trying again to snatch the head from her grasp. His hand clasped around hers, almost by accident.

Her eyes drifted from the spouting water to his hand, a blush rising in her cheeks as she realized she was straddling him, though she made no move to get off.

The laughing stopped.

He reached up, tucking a stray hair behind her ear. She shut her eyes tight, melting as his hand touched her face. She then leant down slowly, almost cautiously, and pressed her lips against his. He immediately responded, tangling one hand in her wet her, another against the small of her back, feeling the water run harmlessly past him. Finn slowly stood up, hoisting her against the wall. He attacked her lips roughly, savoring her taste. He lifted her again, stumbling to his bedroom. He laid her against the sheets slowly, gently.

And in that moment, where he stood in that trance, counting the shades in her hair, the colors in her eyes. She was only his.

Those words coursed through his mind like venom as he hungrily kissed her neck, his hand sliding up her top. She gasped at the warmth of his hand against her skin. Finn weaved his fingers through her hair, the other pulling her towards him.

Then she felt her stiffen against his body, "Finn…" Quinn murmured, her voice broken and weak as she pulled away.

His eyes opened as the warmth of her body left him.

He sat up, watching her move further away from him as she sat at the edge of the bed. It didn't take him long to realize she was crying. He sat next to her, trying to make eye contact. She refused, turning her attention in front of her, tears still streaming down her face.

He sighed, "…Quinn".

She flinched at the mention of her name. He reached for her hand, still smiling as he felt how small hers was compared to his. Surprisingly, she didn't pull away, she laced her fingers in his, squeezing it tight. He glanced at her again; she bit her lip, trying to contain sobs. He couldn't stand to see her like this, to see her so broken. He pulled her into his arms, squeezing her tight. Her broken sobs filled the room. He brought her closer, her cries muffled by his shoulder. He kissed the top her head, lying down with her.

"Can you promise me something?" she whispered against his neck.

"Anything" he said.

"Can we pretend… just for 10 minutes?" she asked.

He didn't need to ask what she meant.

_Pretend we're not cheating. _

_Pretend that everything's going to end up okay. _

_Pretend that you're mine._

"We can pretend forever" he breathed against her hair.

He brought his face to hers, wiping a lone tear trickling down her face. He gave her a small smile before pressing his lips against hers. He pulled her closer,

"Everything's going to be okay. I promise".

* * *

"Do you think it was a mistake, having sex with me?" he asked her.

He knew it was wrong to ask her. Especially here, now. While she lay in bed with him while her current boyfriend was at home, confident that Quinn was faithful to him and only him. It made Finn sick to think of how heartbroken Sam would be if he found out.

It didn't take much imagination, he'd been there.

His gut wrenched as he waited for her answer. She was silent, her eyebrows creased in thought as she played absentmindedly with his hand. He wished he could see past her golden green eyes, to see in her mind, wondering what she was thinking.

_What if she doesn't feel the same? _

_What if she never breaks up with Sam? _

He didn't think he could stand to see her with him again.

Sam with his hands all over _his _Quinn.

"No" she whispered. He let out a small smile, breathing in her vanilla scented hair. He swore he could get high off her smell alone.

"Do you think I'm a bad person Finn?" Quinn asked, turning her face into his chest.

The question could him off guard, "No… why would you think anyone would think you were a bad person?" he asked her.

She breathed in deeply, "I lied…About everything… I lied to you about Puck and me, about… Drizzle… and now I'm lying to Sam about us. I'm not a good person Finn".

Her voice faltered as Finn felt his top grow wet with her tears.

He rubbed her back soothingly, "It doesn't matter about what you did to me, I'm okay, we're okay. And Sam will never know. I'm not gonna tell him, you're not. You're a good person Quinn, amazing actually…" he trailed off, enveloping her in his arms.

"Thank you" she whispered, cupping his cheek.

He smiled sadly, closing his eyes at the touch of her hand. The next thing he felt was her lips on his. She pulled away, mimicking his smile.

"I should go" she said.

He shut his eyes tighter in dread as he felt her hand slip away. He nodded as she sat up, grabbing her uniform off the floor. She stood up, sad smile still in tacked.

"Finn. Maybe we should just stop. Just be friends" she said slowly, looking down at her hands.

He nodded in agreement as he became numb.

He watched his image of her walking away from a not so heartbroken Sam into his arms, a bright smile on her face, shatter into a million tiny pieces on the wooden floor.

"Friends" he said, plastering a fake grin on her face. She smiled as she turned around making her way to his car. He stood in his room for a while, his fake grin immediately dropping as she left. He turned towards his bed, seeing him and Quinn together not moments before just talking. Her face buried in his chest, his arms securely around her. He sighed, wishing if there was anyone he could be, it would be Sam.

Just so he could be with her.

* * *

Despite their new "friend" agreement, the ride to Quinn's was silent.

He wished he could say something to her. Maybe a joke, just anything to lighten the somber mood. His car creaked as he pulled up in her driveway, Finn's hard face staring at the house in front of him. He got out of the car, slamming his door as he walked to Quinn's side, opening hers. She stepped out and walked in silence with Finn to the front door.

Quinn turned to him, "Thanks for driving me home, Finn". She smiled up at him.

He smiled back, "Hey, don't sweat it. It's what friends are for right?". He let his smile drop as he tapped her on the shoulder, like he would do with Puck or Mike.

And he walked away.

"I'm so sorry" he heard her say from behind him.

He stopped, spinning around in anger, "Oh you're sorry? Really Quinn, really? Because that seems to be your theme song for the entire fucking week!" he yelled.

She flinched, a tear falling down her face, "What do you want me to do, Finn? Huh? What do you want me to do?" she begged.

Finn threw his hands in the air, "I want you to break up with Sam! I want you to be with me!" he shouted, then in a weaker tone, "I want you to choose me…".

"I have always chosen you" Quinn choked, more tears beginning to stream down her face.

He nodded, "Mmm… right… because with Puck? That was just a sleepover. And Sam? Yeah, he's just a friend" he said sarcastically.

"You were with Rachel! I wanted you to be happy! She yelled at him. She looked down, "I _needed _you to be happy".

Finn stopped, feeling like a major dick as he noticed her torn expression.

"I was never happy" he whispered, "Maybe… maybe sometimes I was… but whenever I saw you, looking at Puck, or Sam… I just…" he faltered.

"You just what?" Quinn sniffled, wiping her eyes. He sighed, stepping towards her,

"I just couldn't help wishing that you still looked at me like that". She bit her lip, trying to contain her tears. "Quinn I-" he started before he was interrupted by the buzzing of Quinn's phone.

She looked at him apologetically, before answering it. "Hello?" she said, clearing her throat.

"Hey Quinn" Sam said from the phone.

"Hey" she said, trying to sound happy.

"What are you doing tonight" he asked.

Quinn wiped another tear from her face before answering, "Um… nothing what are you doing?".

Sam laughed, it made Finn's blood boil.

"What a coincidence… You. Me. Breadstix. 8. Sound good?".

Quinn cast a look at Finn, "Um… Sam…" she started.

"Yeah?" he said, voice unsuspecting of anything.

"Pick me up in an hour" she said weakly.

And with that, Finn walked off towards his car, thrusting his hands in his pockets.

"Finn wait!" she called out to him, running out to him. He kept walking towards his car, hanging his head lower. She kept running to him, "Finn please!" she yelled.

He spun around, hurt clearly etched on her face, "What?".

She placed her hands on his neck, pulling him towards her lips.

He slowly put his arms around her, pulling her closer to his body. "I'm sorry" she said against his lips. He stayed with her for a few more seconds before pulling away.

He looked up, "I'm sorry too, Quinn".

And just like that, he walked back to his car.

Just like that, he left her.

* * *

**Tuesday.**

He tried to apologize. He tried to make it right.

**Wednesday.**

He tried again. Nothing.

**Thursday.**

She walked down the hallway with Sam. Their hands linked together, her promise ring shining.

He needed to throw up.

**Friday.**

He forgot his pencil case in his locker.

He asked her. She solemnly gave him a pencil. She never asked for it back.

**Friday Afternoon.**

She was practicing at the opposite end of the field. He was doing laps. He went past her. She looked up. His heart beat faster.

**Friday Night.**

He called. Voicemail.

**Saturday.**

He went past her house, staring at her driveway. Staring at two figures fighting there. The girl was crying. The boy was angry. He looked away. Then looked back. No one.

**Sunday.**

He went to Church. Like actually went to church. He saw her. Her hair was down from its usual ponytail. She looked beautiful. Then he noticed a tall blond next to her. He walked out.

**Sunday Night.**

Laying in his bed, he wondered how she could be so fine, so happy, while he was completely miserable without her.

* * *

By now, nobody so much batted an eye when he strolled through McKinley.

He figured it might have something to do with Puck considering he bitched about it all last night while he was playing with him on Halo 3. He walked down the hallway to his locker, thinking about asking Mike to help him out with a raid when he saw her. Sam at her side, rambling on about something that he couldn't hear. She looked away from Sam's face to stare in front of her, stopping as well when she saw Finn staring at her in the middle of the hallway. Sam continued to talk to her as if she was still faking that interested look.

She just stared at him, he just stared back.

It was the first time she looked at him in a week, like _really _looked at him.

He swallowed, ignoring a freshman's curious stare at his trance. He had no idea what to do.

Smile?

Wave?

Try to apologize.

_No… _he concluded. _None of that would work. _

He sighed, then turned to his locker. He opened the door with more force than necessary, pausing as he wondered what the hell he even came to his locker for.

_History. _

_Super. _

He bit his lip as he scanned for the heavy textbook he knew was tucked away somewhere. He found it behind his English books, finally packing his bag. He shut the door and turned around to get to his next class.

That's when he noticed the hallway was empty.

And Quinn Fabray was leaning against the lockers opposite him.

* * *

"Hi" he said, an uncertain smile playing on his lips.

"Hi" she replied, mirroring his expression.

"Quinn-" he started, but she was quicker, "Finn, don't. Just… don't".

She looked down sadly, crossing her arms protectively in front of her chest.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have left you the other night" he said, looking down.

She chuckled, causing Finn to look up at her in confusion, "Now who's had the theme song for the week?".

He smiled as he looked up at her, still amazed at how beautiful she looked. Finn licked his dry lips as an awkward silence settled in the hallway.

"I'm guessing you're not breaking up with Sam" he said, putting his hands in his pockets.

"He gave me a promise ring, Finn" she said, both giving a glance down to the awful, _awful_ ring she was wearing.

Finn laughed darkly, "Yeah, how's that going for you?".

She scoffed, "Yeah, well, y'know what, _Hudson_? You're such a dick sometimes".

He was slightly taken aback by her reaction, he was _kidding. _

Sort of.

Maybe.

Not really.

He put his head down, after all, _he _was in the doghouse.

Quinn swallowed, "I had sex with you, Finn. And I went to your house on Monday night. And I lied to my boyfriend about it. But whatever I did with you was _so _wrong to Sam. After everything he's done for me. Just, can we… drop it? Please?" she asked, looking painfully alike to the Quinn that night when he told her parents everything.

"I'm sorry. But I can't" he said, looking down again.

Quinn bit her lip as she pushed herself off the lockers into the astronomy room.

Finn wasn't sure if he wanted to follow her or if Quinn even wanted him there.

So he walked past the room to his next class, which he knew he would get a detention for. He was pretty proud of himself until he heard a sob echo through the hallway.

He stopped.

_Don't. Don't. Don't. Don't. DON'T. Urgh… Fuck me! _

He spun around, feeling like a major asshole as he opened the door to the sounds of muffled sobs. He closed the door, wincing as it made a loud click. Quinn spun around, relaxing when she saw him. She looked away from him and wiped her eyes on her cheerios jacket. He sighed as he sat down on one of the desks, Quinn following suit on the other side of the room.

"Can I ask you something?" he asked, finally looking up at her.

She snapped her head up, "Sure" she said, her voice hoarse.

He looked down again, unable to meet her sad green eyes. "Why Sam?" he said, almost not wanting to hear the answer.

"I can't hurt him, Finn" she said after a tense moment, "I can't break up with Sam to have you. Not when he's given me everything".

Finn's heart sank, even after everything she'd said, she would never break up with Sam.

They're both silent for the longest time, even after the bell for fourth period rang they didn't move.

"I'm sorry" he finally whispered, looking everywhere except at Quinn, "I was completely out of line. Y'know, trying to force you to break up with Sam. You love him. And I guess I can't compete with that" he said as he walked towards her, "I just want you to know" he said, finally facing her, "I love you, Quinn".

"I love you too" she choked, tears flowing down her face, placing her hand on his cheek.

He put his hand over hers, pressing his forehead against hers, "This is it, huh?" he said, voice cracking though giving her a small smile.

She let out a small sob before shaking her head, placing her other hand on his face and pulled him in, placing a kiss on his lips. He closed his eyes as his tears mingled with hers, savoring the last kiss he would ever have with _her. _

The girl who had stolen his heart, broken it into a million tiny pieces, put it together again, and with 3 words, completely shattered it again.

He placed a kiss on her forehead. He stayed like that for a while as he held her while she cried.

Finally he whispered into her hair, "Bye Quinn", removing his hands from her, his lips from her head.

She grabbed onto his hand as he walked away, giving him one last look. He closed his eyes as a few more tears escaped from his eyelids. He let go of her hand, and walked out of the classroom, putting on a painful smile.

Her words reverberating in his head, over and over again.

_I love you. _

_I love you. _

_I love you. _

_I love you._

* * *

**I'm not going to say anything. **

**Because I know i'm in trouble. **

**It's been a month... Damn, more than a month. **

**And I give you a confusing 4,000 word chapter. **

**Way to go me. **

**Whatever. **

**I had to give you something. **

**The next chapter will be definitely easier to write, and it will be shorter. Oh well. If it was confusing, the bit where Finn said, "This is it, huh?" he meant that _that _was the last time they will have any romantic involvement. At least for a while. Sorry i'm not in a very talktative mood. I just want to get some sleep. I've been working my ass of at this chapter and I still don't like it. But hey, better late than never, right?**

**No?**

**Okay.**

**I'm gonna go... so, good luck with all your troubles, and have a great week.**

**Oh and we have... *checks* 3 chapters to go. **

**YES!**

**Because then, I have a new story for you guys. Completely AU but don't we kinda like it that way? I'll explain it to you guys in the last chapter.**

**Alrightie, I'm leaving. x**


	26. Author's Note

Hey guys, look who's back?

Okay.

First off, just the biggest apology anybody could give to you guys. You've been sending me lovely reviews and messages that are just amazing, and I here I am ignoring my story AND you guys.

All of you, that's right, you, reading this right now, are the reason I keep writing, and obviously for my love for Fuinn. So you'll hopefully be glad to know that I'm working on a new chapter for Can't Live Without You, and once I'm finished with that, then I'll continue the One That Got Away. Seem fair?

Just one more thing, in my defence, I haven't even been in the English speaking world for 2 months, yes, I've been in Italy so it was very hard to work on my stories, even though I tried all the time. But yeah. I'm going to go now, and attempt to finish my story.

Thanks again for sticking with me for so long, I can't believe it's been like a year and a half. And yeah.

Ahem. I love you guys, bye X


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